BY RUTHIE LEE
I dropped my phone on the bed and looked sideways not knowing what to say.
Thankfully Jason is working to get over his feelings for me.
But then Neil is at the other end, he went to get himself drunk and now he is blurting out all this, about how he loves me and I don’t love him back. And now he wants us to break up because we can never be perfect together.
That guilty feeling seized in my chest as I saw the missed calls from Jason and Neil.
Well especially Neil, because of everything he said through the voice mail.
If only I let him kiss me, he wouldn’t have…
I sighed and laid back on the bed with, dropping my phone on top of my drawer beside the bed. Everything happens for a reason and I didn’t kiss him because I didn’t feel like it and cause I didn’t feel the same way he felt for me.
There’s a reason behind why he didn’t notice my feelings for him back then in high school, maybe we’re not meant to be, and we can’t force what’s not meant to be.
Bananas goes with bananas, mangoes goes with mangoes, you can’t force banana and mangoes go together.
I closed my eyes and made my head comfortable around the pillow.
And before I knew it, I was fast a sleep.
I woke up that same morning by eight a.m and quickly went to have my bath, my mom and dad would be home soon too.
After washing up and having breakfast, I called my mom and she told me, they just left the hospital.
I decided on calling Neil, I wanted to talk to him while he is sober, what he sent last night was still making me feel bad. I wanted to make things right.
Thankfully Neil picked up immediately as I called him.
And his cheerful hello sounded from the other side of the phone.
“HI… Neil?” I breathed out.
“How are you doing?” He asked calmly.
“Fine… I guess, you?”
“I’m fine!” He said.
“Okay, so i revieved you voice note…” I said hesitantly.
I heard the sigh and bit my bottom lip. “I know, I didn’t know i sent that until this morning that was stupid of me!” Neil laughed nervously.
“You were really drunk last night, are you okay now?” I asked.
“Well I’m fine now, and I really needed that so it’s okay!” Neil laughed.
We both remained quiet until he added. “And about everything I said!”.
My breathing hitched as I continued to listen to him.
“I meant everything I said though, and I don’t really think we’re meant to be, you understand right?” Neil stated.
“Neil, if it’s about that kiss, we ca–
“Can maybe what?” Neil interrupted, “We can kiss again? You’re pretty funny Elsa, but it’s not about the kiss, I just don’t see an us, I don’t… Look I fu.cked up by not noticing your feelings then and now it’s the other way round. But don’t worry I am not having any regrets, we can just be friends Elsa, just like always okay?” I could feel his smile from the phone and I couldn’t believe my ears.
He is such… he is very understanding.
“Thank you!” was all I could stay.
“You’re welcome. You don’t have feelings for me and I cannot force that, just be who you want to be and love who you want to love. Lately I’ve come to be very understanding and sorry if I said any word that hurt you through my voice mail” Neil said and I nodded and breathed out a “No! You didn’t”.
I smiled at his gentle words and understanding heart.
“Okay thanks again!” I sighed.
“No problem” Neil said and we both hung up. The guilty feeling left my chest as a small smile
curved up on my face.
Neil is so nice.
I heard as the sound of the front door and I quickly rushed to the door to see my mom and Dad walking inside the house, my mom was looking good, like nothing ever happened and my Dad looked like he could really use another sleep for another forty eight hours.
I welcomed my mom with a hug and she wouldn’t stop smiling.
I walked her back to her room and when we both settled down on her bed she started to ask me about work and other things.
And then she asked about Neil all of a sudden.
“Oh Neil is fine!” I replied and I don’t know what was wrong with my tone but she asked.
“What’s up with your tone, is he not fine?” she narrowed her eyes at me.
“Huh?” I was confused.
“The way you said ‘Neil is fine’ sounded like he’s not fine!”. My mom stated.
“Oh” I laughed. “Well my bad, but he’s actually fine.” I added.
“Hmm… Okay are you guys fine?” my mom blurted.
I gave her a look. “You mean, are we fine individually, or you mean our relationship?”.
“Your relationship!” My mom plainly stated.
“Well we’re fine being friends!” I smiled.
“Friends?” my mom gave a bewildered look.
“Yeah, we broke up few minutes ago!” I said like it was nothing, and my mom let out the loudest
“What?” she yelled.
“You just came back from the hospital mom, remember your state!” I reminded.
“I don’t care, why did you guys break up, you were both a perfect couple!” my mom said.
“Really a perfect couple!?” I scoffed.
“Huh?” My mom said.
“It’s really a big ‘huh?’ mom, cause Neil and I are not the so called perfect couple you’re saying, everyone calls a perfect couple or relationships when you and your boyfriend has the perfect height distance, or when you’re pretty and your boyfriend is also pretty, or when you guys laugh out loud for people to hear all the time. That is not a perfect couple, well it is on the outside for the eyes of people, but people should focus more on the inside to judge if it’s really a perfect couple or not, mom sincerely, I used to have a crush on Neil back then in highschool but he never noticed me, well it was a one sided love so it was nothing big though. And now the feeling’s all gone and he started to develop feelings for me and asked me out, I accepted his feelings out of pity cause I didn’t want him to feel bad and now I feel bad cause now I feel like I’ve made him felt worse, but he’s always so bottled up with his feelings and always tries to be understanding. I like that about him but it’s not good, he told me we should break up, he knows I don’t share the same feelings for him so he decided on the break up!” I rushed the whole words i said and my mom blinked rapidly.
“That is… I don’t know what to say but I sure do know what thing, rejecting someone is far better than accepting them out of pity, if you don’t like them, just let them know, and being In a relationship you don’t want to be in, is just so bad!” my mom stated and I sighed.
“I know, I shouldn’t have done that, but it’s okay now, we’ve resolved everything between us!” I said with a small sigh.
“Okay dear, whatever you do just know I’m always in full support!” my mom smiled and I nodded.
“So would you like to eat anything!?” I asked.
“Nope, I ate a huge burger on my way back, so I’m more than full, and shouldn’t you be getting ready for work?” my mom asked.
“Work doesn’t start until three, and it’s just twelve p.m” I reminded her and she nods.
Time was slow that day but the usual television shows helped, till it was time for me to go to work, like I slept so much I feel so energetic. And also feel so happy, because of what Neil did, he’s so understanding and I hope he finds someone better than me, someone who deserves the sweet and understanding Neil that I know.
I smiled at the sun, when I got inside the bus, it was beaming so bright and it just gave a cheerful vibe.
I was happy and cheerful at that moment and I loved the feeling, let’s be happy, we only live once.
I got to the Huggins residence and in no time, I found myself inside the house.
I found Mrs. Huggins in the living room talking to Dessera about something and when she noticed me, she held up the most beautiful smile ever. “Elsa!” she called happily.
“Hi Mrs. Huggins!”.
She doesn’t have to work or go to work, when you have a filthy and Rich husband you get to stay home all day in fancy looking clothes and Shoes…
Mrs. Huggins never seemed to fail me with her dresses.
“Oh, so glad you’re here, Jason has finally get a hold of himself and as a better mom, I apologized to him for what I did.” Mrs. Huggins said happily. “Oh that’s great!” I added.
“I know right?” she smiled.
I nodded and told her I’ll be in Jason’s room now.
She nodded and I left for Jason’s room.
I gave a small knock on the door. And heard a “You can come in!” from the inside.
I pushed the white door open and walked in his already too familiar room.
Surprisingly, Jason was already waiting at his study desk for me. And I couldn’t be more proud.
So good he’s pushing the feeling things aside.
I sat down beside him and adjusted the chair away from his, just a bit, so we won’t bump into each other if we try to lift our elbows up or more.
I dropped my bag on the desk and breathed out a “Hi”.
“Hi” Jason replied. He remained quiet for a while before turning to me… “Okay so can we make this lesson the normal way it is before, instead of saying stupid ‘Hi’s and hellos, it’s awkward and stupid” Jason ranted.
“Well sorry to burst your bubbles, but you did reply me, so I guess we’re both freaks them” I raised my brows at him and he rolled his eyes.
And that was how the before atmosphere came back.
We both worked on some topics and Jason was really back on track cause he understood everything I was explaining, no more lost in thoughts or even finding zoned out.
Well he understands it’s for the best, it’s lovely how two of the guys who loves me are understanding. And I used to think Jason was childish. Well I take back all my words.
Jason solved all the whole equations without making a single mistake and I complimented him for his good work.
I started to flip the pages of the textbook to know what topic to work on next, while Jason was quiet, actually busy with his phone though.
I finally found a topic and called for his attention and he immediately dropped his phone and turned to me.
Well I started to make an explanation on the topic and before I knew it, my saliva clogged on my throat and I started to cough. Well that is a normal incident for everyone. But Jason quickly told me not to worry that he’d get me a glass of water immediately and dashed out of the room before I could protest.
I sighed, as I stood straight still watching the door. Guess I was too late, well I could really use a glass of water, I’ve been talking non stop.
I sat on Jason’s chair and sighed again. His phone blinked and turned on, I didn’t mean to pry but he was having a text conversation with the participant ‘Donald’ I remember the Donald guy being his friend.
I didn’t want to read his text conversation but the message I saw made me to. And it was Jason who sent it to donald.
**I act like I’m okay, but I know deep down I’m not, I have to be okay, unless I won’t see her again. Or at least I have to pretend I’m okay in order for her to be here**
Why didn’t he put a lock on his phone??
Curiously I read the next text and the next text and the next one.
Donald: *You are never going to be okay just know that*
Jason: *Try to be positive, I’m dying here, like she’s here beside me, I can’t take it*.
Donald: *To my own thinking, I think you’ll be fine if you just go on one date with her, maybe that would take your mind off awkward things, you’ll really get to see who she really is despite the teacher role.*
Jason: *A date with her? That sounds nice but are you going to ask her out for me cause I can’t, so don’t ever think a date is happening you prick* Donald:*Your problem, not mine, you dweeb*
And that was the message that came in.
I stood up and sat back on my chair.
And here I am thinking he was over me. But he’s not.
The door opened and Jason walked in with a glass of water.
“Thanks” I said as he dropped the water in front of me. Thankfully his phone has slept off again.
“You welcome!” He said as he sat down.
I gulped down the whole glass and turned to him.. And out of nowhere I said.
“Do you want to go on a date with me?”
BY RUTHIE LEE