Solitude – Episode 39

 

SOLITUDE

 

_39_

 

I sit here trying to take in everything that Chanda has just told me, I feel for her. Really I do and even though I want to say how she turned out is entirely up to her but I strongly feel that Chileshe might have laid down a very poor foundation for her daughter hence how she turned out.

 

I leave Sandy’s an hour after Chanda has left; I have grabbed some take away food and plan on eating it from home.

 

 

Thirty minutes later I am home and I find August waiting for me, he is really getting used to this and now it is no longer surprising me.

 

‘Good.’ I look at my watch

 

‘Good afternoon Mr. Cochrane.’ I say getting out of the vehicle ‘Good afternoon Ms. Mphanda.’ He says exposing his teeth in a smile ‘What do I owe this visit?’

 

‘Is it wrong for me to come and see you?’ he asks I look at him without a word.

 

I lead us to the house and he follows me behind. ‘You are welcome.’ I say closing the door behind him ‘Thank you.’ He responds

 

‘Let me just change into something comfortable.’

 

I go to my room and change into leggings with a baggy t shirt. ‘Want something to eat?’ I ask going straight to warm the food ‘I had something on my way here.’ He says

 

The food is warm and I put it on two separate plates then hand him one. ‘But.’

 

‘You have a huge appetite August, just eat.’ I say He smiles then takes the plate

 

 

I switch on the T.V and put bad teacher, I did not finish it the previous night. ‘Chanda just told me that the marriage is fake.’

 

I sigh putting my folk down

 

‘And?’

 

He puts his down too

 

‘I feel like I have been played.’ He says and I note the hint of hurt in his voice ‘I am sorry to hear that.’ I say honestly

 

He sighs deeply

 

‘This is nice.’

 

‘Thank you, and no I didn’t cook.’

 

He laughs

 

‘As if you would.’

 

We laugh

 

‘So you guys are getting divorced?’

 

‘We were never married in the first place. I plan on leaving the country, I need to breath.’

 

I swallow hard.

 

‘You will be alright.’

 

‘I know I will, it just felt nice having you around you know.’

 

 

He looks at me then smiles genuinely.

 

‘I will miss you too, I just need to find myself again.’ He says

 

‘I understand and we all need that one vacation hey.’

 

‘So when do you plan on leaving?’

 

‘I will drop my resignation letter first thing Monday morning.’

 

‘You know you can just take leave right?’

 

‘I don’t think so, I am sure I won’t be coming back.’

 

‘August.’

 

‘Nella you have been the best boss that any employee can have and I would love to stay here for as long as I can but my life has taken a turn that no matter what will never be the same again.’

 

‘It’s because she cheated?’ I ask

 

He opens his mouth to say something but he closes it

 

‘Nella there is something about a cheating partner that leaves you wounded, you will never be the same again. You are left cracked, you are left open, and you become vulnerable. You are turned into the person that you have never imagined to be. I loved Chanda, I love Chanda and even though I am trying so hard to protect her dignity I know one thing for sure is that I will never look at her the same.’

 

‘I am sorry.’

 

‘Don’t be.’

 

‘Take all the time you need, I am sure you will be okay.’

 

‘I know I will be.’

 

‘And it is okay to let yourself go, I know the woman that you are going to end up with some day will be very lucky. You are a good man August.’

 

‘I must say the same about you, you need to open up to love Nella. You can’t be alone forever.’

 

I smile.

 

‘Don’t shut yourself from me hey.’

 

‘I wouldn’t.’ he says

 

The rest of the afternoon we watch different movies together until I doze off lying on his laps.

 

*

 

I am by the clinic seeing my doctor when I spot Chibesa and Katai. August has finally left the country and from what I gathered these two will be wedding in a few days, I haven’t called Chibesa. I haven’t caused any drama, I am surprisingly calm it scares me.

 

‘Ms. Chanda.’ The nurse says leading me to the waiting room

 

The doctor is not yet here so I have to wait and like fate has it, the couple is directed to sit opposite where I am.

 

Chibesa looks at me, then at his feet. Katai pretends as if she hasn’t seen me, or maybe she hasn’t.

 

‘How are you?’ I say to him

 

‘I am well how are you?’ he responds looking at my baby bump which is now visible.

 

‘Katai how are you?’

 

 

‘I am well Chanda how are you.’ She responds calmly

 

Silence

 

‘So you are marrying?’ I ask

 

Chibesa looks at me as if I have picked a wrong topic

 

‘Yes, the wedding is in a few days.’

 

‘Two.’ I tell him and he just smiles

 

‘I didn’t get a card?’ I say looking at Katai.

 

‘You know you really don’t have to pretend like you like me right?’

 

‘It was just a question.’

 

‘Honey you have no business talking to me, I am not your friend. He is your business, talk to him.’ She says pointing at Chibesa

 

‘You think you have won right?’

 

She locks her phone which she has been pressing all this while and looks at me.

 

‘What makes you think that we were in a competition? That we are in a competition?’

 

‘You might have him wrapped around your finger but trust me not even a baby can make a man stay with you, Chibesa loves me and eventually he will leave you.’

 

‘And the kettle is calling the pot black right?’ she fires back

 

‘Chibesa I know you love me, I know something is totally wrong and I won’t just sit back and allow this woman to destroy everything that we have built.’

 

 

‘Chanda you cannot break what is already broken.’ He responds, speaking for the first time

 

‘What is that supposed to mean?’

 

‘We were never supposed to happen, I will take full responsibility of the baby but we can’t be together.’

 

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@ generalloaded.com (TOPSTER STORIES) I laugh, out of pain.

 

‘You are not joking are you?’ I ask

 

‘Ma’am your doctor is ready to see you.’ A nurse says looking at Katai and Chibesa

 

He stands walking into the room but Katai stops just where I am.

 

‘Do you know what makes you so different from me?’

 

I stare at her wordlessly

 

‘I am a far much better lover to Chibesa.’

 

I laugh thinking about all our erotic moments and how he always screams out my name

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‘No I am not talking about sex Chanda, I am not talking about the empty I love yous. I am talking about genuinely caring about someone, I am talking about making their problems your own, looking out for them, building a friendship. Yes I might have gotten him by the neck but trust me he is happy and we will be happy to raise your child.’ She says with a smile then walks away leaving me in tears