Secret Love – Episode 40

Chapter 40

 

 

Nwanne Ifeoma

 

 

I quietly went upstairs in search of Joe’s room,I was determine to see him this night.

 

I opened several doors but non was his. I heard a noise coming from a corner and I flushed.

 

“Geez, I thought everyone was asleep, who could that be I was afraid of being caught sneaking around, someone might think I want to steal something so I quickly hide and watch from my hiding spot to wait for whoever that was to pass but I saw it was Joe. He was holding a bottle of wine dragging himself back to his room.

 

He looks shabby and unkempt, have he being eating all these while. He drank directly from the bottle and walked back to his room muttering something I can’t hear.

 

I tipped toe to his door and I realized it was not locked and watch him from one end. He is miserable and suffering drowning himself in his sorrow until he finished the whole bottle and I saw many empty bottles scattered around his room.

 

Finally his room was quiet and I felt he was sleeping. Slowly I got in and the view I saw was horrible.

 

Broken bottles and cans of alcoholic beverages everywhere. His room was in a mess just like him and I saw him at the edge of his bed sleeping. It looks the alcohol finally knocked him out.

 

 

I got emotional seeing him in this condition, the Joe I know hardly drink but I put him in this condition. He is in this state because of me and nobody else.

 

I Drew close to him and sight a bin with puke inside and it looks he have being drinking in an empty stomach. The smell of alcohol fill the room as he burps.

 

I sighed staring at the effect I had on him, I have always push him away asking him to give me space but he is the one that needs a break from my madness and confused behaviour. I am the one that is driving him crazy and he is suffering greatly.

 

I took a deep breath and carried the bin to dispose and picked up all the empty bottles and trash it in a bag I found at a corner. I took my time to tidy his room which looks like a something that have not been cleaned in weeks. I wasn’t bother that it was night. It took me hours to clear his room and finally change him to a clean shirt that doesn’t smell alcohol.

 

Tears dropped from my eyes when I heard him continuously say my name in his sleep even at his drunken State he thinks of me and it hurts so much. How can he love me so much and I didn’t even realize how much he mean to me until now.

 

I didn’t realize I slept while leaning on his bedside until someone woke me up.

 

” I knew someone was in my room but was to drunk to notice.

 

I gradually open my eyes and I saw Joe looking at me furiously.

 

Who let you into my room….he asked me and I couldn’t give an answer .

 

Do you think this act you are putting up will help you.

 

Cleaning my room and acting like you care because I am not buying any of this.

 

He yelled at me and pulled me up from the floor.

 

Ella, get out of my room and life.

 

” You can’t continue hurting and messing with my emotions anytime you want.

 

“,It fine if don’t love me and I have to accept that but after the way you threw me out of your place and those words still hurt. Just get out and he pushed me out .

 

 

 

“I quickly grabbed his hands and finally spoke.

 

“, Joe you can’t throw me out of your life, not now and never because I am a mess without you.

 

“You have to believe me I am sorry for doubting you. I wasn’t thinking straight and could not make sense out of anything.

 

“Look at me, Joe please you are the only one I love and seeing you like this is hurting me.

 

“Shout at me, scream at you me and you can punish me anyway you like but don’t ask me to stay away from you. I broke down and cried.

 

Ella, I want to know do you think I will ever touch Emily and deny it. It clear that you don’t know me or Love me because if you do you would have realized that I only have eye for you since the first day I saw you. I loved you and believe me I know I have make mistake but I still love you but it looks I will always make a fool of myself around you because you don’t know how much it feels when the person you love dearly doesn’t trust your words.

 

Joe please don’t say I don’t love you, because I love you so much

 

Yes I have being betrayed by the people I trust, I know what it means to get hurt and broken. Kennedy is responsible for Emily’s pregnancy and Joe can’t you see I am hurting.

 

People always lie and play with my trust but I am sorry for not believing in you. Just give me another chance to show you how much I love you. Joe please let make us work and I can’t do it alone.

 

 

“So Ella because Kennedy and Emily betrayed you now you here because you think I am an option

 

“Just leave because I am not an option to you or dance to your music anymore.

 

Okay if staying away from you will make you happy I will sacrifice that but just want you to know that I will forever love you.

 

Goodbye Joe I said while walking towards the door and hopping he will call me back and stop me from leaving. I can’t stay away from him that is the truth and I could see I messed up big time and he is really upset with me.

 

“Ella, he called out to me and I turned quickly looking at him to hear him say don’t leave and I love you but those words never came out from his mouth. Rather he asked me to lock his door while I leave and ignore me while taking a sip of drink in his table.

 

I stood like a status and tears ran down my face. I felt invisible and empty. I lost him the only man that trusted and love me. Why did I ever compared him with Eric and called him those horrible name now he can’t even look at me anymore . It is over and I caused this it.

 

“Ma’am, you left your bag”

 

The young man handed my bag to me.

 

Thanks I said while collecting it from him.

 

Ma’am, you to rest and understand you tried your best.

 

I couldn’t say anything to him but walked into my car and cry my life out. He hate me now and I can’t handle the fact. I should have trusted him when he kept begging me to believe him. He is hurting and I know that but it all my fault. He thought I only came to him because Kennedy is not in my life anymore and I want to use him as an option which he is not.

 

“Ella, where have you being since last night?

 

 

“He hate me now Dad, he doesn’t love me anymore and it all my fault, I cried while hugging my dad that was standing in front of me.

 

“Oh, princess…it alright. He doesn’t hate you he is just angry.

 

“,No Dad, he doesn’t want me anymore and it all fault.

 

“Ella, you can’t give up on your love now.

 

What will I do, he is so angry at me and won’t forgive me.

 

Princess listen to me. You have to stop crying and think of how to win him back. You hurt him so much and he is hurting but you can’t stop trying in one go.

 

But I don’t know how to do that

 

Well you have to think outside the box and know what will make him believe you love him just as much he loves you. You have to show not just say it. Let your actions speak louder than your words and I promise he will come around.

 

My dad is my hero, Mom is lucky to marry a man like him, a good father and husband always willing and ready to help. His words are encouraging and meaningful. His right I can’t give up in one try. Did I expect it to be easy after what I did to him. He have being chasing me around and I was feeling too important now I realize how worth and I will make him see that as well. I went to my room to sleep.

 

Joe! ! I was surprised to see him

 

 

Hey babe he pulled me close to him and hugged me.

 

 

“, When did you get here I asked pulling away from him but he jerk me up and locked me in his arms. I went safe.

 

Babe let stay like this forever and never let go he whispered.

 

 

I love that I thought and we hug each other very tight and he he used his hands to trace around my face and just when he was about to kiss me.

 

 

Slowly and steady our lips met and just when we are about to kiss the annoying sound of my alarm woke me up and I realized it was a dream and Joe was never in my room

 

 

 

Secret love