I Will Wait – Episode 31

_31_

Mrs. Kazadi came forward and wiped her mouth, I noticed she did this with a tissue and a disposal glove on her hand. The tissue also had stains of blood on it. ‘Thank you.’ She said softly

‘Michael is a good man and he raised you a million times better than I would and his wife is the only mother that you have.’ She said

Hearing those words from her hurt more than I intended them to sound each time I uttered them.

‘I have your blood, you are my mother.’ I said

‘I gave birth to you, but I am far from being worthy to be called your mother.’ She said with a smile on her face

‘You are my mother.’ I cried

‘No I am not. The christening, the missed parental meetings at school, the missed teenage conversations. I was never your mother, a mother doesn’t do that to her child.’

At this point I was on my knees wishing she could stop talking. At this point I was taken back to all the moments I had wished she was around, the times I just wanted a mother figure in my life. I cried so hard I felt hands on my shoulders.

‘Hush my baby.’ She said trying to sound a little strong ‘I can’t lose you now that I have you, not again.’ ‘You never had me Yolanta, you never did.’

‘I held on just so I could tell you that if I was to do things differently I would still choose for you to be raised by your parents. They are good people.’

***

As the coffin was lowered in the soil and the preacher kept reciting the words ‘from dust we came, to dust we return’ I couldn’t hold back the tears. After her speech and making me understand that she was glad for the way my life had turned out, she asked me to read her my favorite bible verse.

I wasn’t much of a church person but I still knew my Psalms 91 because it had made me feel safe those nights when I was alone.

‘You will not fear the terror of the night, nor the arrow that flies by day, nor the pestilence that stalks in darkness, nor the destruction that wastes at noonday.’ She told me to continue reciting this verse until I felt her hand becoming cold ‘Ma’am can you get her another blanket, she is getting cold.’ I said when I turned to a tear soaked Mrs. Kazadi

She stood where she was without moving an inch.

‘Ma’am’. I repeated

‘She is gone.’ She said between sobs

‘What do you mean gone?’ I asked frightened

Minutes later the nurse walked in who did a visual scan and ran out to call the doctor, he appeared minutes later and we were asked to go outside. After a while she was wheeled out with the sheets covering her body, face and head inclusive.

I genuinely cried for losing her this time around, I cried because I felt she deserved a second chance. I was broken and I didn’t know if I could ever heal from what I was going through.

‘You need to go and say your tribute.’ Wane said waking me from my drift

I slowly stood with Mrs. Kazadi holding me on one side whilst Mum on the other. The walk to where she had been laid was the longest, my feet were heavy and I was just dragging them.

I opened the piece of paper that was in my hands, it was a bit wet with sweat and tears.

‘Quonnie.’ I paused as I felt a lump on my throat.

‘Twenty five years ago you left me and took a huge piece of my heart with you, the years that followed I hated you. I questioned your actions; questions like what sort of a mother would leave her child behind without thinking twice? As I grew older I just wanted to face you and tell you that I was doing just fine without you and I had turned out to be the total opposite of you, not that I meant it but because it made me feel better about myself.’ I paused

‘But three days ago against my wish I stood before you and realized that a coin always has two sides and one ought to find out about both of them before passing judgment. I didn’t know much about you but the conversation we had before your death I realized that you were a good woman after all, I pray you rest in peace my Quonnie.’ I said as I knelt down to place the white lilies that I had been given. The funeral proceedings ended just well and we all drove to her old house, it was just Myself, Wane, The Kazadis and their children, my parents, two neighbors, her ex-husband and her lawyer.

‘I am sorry about your lose but Madam Quonnie gave me strict instructions that her will be read immediately after her burial.’ Her lawyer said

‘With me is a list of assets that she left and they shall be divided as follows.’ ‘Sorry but Quonnie never worked and never had any properties.’ Her ex-husband said

‘Your ex-wife was a smart woman.’ He said with anger We all guessed there was more to the marriage.

‘The lodge in villa will be given to my neighbor, I am grateful for all the nights she came to clean my wounds after my ex-husband battered me. The two houses in makeni will be given to Cheshire homes, the orphans could use more shelter. The farm will go to Mrs Kazadi, the only friend I have known to be true. All my savings in the bank will go towards the opening of Yolanta’s library and this house too will be in her name. End of will.’ He announced

Her ex-husband clicked his tongue before standing up ‘Not only was she a whore but a thief too.’ He said

We all looked at him without saying a word, the documents were signed and we drove back home. I went straight to my parent’s house and locked myself up in my

old bedroom, for some reason this had been the room that had heard all my cries.

Now I was going to rub all that off.

..

Tbc

I WILL WAIT