Solitude – Episode 41

 

 

SOLITUDE

 

_41_

 

Karma forgets no one’s address.

 

Chanda had spent a night by my place and I must say what I thought would be awkward turned out to be the opposite, after crying, kissing and making up we decided to do something fun together. We had game night, it was her suggestion by the way. This is something that I had never done in my life and so when she suggested it I was a little skeptical.

 

We started from solitaire, moved to 30 seconds charades, monopoly, scrabble and lastly chess which had us thinking really hard and when we both exhausted our minds we decided to call it a night.

 

But surprisingly when we went to bed we decided to talk, it was fun. I have never had a female friend my age except Chileshe who I always had around. She told me about her childhood growing up, her fears, her joys. The many trips she took, it was fun and I could see that despite everything she had good memories that I was so sure she would share with her child.

 

I got to tell her about my growing up, it felt different retelling my story and I was glad that now I wasn’t as affected when I shared it with her. It was actually refreshing to live through those moments once again. Then she told me how she didn’t want a female child, for reasons she wasn’t quite sure of but she told me she

 

 

preferred male children and told me her baby’s name would be Bentley. Said she knew a boy back in kindergarten who had that name and she was crazy about it. We couldn’t help but laugh about that, crazy but cute.

 

Then I opened up about how I have never opened up my heart to anyone, how in the past I have pushed men away and never been with anyone because I have always been scared of getting hurt. Then shock hit her when I told her I was still a virgin, she moved from surprise to shock to envy and then to asking numerous questions about how I have been able to deal with my hormones. Honestly it hasn’t been the easiest road but again I have always felt that if I do give myself to someone it should be someone I would be able to look at the following morning without regrets.

 

There after she told me about her numerous sex encounters, Chanda is a fun person. She has this side of her that is wild and I can bet even behind closed doors she is like that. And surprisingly she has only been with Chibesa and August, she isn’t so bad after all.

 

I only woke up after 9, that’s so unusual of me but I don’t blame myself after sleeping at 3 in the morning. I cleaned the house and washed some clothes that were in the laundry basket before taking a bath, Chanda had invaded my kitchen when I was done. She reminded me of August and his love for cooking.

 

‘Sit your ass down I am cooking.’ She said and I smiled

 

‘You are really going to bully me huh?’ I ask

 

She laughs warmly

 

She comes to where I am and places a plate, then kisses my cheek.

 

‘Good morning sleepy head.’

 

‘Good morning bana Bentley.’ I say and I watch her face melt into a beautiful smile

 

 

‘You should see yourself right now.’ I tease and she covers her face still smiling like a fool

 

‘How was your night?’ She asks going back to the cooker ‘It was beautiful, I slept like a baby.’

 

‘And snored like a tractor.’ She says rolling her eyes ‘I don’t snore.’ I argue

 

She grabs her phone and plays a recording ‘Jesus you recorded me in my sleep?’

 

‘I knew you would argue and you know me, I hate losing.’ ‘The truth in that.’ I say before laughing

 

She comes to where I am and places a pancake on my plate, some crumbled eggs, a Vienna, bacon and mushrooms. Then places a hot cup of coffee and another of juice.

 

‘You are welcome.’ She says laughing

 

‘You are so full of your self sister.’ I say with a chuckle She looks at me tears in her eyes

 

‘Chanda are you okay?’

 

‘You called me sister Nella.’

 

‘You don’t like it?’ I ask worriedly

 

‘I love it.’ She says and I open my arms then she comes close and we embrace

 

‘Am I allowed to say that I love you?’ She asks

 

‘Nop.’ I respond and we both laugh

 

She places food on her plate then sits just opposite me

 

We say grace then dig into our food and I must confess she is a pretty

 

good cook.

 

‘I did a lot of thinking last night.’ She begins

 

‘About what exactly?’

 

‘My life, my future.’ She says with a sigh

 

‘What about it?’ I ask cleaning my mouth with a napkin

 

‘Nella I am going to be a mother in a few months, and I don’t think I want my child to grow up in a messed up environment.’

 

‘I don’t get it.’

 

‘You know I am going to jail right?’

 

I keep quiet swallowing really hard, honestly I thought about it and I have been thinking about ways of bailing her out of this but I just don’t know if I will be able to.

 

‘Nella.’

 

I look at her.

 

‘Don’t do this to yourself.’ She says stretching her hand and I hold it, our fingers touching

 

 

‘You have been good to me and I could never repay you for your kindness and just your being there for me when I needed you the most. Nella you have done for me more than anyone in my entire life has done – you offered me a shoulder to cry on at my bleakest point.’

 

‘Anyone could have done the same in my shoes.’

 

‘But you are not anyone.’

 

I put my fork down, losing my appetite.

 

‘We will find a way of doing this Chanda, somehow we shall talk to Mr. Nakamba and we can work out a deal.’

 

She shakes her head

 

‘Chanda.’

 

‘Nella you don’t make deals with the devil, that is selling your soul. That is exactly what I did when I decided to seek help from that man, I should have known better but I was hungry for power. I wanted to be better than you.’

 

‘It’s all in the past.’

 

‘But I need to pay for my mistakes.’

 

‘How much is involved?’

 

‘Nella.’

 

‘Chanda how much money are we talking about?’

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She shakes her head with a smile then tightens her grip on my hand

 

‘I am turning myself in.’