Oh! This My Husband – Episode 36

Part 36

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© Femi Oluyamoju

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NEW WIFE FOR MY HUSBAND

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That scream brought everyone back to life as we all shouted various things at the same time.

I shouted…. Mogbe!!!!

Assistant Pastor shouted…. Jesus!!!!!

Sister Accord shouted…… Nooooo love!!!!!

My husband shouted……. Sorry!!!!!!

Pastor didn’t shout, rather I saw his lips moving in quiet prayers. He was blasting in tongues.

As if controlled by a remote, Brother Accord stopped abruptly before Pastor. Pastor please let me teach that squawk a lesson; Brother Accord’s voice rolled like thunder…

His fist was clenched and his eyes was looking over Pastor’s head to my crouching husband.

Pastor decreed….

I take over this situation in the name of JESUS. Back into tongues for few seconds….

Brother Accord, I know you respect the spirit of God in me, please sit here. Pastor said while leading Brother Accord to sit.

Like an obedient child, visibly angry and breathing heavily, the mountainous Brother Accord sat down.

And that is how Pastor saved us from blood shed that day.

Pastor stood amidst a very tensed gathering. Please my brothers and sisters, let’s take this issue one after the other. Pastor said.

Assistant Pastor was the first to speak, Please Pastor, I have come for two reasons.

First to hand over all my duties in church to you. A man who cannot control his house is not worthy to head a church. I have written my resignation letter from church affairs and I will hand it over to the elders tomorrow.

Secondly, Bose says she is pregnant for Brother Momoh, I’m not here to quarrel or fight. Let brother Momoh take care of her till she gives birth. Then he should return her back to me as a single girl that she was before he tampered with her. That’s all I have to say. Assistant Pastor said and sat down.

I looked from Pastor to my quiet husband to Pastor’s wife, no one is talking. Is this how they will all allow new wives to be posted into my house….

I raised my hand to speak out, to tell them it’s impossible but Pastor’s wife motioned to me to keep quiet.

Brother Accord stood up to talk. The ground vibrated at the sound of his voice. The emotions were very deep. This man is hurt beyond words.

Brother Accord said; naturally I don’t know how to settle quarrels by words. I prefer to settle with a fight.

It’s so painful that I met Pastor Emma here. He is a man that I respect so much amongst all the other men of God I have met in my life.

He is one who speaks the truth, acts the truth and never deviate from the truth. In my utmost respect for this man I will not beat the hell out of that useless man today but I need him to prove to me that he is a man and the only way men prove themselves is to face one another.

Total rubbish, arrant nonsense, very disheartening for a man who is married to his own wife to still be chasing other men’s wife, right inside the church.

I am sorry to say sir, (he bowed to Pastor Emma at this point) this man is worse than a goat, he is a worm.

He had just ended my wonderful marriage and I am also so disappointed in that woman I called my wife.

But because I will never lay a finger on a woman and I don’t want dead bodies picked up from my house, I have packed her belongings from my house.

I brought the ones that I know she can afford to pay for. She should take them along with her to this man’s house. She has my account details and would pay me for them.

I have spent over eighty-five million naira on this lady in the few years we have been married. Trips round the world, best restaurants, most expensive facial surgeries and best of anything money can buy.

I’m handing her over to you now, Mr. worm, let her stay with you also.

Here is my account number (putting his hand into his pocket searching frankly for a piece of paper, when he got the piece of paper out, he handed it over to Pastor) He continued saying; give that worm my account number. I give him three months to transfer the eighty-five million naira I have spent on this woman into my account because he just got himself a new wife.

Now that is what I’ve come to say. I’m sorry Pastor, I’m not in the mood for counselling now.

I can’t disobey you, I can’t say no to you, so I’ll rather not listen to you at all. Please Pastor, don’t tell me not to go. Don’t tell me what to do, I want to have a permanent record that I never disobeyed you, so please Pastor let me go. After saying all these, he stormed towards the door.

Haaaa, wife number three within one hour……

Pastor is here doing nothing as men are dashing my husband new wives.

Pastor didn’t say anything; he was busy speaking in quiet tongues.

Abeg, who tongues help in this situation. Even Paul said tongues can’t help people that can’t understand it.

Just as Oga “Mike Tyson” got to the door, his wife or should I say my husband’s newest acquired wife dropped a bomb shell.

She said it quietly to Pastor but every one of us heard it loudly.

Oga boxer at the door froze.

My husband’s mouth was so wide open that spittle was dropping.

Even Pastor that was forming superman stopped invoking tongues for a minute.

Me!!! My legs became weak and refused to carry me again.

She said: I am taking poison now and I want to die, but not here. I want to die in his arms. She pointed to her husband.

Just then she brought out snipper, the very strong insecticide and raised it to her mouth…..

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