Solitude – Episode 13
SOLITUDE
_13_
‘You can choose to believe it or not, but the person you choose to do life with says so much about who you are.’
I see the little smile form at the corner of his lips and for a second I mistake it for genuine pleasure but this is August, the man who is dating my biggest enemy – as she chooses to call herself.
‘You don’t strike me as someone who has a strong backbone.’ He says
‘And what makes you think your opinion of me matters?’ I ask gaining composure
He chuckles
‘I am not your enemy Nella.’
‘Neither are you my friend, between us it is strictly business and I promise you that the next time you come here.’
He cuts me off by stepping in front of me
‘The next time what?’ he asks standing so close to me I can hear his soft breath
For a second there is silence between us, a deafening silence.
‘You are scared of me.’ He accuses
‘You are in my house uninvited; we are not exactly the best of friends. So, tell me again why I shouldn’t be scared of you.’
‘I am sorry Nella. I don’t know what I was thinking.’ He says stepping back
I look at him and he looks disturbed.
‘August why are you here?’ I ask
‘I don’t know.’
I sigh, now he looks harmless so I go and sit on one of the couches
‘Honestly I don’t know why I am here; I don’t know why I even thought of coming to your house uninvited when I could have just come to your office Monday morning and told you that I am okay with the proposal.’
I smile, so my little tough speech worked after all.
‘You can not cry over spilt milk; it has already been done.’
He sighs, then sits on the couch opposite from where I am sitting.
‘Honestly I feel privileged to work hand in hand with you.’
‘No, you are not.’
He smiles
‘Nella you are not my first client and honestly looking at the people I have worked with in the past; most of them would have been totally broken at what has happened the past few days.’
‘Just because I hide it well doesn’t mean I am not feeling it.’
He shakes his head
‘You are not hiding it.’
I look at him
‘That is what makes you different.’
‘Oh, so that is a good thing.’
He sighs with a smile
‘You have a lot of learning to do Nella, but let me assure you of one thing. You have got this. Only if you allow yourself to learn. There is a reason Mrs. Chanda left you the firm.’
‘About that.’
‘Don’t you dare doubt your capability, I am not big on Christianity but I know God can not give one anything that is bigger than them. Even Jonah made it out of the whale alive.’
‘What I am trying to say is that Chileshe saw something in you, something that you can not see yourself but she did and you should search within yourself to find out what that is.’
I shrug
‘Chanda is a pretty damn good lawyer.’ He says
‘So is Chibesa.’ I add
‘I don’t dispute that, Chanda is so good at her job she dreams and eats it. She will burn you alive if she chooses to.’
Worry registers on my face.
‘But I know within me even though it doesn’t make sense that Chileshe knew all this about her daughter and still she chose you.’ He says this touching the tip of my nose with his index finger
I smile
‘She loved you, didn’t she?’
‘Yes, she did.’ I say respond
‘Then best believe me, she knew what she was doing.’ He says on his feet
I stand up too
‘I am willing to work with you.’
‘Why does it sound like there is a condition.’
‘You are not dumb after all.’
‘Really?’ I ask and he laughs warmly
‘On condition that you are willing to learn Nella, we can only do this if we work together.’
‘I will burst my ass off if I have to, for Chileshe.’
‘Um um.’ He says shaking his head
‘What?’
‘Do what you can but don’t put your life and your happiness on the line, do this with all the joy in you. There is a certain glow and peace that comes with doing the job that you love, work shouldn’t be a toxic environment least it wears you off.’
‘I will try to.’
‘I know you can, who knows maybe that is what will set you apart?’ he asks with a sad smile
I don’t have to be a rocket scientist to figure out that he is comparing me and Chanda.
‘I should get going.’
‘But have you told Chanda about this?’
‘She is my woman, let me worry about that.’ He says
I don’t want to push further, honestly, I am glad that he has even agreed to work with me but anyone in my shoes would be worried about his ‘woman’.
I walk him to his car in silence, it feels awkward because one minute he was scaring the wits out of me and now we are okay.
‘I am sorry about earlier; I didn’t mean to scare you.’
‘Its fine.’ I respond with a smile
‘No, it is not Nella, grow a back bone. Don’t allow people to easily walk you over.’
I laugh
‘It is not even about allowing people to easily walk me over Mr. Cochrane.’
‘Then what is it?’
‘When you have walked the road that I have you learn certain truths that you can never learn if you are just an ordinary person.’
‘Like what exactly.’
‘It is not everything that needs your reaction or energy Mr. Cochrane, there is no accusation in silence. Learn to be quiet, besides you observe things better.’ I say with a smile
‘That is some food for thought
‘Feast on it.’ I say with a chuckle
‘See you on Monday Ms. Mpanda.’
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‘See you on Monday Mr. Cochrane.’ I say
I stand there and wait for him to drive off before getting back into the house, this day hasn’t entirely been bad after all. Some light at the end of the tunnel
