The Short Lover Boy – Episode 9
~THE SHORT LOVER BOY~
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By: Authoress Sharon ~ Ronnie✨✨
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~CHAPTER NINE~
~THE FREEZE~
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~SAMMY’S POV~
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Get a load of this. The day after the big family dinner, Gus informs me he wants to go shopping, which is nothing unusual. Then he tells me what it’s for.
A present for Alice Biddle.
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“I’m getting ready to make my move,” he says.
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I can hardly believe this is my friend Gus Gaffeny talking. He sounds like a
whole new man.
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“That’s great!” I tell him. “You gonna get perfume?”
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He shakes his head. “Perfume’s okay if they don’t hate you. I need something better
than that. Something really incredible.”
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“Like what?”
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“I’m not sure,” he says, “but I’ll know it when I see it.”
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Then he tells me where he wants to shop. I can’t believe my ears. “The mall? That place is the pits. Let’s go down to second Avenue.” .
“There aren’t enough stores. Come in Sammy, please?”
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He gives me such a pathetic look that I finally give in, against my better
judgement.
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“Okay,” I tell him, “but if we turn into zombies, it’s your fault.”
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When we get to the mall, we start on the bottom level and go down the row of
stores, stopping in every one of them to see if anything hits Gus right. He even
goes in the paint store.
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“What could you get here?” I ask.
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“I don’t know. Brushes, putty, a gallon of paint. You can never tell when something’s going to jump out at you.” .
“It better not jump out on my suit,” I tell him.
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Halfway down the third row of stores, I’m starting to wonder if he’ll ever find
anything.
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“Plenty of perfume,” I point out as we cruise through a drugstore. “Too bad the
bottles are so little.”
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When we duck into the next store, Gus starts jumping up and down and clapping
his hands.
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“This is it!” He says in a squealy voice.
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“Geez, Gus try to control yourself.” I look around to make sure nobody I know is
watching.
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“It’s perfect!”
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I don’t know how perfect it is, but I’m glad to see Gus following one of my tips:
Dare to be Different.
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“Okay,” I ask him when we get to his house, “What are you going to say when you give this present to her?”
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“What do you mean?”
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“You can’t just walk up and dump it on her lap. You gotta have a conversation.”
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He gets this pinched look on his face. “My stomach hurts.”
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I put my arm around his shoulders. “Gus, there’s a very simple answer to your
problem.”
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“I know,” he says. “Tums.”
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“No, practice. That’s the secret of talking to women.”
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“Who am I going to practice on?”
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I give it some thought, then snap my fingers. “Of course. She’ll be perfect.”
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Which is how we end up offering Gus’s seven – year – old sister a dollar to pretend
she’s Alice Biddle.
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“Hurry up, okay?” Says Gretchen. “My favourite TV show comes on pretty soon.
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“Okay,” Gus asks me, “What do I do?”
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“The important thing to remember is, you want to make a good first impression. ”
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“I can put on some of my dad’s after – Shave,” he says, starting down the hallway.
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“I’m telling,” Gretchen calls out after him.
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“That’s all right, Gus,” I say. “It’s probably better to use the magnetic force of your
personality.”
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“I tried that at the dance. I even gave her the Eye. You saw what happened.”
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“Okay, so we need a new approach. Tell her some amazing facts. That always
starts things off on a good note.”
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“I don’t know any amazing facts,” he says.
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“Here’s one.” I whisper it in his ear.
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Gus turns to his sister. “Did you know there was a man in Butte, Montana, who
built a car out of sardine cans?”
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“I hate sardines.”
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I whisper another amazing fact to Gus.
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“Toy poodles are alien monsters from outer space,” he tells his sister.
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“Are we done yet?” She asks.
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I’m worried we’re losing her, so I say to Gus, “Time to bring out the big guns.
Mainly, the voice of love.”
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“Is this the one that drives women nuts?”
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“Guaranteed. Okay, when you hear me talk again, It’ll be the voice of love.”
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I close my eyes
and massage the sides of my necks with my fingers; then I push my chin down
into my chest. I try to picture Nick with his arm around Cindy, talking about his
Grand Am.
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“Alice,” I say, “you’re very beautiful.”
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“How’d you do that?” Asks Gus. “You sound like Artie Mayfield at Summer camp.
He had an operation on his throat.”
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“Look, you want me to help you or not?” I say. “This thing works, trust me.”
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“Sure, Sammy, sure.” Gus rubs his neck and lowers his chin. “Alice, you’re very
beautiful.”
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“Can I go now?” Gretchen asks.
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I slap Gus on the back. “That was perfect. From now on, you’re a dangerous
man.”
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Gus beams. I peel off a dollar bill and hand it to Gretchen. “Go buy yourself something nice, sweetheart.”
✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Friday after school we ride our bikes over to Alice’s street. I hide behind a tree, and Gus waits for Alice to come home from her job at the library. Sure enough, about four o’ clock she turns the corner. Gus meets up with her right in front of my tree. So far, so good. Everything’s going like clockwork. .
“Uh, Alice —-” Gus says in this trembly voice. He’s holding the gift behind his
back so she can’t see it.
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“You little sneak,” says Alice. “Have you been hanging around my house?”
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I can tell it throws Gus off. “Toy poodles are aliens from outer space,” he says, falling back on amazing facts.
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“You better get off this block,” says Alice. “And for, your information, my mother
and I own a poodle.”
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Gus quickly massages his neck and puts his chin down on his chest, but Alice
pushes past him.
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“Hey, wait!” Gus says in the voice of love. It comes out sounding more like a seal barking. When she doesn’t stop, he pulls out the gift. It’s a shoebox with a ribbon tied around it and holes punched in the side. “I brought something for you.” .
Alice turns around and says, “What’s that?” She’s suddenly looking friendlier
which gives Gus a boost.
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“Oh, just a little present.”
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As she takes it, Gus grins. He glances over at me, and I give him the thumbs – up. Alice stops for a second before opening the present, like she’s wondering what she’s getting herself into. Then she shrugs and tears off the ribbon. .
“I wanted to get you something special,” says Gus.
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“When I saw this, I knew it was perfect.”
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She takes offs the top and peeks inside. Her jaw drops open as she looks at the
gift we searched and searched for at the mall, the one that jumped out at us when
we walked into the store.
It’s a lizard.
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“I named it Alice,” says Gus proudly.
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Meanwhile, the real Alice just stares. I get the feeling she doesn’t hear a word of
what Gus is saying.
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“The man at the pet store said it’s easy to take care of,” Gus babbles happily. “It’s
got it’s own little leash and —”
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Alice screams. Snapping out of her trance, she drops the box on the ground and runs around the area in little circles, shaking her hands. .
The lizard jumps from the box and takes off down the sidewalk. Gus scrambles
after it, calling, “Alice, here, Alice.”
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I poke my head out from behind the tree to get a better view of the action.
Unfortunately, Alice picks that moment to glance over in my direction.
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“You little pervert!” She says. “You think this is funny, don’t you?”
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It hits me that I’m grinning like a madman. I try to wipe the smile off my faces, but it keeps springing back.
Alice walks toward me with her finger pointed like a loaded gun. “I bet you
planned this whole thing. You couldn’t wait to see what I’d do when I opened the
package.”
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“Alice, you got me all wrong.”
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“You think you’re a big shot,” She says, “but the closest you ever got was when
you went out with Becky. And that’s never going to happen again because now
she’s dating a real big shot. His name is kevin Reynolds, and he goes to Brentwood
Prep.”
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I guess I stop grinning, because she smiles. Then she puts her nose in the air and
walks off.
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Just a
bout that time Gus comes racing back, holding lizard high in triumph. “I’ve decided to keep it,” he says. “Only I’m renaming it Godzilla.” .
I can’t share this moment of happiness because I’m thinking about this so – called big shot kevin Reynolds. I wonder if Becky really is dating him.
Finally I decide that’s ridiculous. Alice is trying to make me mad. If Becky’s going out with somebody else, she would tell me.
It turns out Gus’s mom doesn’t want anything named Godzilla running around her house, and she tells Gus to return it. On Saturday, we go to the pet shop, where I’m a little surprised the owner agrees to take back a used lizard. Then Gus drags me around the mall again, looking for more stuff to buy. After an hour or so, I can’t stand it anymore. My feet are tired and my Throat’s dry from breathing zombie air. .
“Is there anyplace we can get something to drink in this dump?” I ask him.
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“Sure. Come on.”
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We head over toward a bunch of tables surrounded by little food stands. We’re standing in line when Gus points to a table across the way.
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“Hey, isn’t that Becky?”
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At first her back is to us, so I can’t tell for sure. Then she turns so we can see the side of her face.
It’s Becky, all right. And she’s sitting across from a guy wearing a Brentwood Prep Letterman’s jacket.
As I stare in shock, the guy smiles at her and she smiles back. I want to punch out his beautiful teeth, but I manage to control myself. Lucky for him. .
“It’s her,” says Gus. “Hey, B —-”
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I clamp my hand over his mouth. “Let’s watch them for a minute.”
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They talk a little bit longer, then get up from the table and walk over to the elevator. They get in, and the doors close behind them. .
“Quick!” I say to Gus. We dodge through the tables, and when we reach the elevator, I pound the button with my fist. A green arrow lights up. Half a minute later, we’re still staring at the arrow. I look around and spot the escalator. We hurry over and race down the moving stairs, bumping people as we go. .
“Medical emergency,” I tell the people. I’m not sure they buy it.
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On the next level down, we go to the elevator but don’t see Becky or the guy. We split up and search the mall for the next ten minutes, checking both levels and the parking garage. There’s no sign of them. .
“Let’s get out of here,” I tell Gus. “I hate this stupid place.”
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At home that night I try to watch TV, but all I can see is a picture of Becky and El Creepo sitting at that table, grinning at each other like a couple of snaps.
Nick comes in and wants to watch a detective show. I tell him sure. I figure it Doesn’t matter, since I’ll see the same picture on every channel. .
“How’s it going with Cindy?” I ask him.
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“What do you care?” He says, staring at the tube.
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“Nick, you’re my man. What happens to you happens to me.”
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He watches an undercover cop kick in a door and spray a warehouse with
bullets.
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“She kept dropping hints about marriage and kids. It was getting on my nerves. I
told her to give it a rest.”
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“Wow, really straightened her out, huh?”
The cop collars a drug dealer and drags him out of the warehouse. “You gotta stay in control of the situation, Sammy. If something’s bothering you, you don’t sit around crying about it. You just do what needs to do. Period.” .
“So what are you going to do?” He asks.
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“She’s left me no choice. It’s time to use the Freeze.”
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“What’s that?”
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“The most deadly weapon a man can use on a woman. She’s going to regret ever
setting eyes on that jerk.”
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Gus stares at me in awe.
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“Of course,” I go on, “that’s just phase one. Phase two is observation. That means checking up on her to see the devastating effect of the freeze.” .
“How do we do that?”
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“Follow her.”
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“This is so cool,” says Gus.
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“Stick around,” I tell him. “It could get interesting.”
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TBC
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More interesting stories available
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~THE SHORT LOVER BOY~
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