Solitude – Episode 34

SOLITUDE

 

_34_

 

Chanda

 

I have woken up earlier than usual, I am a little jittery because I keep thinking something might go wrong at the launch but then again all the documentation shows that we are in the right direction and I know the Nakambas would never do anything to play me – besides they are too smart for that.

 

I look at August’s sleeping form, for the first time since we got married he has slept peacefully. This is another reason to make me worry because why would he find sleep today out of all days. I sigh, I haven’t stopped loving him despite my body yearning for Chibesa almost all the time who I have been sleeping with any chance I get. August is perfect for appearance, he is smart, learned, dresses well and very attractive. We makes heads turn when we are together and when we work we are a winning team.

 

My phone rings, it’s the person in charge of deco at the firm.

 

‘Good morning ma’am.’ She says on the other end of the line

 

‘It’s five in the morning.’ I say between glittered teeth

 

 

‘And I am sorry for..’

 

‘What do you want?’ I ask cutting her off

 

I can almost hear her gasp and I feel sorry for her but I am paying her huge money to be disturbing me this early.

 

‘I wanted to find out if you would like red or maroon for the centre pieces.’

 

I almost laugh, not amused but irritated and disappointed.

 

‘Ma’am are you there?’

 

‘What’s your name again?’ I ask angrily

 

‘Ingrid ma’am.’

 

‘I hope this is the last time I do business with you because I clearly stated in our contract that I wanted red so why in God’s name would you be asking me about maroon? At 5 in the morning?’ I yell

 

‘Ma’am.’

 

‘Don’t you ma’am me.’ I say cutting the line

 

‘God she is so incompetent.’

 

‘If i were her I would put black centerpieces.’ I hear August say

 

I just roll my eyes, I am not in the mood for his drama or anyone else’s drama for that matter.

 

I call a few people that are in charge of putting things at the firm before touching the bathroom. When done I take a mango smoothie, thank God they are in season and now we can have them in abundance.

 

It’s like time is not moving, 7PM seems so far away and I can’t hold on any longer.

 

‘I am heading out.’ I say to August who is now by the dinning room having his muesli

 

‘August I said I am going out.’

 

‘I heard you the first time.’ He says

 

‘Then why won’t you respond?’

 

‘Chanda I am just trying to have my breakfast, are you honestly going to yell at everyone this morning?’

 

‘I am not yelling.’ I yell

 

‘Okay.’

 

‘August!’

 

‘What?’ He says calmly making me more upset

 

‘You are supposed to be supportive, you know how much this means to me. As my husband you are supposed to be the one to run around with me.’

 

‘Your husband?’

 

‘Yes my husband.’

 

He laughs

 

‘Husband on paper yes.’

 

‘You know you have to be good to me if you want a divorce right?’

 

‘I could just murder you.’ He says looking into my eyes and that sends a cold chill down my spine

 

 

‘Don’t worry sweetheart I have a heart unlike you.’ He says putting his plate in the sink

 

I roll my eyes

 

‘August can we at least try to live like civilized people?’

 

‘Okay.’

 

‘August!’

 

‘Chanda just shut up.’ He yells and I am taken back

 

‘Why do you keep insisting on us living like civilized people when that is exactly what we have been doing? How much more can civilized get?’

 

‘I just want us to be happy?’

 

‘You have misplaced your priorities, it is not your duty to make me happy. Neither is it mine.’ He says

 

I open my mouth to say something but close it.

 

‘Good girl.’ He says kissing my cheek

 

I watch as he walks away and I want to cuss but my phone rings, without even checking who is calling I pick up.

 

‘Hey baby.’

 

I sigh

 

‘Chibesa.’

 

‘It’s that husband of yours not so?’

 

‘What do you want?’

 

‘What is wrong with me checking on my lady?’

 

‘Chibesa please.’

 

‘I am outside.’ He says cutting the line

 

I sigh deeply walking outside and yes he is there waiting for me

 

‘Chanda the faster you accept that you are mine the better for the both of us, we had a deal and you have to meet your end.’ He says touching me by the waist

 

‘I know that already.’ I say trying to push him off but he holds me even tighter

 

‘Chibesa you are hurting me.’

 

‘I know and I will make it worse if you don’t do what I tell you.’

 

‘What do you want?’

 

He smiles wickedly

 

‘Good.’ He says now massaging where he has hurt me

 

‘After we launch the firm, you are burning those documents.’

 

‘Chibesa.’

 

‘You don’t want to upset me now, do you?’

 

I swallow hard, of late I have been having regrets about all this. I should have made the marriage fake maybe I could have had a way of coming out of it but no, Chibesa forced me into faking all this and I keep wondering how August hasn’t figured it out yet when he is a damn good lawyer.

 

 

He leaves me after planting a deep kiss on my lips then drives off, I can smell the garlic in my mouth and I feel my stomach getting sick. So I rush to the bathroom inside the house to puke.

 

August is standing by the bathroom door when I am done, he hands me a towel to wipe my mouth with.

 

‘Thank you.’

 

‘Are you okay?’

 

‘I guess.’ I say trying not to fight with him

 

‘Get checked.’

 

‘Am sure it’s just anxiety.’

 

‘Anxiety when your bosom is twice it’s original size, when your appetite is bigger and your skin is pale.’

 

‘August what are you saying?’

 

‘Get checked.’

 

‘I can’t be pregnant, I had my period..’ my voice trails off realizing I haven’t seen my period in two months

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‘No.’ I say shaking my head vigorously

 

‘You better tell him.’ August says

 

‘But.’

 

‘Chanda we haven’t had sex in four months, you can’t pin this on me.’ He says with triumph hands shoved in his pockets

 

‘Leave me alone.’ I scream

 

 

‘Whatever you say.’ He says