The Short Lover Boy – Episode 3

 

~THE SHORT LOVER BOY~

 

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By: Authoress Sharon ~Ronnie✨✨

 

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~unedited~

 

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~CHAPTER THREE~

 

~THE EYE~

 

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~SAMMY’S POV~

 

*

 

It’s a few days after the phone call to Janie Hodges. Gus and I are scoping out the cafeteria as part of my survey of women. *

 

“My stomach hurts,” whines Gus. “I think I ate too fast.”

 

*

 

“You’re just mad because you couldn’t build a fort out of frankfurter skin,” I tell him. “Besides, the reason we ate fast was so we could start the survey.” *

 

“Why couldn’t we wait until later?”

 

*

 

“Gus,” I explain patiently, “the cafeteria’s a perfect place for checking out a woman. You can tell a lot by the way she eats. Little things people don’t usually

 

 

notice. For instance, does she yell at her friends with her mouth full? Does she tear up her napkin to make spit wads? Does she have a milk in her mustache?” *

 

I point to a table nearby. “Take Roxie Lundquist. Ever notice the way she shapes her bread into little squares to form dice?” *

 

“Hey, how does she do that?” Asks Gus.

 

*

 

“Or Irene klump. See anything funny about her?”

 

*

 

Gus squints over in her direction. “Her hair?”

 

*

 

“No, I mean the way she eats.”

 

*

 

“But she’s not eating,” he tells me. “There’s no food on her plate.”

 

*

 

“Exactly, because she already wolfed it down. Now I ask you, what kind of person finishes lunch in three minute flat?” *

 

“We did.”

 

*

 

“I’m talking about women.”

 

*

 

“Maybe she’s doing a survey on men,” says Gus.

 

*

 

I look to see if he’s joking. He’s not. “I can see we’re Staring at a pretty basic level,” I tell him. “I’m going to give you some background information about women. You might want to take notes.” *

 

“Huh? Oh, right.” Gus whips out his notebook and one of those mechanical

 

pencils that write in four colors.

 

*

 

“Which color do you think I should use?”

 

I just stare at him.

 

*

 

“Maybe red,” he says. “It’s kind of like lipstick. But my sister likes green. Of course, most people think blue is nicer. But black’s easier to read.”

 

*

 

“Gus. Are you finished?”

 

*

 

“Red, definitely red.”

 

*

 

“Try to concentrate,” I say.

 

*

 

“Hey, this thing is jammed,” says Gus. He’s fiddling with the pen, pounding on

 

the topic with his palm. I calmly take it away from him, click it so the red point

 

comes out, and hand it back.

 

*

 

“First off,” I say, “women tend to cry a lot.”

 

*

 

“. . .Cry. . a. . .lot,” says Gus, printing every word carefully in his notebook. He shows me the page. “Is that okay, Sammy?” *

 

“Fine, fine,” I tell him. “Most of the time, all they think about is mush, romantic stuff. They do things like write letters to Mel Gibson and memorize the words of their favorite love song.

 

*

 

I start pacing back and forth. It gets the ideas flowing. I can feel the brain waves

 

Zipping back and forth inside my head. “Women are always going on diets. But

 

they have this uncontrollable urge to bake chocolate chips cookies. It’s one of the

 

mysteries of modern science.”

 

*

 

Gus nods and keeps writing. He sticks his tongue out of the side of his mouth, the

 

way he does During spelling tests.

 

*

 

“They go around in groups,” I tell him, “so they’ve got somebody to listen when

 

they think of things to say. Which is all the time. When they’re not together, they

 

used the phone.”

 

*

 

Gus is really into it now, clicking his pen and scribbling like mad in His

 

notebook.

 

*

 

“Basically, they’re weak,” I say. “And they’re looking for somebody strong. That’s were the two of us come in.”

 

*

 

I glance over at Gus. “Okay, got that so far?” I ask.

 

*

 

“Right, Sammy,” he says. But I notice there’s a funny look on his face.

 

*

 

I check his notebook. At the top he’s scrawled a few words. Underneath that is a picture of a rocket ship taking off into space. The ship is black, the earth us green, the sky is blue, and the rocket flames are red. *

 

“This pen is great for rocket ships,” Says Gus.

 

*

 

I shake my head. “Let’s try a new topic, huh?”

 

*

 

“Should I still take notes?”

 

*

 

“Yeah, but you might want to start a new page. We’re going to call this ‘Tips for impre

 

ssing women’.”

 

*

 

“Right,” says Gus. He bends over his notebook again. For all I know, he’s drawing

 

a picture of Donald duck.

 

*

 

“Okay, number one,” I say. “Never carry an umbrella. It’s a sign of weakness.”

 

*

 

“Wow, I never knew that.”

 

*

 

“Number two. Always use an after – shave , even if you don’t shave.”

 

*

 

Gus sniffs in my direction. “So that’s what that smell is.”

 

*

 

“Number three. Never say ‘I don’t know.’ ”

 

*

 

“What if you don’t know?”

 

*

 

“Pretend you do, I tell him. ” Number four. Talk in a low, soft voice of love. Women go Nuts over it.”

 

*

 

“What does it sound like?”

 

*

 

“I’ll do it for you later. I don’t want any women bothering me right now. Number five, and this is the most important one of all Dare to be different.”

 

*

 

“You mean wear a suit like you do?”

 

*

 

“Gus, that wouldn’t be different. That would be the same.”

 

*

 

“Then how do I know what to do?.” He asks.

 

*

 

“It’s up to you. That’s the whole point.” I clap him on the shoulder. “Relax. You can think of something later. In the meantime, we gave a survey to do.” *

 

We wander around the cafeteria, looking at different women. I tell Gus to write down anything about them that might be important, such as stuff that would drive you crazy.

 

For instance, Marsha Brennaman looks fine but has a habit of picking her ear with a paper clip. Debbie waters seems great until she laughs, and then she snorts like a pig.

 

Of course, we’re careful not to be so obvious. When I spot a woman, I don’t point or anything like that. I just kind of tilt my head in her direction so Gus can see who I’m looking at. When i tell him something, I talk out of the corner of my mouth.

 

As we get to the back of the cafeteria, I see two women I don’t recognize. I figure they must be new. One of them was brownish hair and freckles and is almost as skinny as Gus. But she’s not the one I’m looking at. It’s her friend I’m interested in.

 

She’s the most gorgeous woman I’ve ever seen.

 

She looks fourteen or fifteen at least, even though I know she could only be in the sixth grade. She’s Tall, with all the equipment to match, so at first I think maybe she flunked a grade or two. Then I look at her eyes, which shine like a couple of blue spotlights, and I know she’s too smart for that. Her hair is gold and curls over her shoulders. She’s got a on a white blouse and green skirt that look kind of plain, but there’s something classy about the way she wears them. While I watch, she pushes her hair back behind on ear and smiles. Suddenly, the whole area brightens up, like when you clean off your car windshield with one of those rubber

 

 

squeegees. I could stand there forever and just look at her. The only problem is, she’s looking at me.

 

I reach over and grab Gus’s notebook and pen. I look up at the ceiling and start pointing to it and pretending to talk to Gus. *

 

“What are you doing?” He says.

 

*

 

“Just nod and smile,” I tell him out of the corner of my mouth.

 

*

 

I start to jot down something in the notebook as part of my act, but there’s a huge red, blue, green, and black dragon covering the whole page. I stick the end of the pen in my mouth and study the dragon like it’s some kind of report on the building.

 

*

 

“Hey, don’t chew on my pen,” Gus says. “You might have germs.”

 

*

 

“Yes, of course, I see,” says Gus in a loud voice.

 

*

 

“You see what?” He asks.

 

*

 

I close the notebook, grab Gus by his scrawny arm, and lead him off. When we’re

 

a safe distance away, I look back at the woman. She’s talking to her friend. Thanks

 

to some quick thinking on my part, she probably Figures we’re student architects or

 

something.

 

*

 

Suddenly I feel great. “Come on,” I say, “let’s go and get a candy bar.”

 

*

 

“What about the survey?” Asks Gus.

 

*

 

“It’s finished.”

 

*

 

That Afternoon, I quietly ask around and and find out some key facts about the woman. It turns out her name is Becky Davidson and she’s in Mr Lawrence’s sixth grade class. She’s smart and she loves to read. She works in the library after school a couple of days a week, along with her skinny friend Alice Biddle. *

 

“Perfect,” I say to Gus a

 

fter the three o’ clock bell.

 

*

 

“How can you say that? I flunked the arithmetic test.”

 

*

 

“Gus, I’m talking about women, not a few lousy maths problems. Okay, we’ve planned out strategy and identified our target.” *

 

“You mean that great big girl? What if she decides to beat us up?”

 

*

 

“Get ahold of yourself, Gus. Now, the next step is to set up a meeting, but to make sure it seems accidental. The whole idea is to have her notice you before you supposedly notice her. Then, when you see she’s watching, you give her the Eye.”

 

*

 

“The Eye?”

 

*

 

“It’s a way of looking at a woman to show how sensitive and sincere you are.”

 

*

 

“Wow,” he says, do you think I could do it?”

 

*

 

“You’d better just watch me this time,” I tell him.

 

*

 

We walk into the library. Just like I was hoping, there’s Becky Davidson. She and her friend have one of those metal carts and are putting books back on the shelf.

 

I position myself down the aisle, where I take a book of the shelf and thumb through it. Gus Does the same thing a few feet away, only he hasn’t noticed that

 

His book was upside down. I want to say something to him but decided not to risk it.

 

I notice that Becky Davidson and her Friend are whispering. I can’t hear what they are saying, but they seem all giggly and excited. Good sign. I check out the corner of my eye and see that they’re looking in my direction. I decide this is the moment. I toss Gus a wink, then I turn toward Beck Davidson and give her the Eye.

 

I’ve seen Nick do it a million times, so it’s almost like second nature to me. I kind of smile, but only with on side of my mouth. I let my eyelids droop, like I’m sleepy or something. Also, I flare my nostrils.

 

I can tell it’s having an effect because her eyes open wide and she stops giggling.

 

She just stares at me for a long time.

 

*

 

Are you alright?” she says.

 

*

 

Never felt better.” I tell her.

 

*

 

“You looked like you were going to pass out for a minute there.”

 

*

 

A sense of humor – I love it. Figuring I’m on a roll, I say, “I’m looking for a book. You may have heard of it. I think it’s about war and peace.”

 

*

 

“You mean War and peace?”

 

*

 

“Right. Do you know the name of it?”

 

*

 

“That is the name of it,” she says. “It’s by Tolstoy.”

 

*

 

I shake my head. “Must be another book. This in head a snappier title. When you read as many books as I do, it’s hard to keep track of them all.”

 

*

 

“Oh really?” Says her skinny friend Alice, who’s standing right behind her. “What’s the last one you read?”

 

*

 

I desperately try to remember the name of any book in the world. “Let’s see,” I say finally, “I think it was Lifestyles of the rich and famous.”

 

*

 

“That’s a great book, all right,” says Alice. “I liked it almost as much as the ‘General hospital.”

 

*

 

“Yeah that one was good, too,” I say. I turn back to Becky. “By the way, I’m Sammy Carducci.”

 

*

 

“I’m Becky Davidson,” she says. “This is my friend Alice Biddle.”

 

*

 

I shake Alice’s hand, which catches her by surprise. Then I do something that amazes even me. When Becky holds her out her hand, I kiss it, like I’m a knight In some king Arthur movie.

 

 

I’m not sure why I did it. It’s not something I planned. But I do know that it feels good. Her skin is soft and warm, and I get a whiff of something that smells like flowers. I look up at her and see that her cheeks have turned pink. *

 

Ooh, gross,” Says Alice. “Here’s my handkerchief, Becky.”

 

*

 

“That’s okay,” Says Becky, smiling. Obviously, she’s fallen for the old Carducci charm.

 

*

 

Feeling good, I put my hands in my pocket and casually Lean back against the nearest object. Unfortunately, its the book cart. I feel it start to roll backward. I try to get my hands free, but it’s too late. Books go flying everywhere, and I hit the floor with a thud. Gus appears at my did to help me up. I brush him off and pop right back up.

 

*

 

“No problem, no problem,” I say.

 

*

 

“Is this guy a friend of yours?” Alice asks me, looking at Gus suspiciously.

 

*

 

I tug at my lapels. “Hey, what do you know, it’s

 

My buddy Gus. I guess he just happened to be nearby reading a book.”

 

*

 

“He reads upside down?” She says.

 

*

 

I hear a noise and glance up to see Mrs Stanford, the librarian. She usually smiles

 

a lot, but today she looks kind of sad. Shaking her head, she says, Girls, I’m

 

disappointed in you.”

 

*

 

“It wasn’t our fault,” says Alice. “These two creeps were bothering us.”

 

*

 

Becky starts to say something, but I speak up first. “Alice is right, Mrs Stanford.

 

It was our fault. Totally.”

 

*

 

“It was?” Says Gus. “Oh yeah, it was.”

 

*

 

Mrs Stanford looks back and forth at Gus and me.

 

*

 

“Maybe you two boys should go on home. Remember, these girls have a job to

 

do.”

 

*

 

As we go out the door, I glance over my shoulder and see that Becky Davidson is

 

looking at me. Our eyes meet for a second. Then I turn and follow Gus into the

 

hall.

 

*

 

~~TBC~~

 

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