Adebimpe: The Facebook Girl – Episode 38
Segun arrived my house at 5:50am in the morning
and met me and my co-tenants outside mourning and
discussing in groups as if someone died .
SEGE: guy, wetin do your number?, e no dey waka?
And wetin dey happen here?, person died?
ME: phone kee?. Our compound was robbed last
night and my phone was taken away with my laptop
SEGE: haaa!!, no wonder you were all outside at this
time.
ME: **sober** na so we see am ooo
SEGE: se na only you dem rob?
ME: at all, they robbed the whole compound and took
away all valuables. Mummy tolu and her daughter
was even raped sef
SEGE: haa, na wa oooo.
ME: the thing tire me
SEGE: hope you have prepared for your trip?
ME: prepare kee?, how will I go about my credentials
when my phone and system had been stolen?. Even
my nokia torchlight is gone? And how will I contact
my uncle?
SEGE: no wahala. I will give you my android phone
with my line, I will be calling you with my nokia
touchlight that has my second line.
ME: then how will I go about the documents.
SEGE: along the journey, you would re-download the
stuffs on this phone and print it out using the card
reader I will give to you.
ME: ok pal. But how about the one you wanted to
scan to me?.
SEGE: I will give the guy your mail, so he would scan
it and send directly to your mail and you can print it
out also.
ME: what about my uncle, I need to contact him. I
have never been to his place in Ado before. And my
line is gone, how will I locate him? Since he won’t be
able to reach me?
SEGE: don’t you know his line offhand?
ME: I swear I don’t
SEGE: its easy, sebi you dey use blackberry?
ME: yes
SEGE: and you registered blackberry account with
your email address?
ME: yes
SEGE: and your uncle’s number is saved on the
blackberry?
ME: yes
SEGE: then all your contacts are backed up on your
ME: how?
SEGE: just log in to your yahoo mail address and on
the homepage, click on contacts.
Me: are you sure I will find it?
SEGE: yes, I’m very sure.
ME: chaii, its really good to have a “tech guru” as a
friend.
SEGE: **laughs***. Time is no more on our side, go
and bath and then dress up
ME: ok, help me to sign in into my mail and be doing
the stuff while I bath.
SEGE: ok, wetin be that your password sef?,
“adebimpe” abi?
ME: you no well. Its the same with the one I used for
facebook.
SEGE: **laughs*** ok.
I rushed to the bathroom to shower and brush my
teeth. I dressed up and picked my remaining
credentials, some other things. And by 6:08, I’m done
and ready. By this time, segun was busy downloading
my credentials from my mail. We both walked out
and I locked the door. He followed me to the taxi and
we boarded the taxi together, he showed me how to
access my contacts from my email and behold, all
my phone contacts was backed up on my phone. I
checked for my uncle’s number and dialled it.
ME: hi sir
UNCLE: hi, who is this?
ME: onihaxy sir
UNCLE: what happened to your line ?
ME: my phone was stolen sir, so a friend borrowed
me his phone.
UnCLE: anyways, where are you?
ME: at the park.
UNCLE: by this time?. I expected you to be almost
here by now, this is 7:05am
ME: I will soon be there sir. Akure to Ado is just
45minutes sir.
UNcLE: ok, safe journey
ME: thanks sir **hanged up****
Segun and I arrived at the park by 7:12am, he gave
me the phone and promised to keep intouch and also
ensure to tell the guy to scan and send the stuffs to
me. Segun returned home and I sought the service of
the food sellers at the park to fill my tummy before
the bus was filled up. At about 7:35, the bus was
filled up and set to move.
I was in the bus and I downloaded all the files into
the memory card. The phone battery was at 55% and
segun didn’t give me his charger. Oppps!!!!, I even
forgot to collect the card reader from him.
At 8am, my uncle almost drained the battery of the
phone with calls. “Where are you?, where are you?”.
At a point in time, I had to lie to him that the bus had
a flat tire and the driver stopped over to replace it.
The passengers closer to me were marvelled by my
lies and they opened their mouth wide at me. A lady
sitting behind me even said it jokingly that “bros!!,
you can lie oooo” and we all laughed it off.
At 8:50am, the bus arrived at ado and I alighted from
the bus.
“How do I print this stuff now oo?”
I looked at the opposite side of the road and I saw a
guy hawking phone accessories in a wheel barrow. I
screamed “eeeehssssss” and he stopped. I crossed
over to meet him and I told him that I needed a card
reader, he said he doesn’t have it. Then I thought of
it that a USB cable can do the work. I told him to
give me a USB cable for blackberry since it also
works for android phones. He said it cost 250naira
and I paid him after collecting the cable. I asked
from people around on where I could get a computer
center and I was directed to a shop down the road.
On getting there, the woman was just opening the
shop and I greeted her.
ME: good morning ma. Please I want to make a
printout.
WOMAN: you have to wait for me to sweep and clean
up the shop and pray.
ME: haaaaa!!!!, how long will it take to finish all
these?
WOMAN:**holding a broom*** let’s say like 30
minutes sha .
ME: haaaa!!. Please ma, I need to submit this thing
at latest 9:30am or else, I will loose my career. This
is 9:03am please.
WOMAN: ** dimmed her eyes and looked at me**
ehn ehn!!!
ME: yes ma.
WOMAN: ok, black printing or coloured?
ME: coloured ma
WOMAN: your money is 300naira per print
ME: haa!!, pls ma, I always do it for 100naira back in
Akure.
WOMAN: here is Ado not Akure, I can only do it for
200naira last price. If you can’t pay, then you can
leave.
ME: **na thunder go fire you. Because you don see
say na emergency abi?, no be your fault**. Ok ma,
let’s do it
WOMAN: where is your flash drive
ME: I’m printing from phone ma
WOMAN: phone? How?
ME: through USB cable ma.
WOMAN: haaa!!, will it work?, I haven’t done that
before?
Me: it will work.
She switched on her system after dropping her broom
outside. I attached my usb cable to the system and
transferred the stuffs to her system.
Me: pls ma, you will use a thick certificate paper ma,
not ordinary A4 paper.
WoMAN: huuuh. You money is 500naira each oooo.
ME: ha ma, but why?
WOMAN: the price is different
ME: but its the same price in Akure ma. Its still N100
naira
WOMAN: **frowned*** should I use A4 paper then or
you take it to your akure to do the Printing?
ME: ***phone ringing***, no vex ma, let’s make it
300naira ma, I beg of you ma. Please have mercy on
me.
WOMAN: I will just consider that amount because I
have kids too and I want them to be successful like
you, I will consider the 350naira last price.
ME: ***picked call*** thanks ma. “Squeeze me”,
Hello segun, how you dey?, you number has been
unreachable since
SEGE: I had a flat battery ni. I just charged it
Me: ok, you forgot to give me the card reader
SEGE: oooops!, I didn’t even realized it sha. How will
you do it now?
ME: well, I purchased a usb cable and used it to
transfer the stuffs. I’m even at the computer centre
sef.
SEGE: that’s good. The guy said he has sent the
stuff. Check your mail box.
ME: ok, thank you, I will.
I checked my mail and downloaded the backpage
sent to me. I transfered it to the system. The woman
printed everything out and laminate them thereafter.
Chaiii, the thing looks 80% real. Just that the quality
of the ink was lesser than that of the original copy.
ME: woman, how much is my bill?
WOMAN: 1,200naira.
ME: haaa!!, for just 2 print outs?
WOMAN: I thought we have concluded on the price
before?
ME: I don’t know its up to this amount ****phone
ringing****
