Hurdles – Episode 24

HURDLES

 

_24_

 

(Unedited)

 

 

Nothing could have prepared me for the pain that I was feeling; Cassie has hurt me where it hurts the most and I don’t even know what to make out of Catra anymore.

 

I look at Katuta who still has a smirk on his face.

 

‘Looks like you are having a hard time digesting everything.’ He says hands still shoved in his pockets

 

I don’t say a word, I am sitting on the couch just looking at him but not really seeing him.

 

‘Why would you do this to me Katuta? I have been nothing but good to you.’

 

He laughs

 

‘Good to me? You call handouts as good huh?’

 

‘Times without number I asked if you were okay with what I was offering and you always said it was okay, why then didn’t you tell me that you wanted more?’ I ask my voice breaking

 

‘I never wanted more, I wanted everything. I want everything that you own because men like you don’t deserve what you have.’

 

‘What does that even mean? You know I am hard working and I go out of my way all the time.’

 

He laughs

 

‘Vashawn your parents laid down a foundation for you, they built from the ground up and made sure you got everything that you ever needed.’

 

He pauses

 

‘And how did you repay them? By stealing from them? In their old age?’

 

 

‘What gives you the right to judge me? When did you become judge and jury of my life? Of course it was wrong but you have no right whatsoever to judge me.’

 

‘Maybe I don’t, but I don’t feel guilty taking it all away because at the end of the day you brought it upon yourself. Have you even thought of the lonely life that you are going to have afterwards? Because clearly after all this you will have no one.’ He says calmly hitting my deepest nerves

 

I stand up with a deep sigh, my life is messed up as it is and now I just have to face my fears.

 

I drive out of his office and go to my parents’ house, I haven’t been here since the baby shower. I notice all the cars are in the parking lot but I don’t bother to find out where they are, instead I go straight to my old room, remove my shoes then lay down with my shirt and trousers out.

 

I keep starring at the ceiling, I really can’t put a finger to how I got here. I was always ahead of things and always in control, how in God’s name I allowed my greed to get the best of me I can’t figure out.

 

The door opens and I pretend to be sleeping, the figure walks gently towards me and I am guessing it is mum. I could never miss her steps.

 

She sits just next to where I am on the bed and I can feel her loving eyes looking at me.

 

‘What have you gotten yourself into this time?’ She asks calmly putting my hand into hers

 

I swallow hard

 

‘It’s too messed up mum.’ I say my eyes still closed

 

‘Worse than leaving your kids in the cold?’

 

I don’t respond

 

‘Or maybe taking the empire from us?’

 

This time I look at her, she has this sad look in her eyes even though she is smiling.

 

‘Mum.’ I begin but she puts a finger to my lips

 

‘I blame myself Vashawn, I blame your father too. Your childhood was so shaken look how you turned out.’

 

‘Don’t you ever blame yourself for how I turned out as a person, it was never your fault.’

 

‘Of course it was, had we been a little tough just maybe you would have been half the person that Valerie is.’

 

I don’t know how or why but a tear escapes my eye, I never cry. That is really not me but this time the tears just start rolling down my eyes.

 

‘I am sorry, I really am.’

 

She shakes her head vigorously, not a single tear falling from her eyes

 

‘You are not Vashawn, had you been sorry you would have come here long ago. Being caught doesn’t make you sorry but guilty.’

 

I don’t respond, the tears are no longer falling.

 

‘Does dad know?’

 

‘He does.’

 

‘And the two of you never said anything?’

 

‘Because we didn’t have anything to tell you.’

 

‘What does that mean.’

 

She sighs

 

‘You know we love you right?’

 

‘Yes I do.’ I say sensing some bad news

 

‘Your father and I don’t own the companies anymore.’

 

‘What do you mean?’

 

‘They are not in our names.’

 

She pauses

 

‘They are in our names but they belong to someone else.’ ‘Who?’ I ask sitting upright

 

‘A lot of powerful people Vashawn.’

 

‘Mum what are you saying?’

 

‘You are smart you will figure it out.’ She says standing up She walks half way the room before I stop her

 

‘How could you be so evil? You are my parents for crying out loud!’ I yell She looks at me no emotions on her face

 

‘Vashawn don’t you dare talk to your mother like that!’ Dad yells back I don’t know how much he has heard but I drop my head

 

He bangs the door behind him and stands close to mum

 

 

‘Do you know how many sleepless nights your mother had just hoping you would change? How many times did we summon you to make things right in your home?’

 

‘I thought you never liked Michel!’

 

‘Did we ever tell you that we never liked her? How did you expect us to respect and love her when you treated her the opposite? You couldn’t be nice to your own wife and you expected us to see an angel?’

 

‘But.’

 

‘But what Vashawn? We never knew her when you impregnated her, the image we had of her was the one that you presented to us. We learnt to see her through your eyes because that is how you let us see her. In our eyes she was just a fat woman that bore you kids!’

 

I feel a sharp pain cut through me, no body had ever called Michel fat apart from me and hearing these words from my father just made me burn with anger.

 

‘Now you are tongue tied, we raised you right. We did our very best, how you decided to turn out was entirely up to you. Look at you; at forty two you are still finding comfort in this house that raised you, do you think years from now your kids will come and look for you for comfort?’

 

‘And no I am not talking about that black bastard in your home!’

 

‘Dad.’

 

‘Don’t you dare dad me, Vashawn we have been too soft with you. When last did you see Emely?’

 

I look at him with a blank stare

 

‘Emely the child you had before you impregnated Michel!’

 

‘Dad she is not my child.’

 

‘And yet she carries your last name?’

 

‘I didn’t know.’

 

‘He didn’t know.’ He says sarcastically looking at mum

 

‘You didn’t know and yet Michel has been sending child support every month on your behalf!’ He adds when I don’t respond

 

There is silence in the room

 

‘We sold the companies years ago and we invested in something else overseas, we will be leaving the country in a few months and the owners of the companies you thought were ours will be taking over.’

 

‘And the audit?’

 

‘That is where you have to prepare yourself.’

 

‘Why?’

 

‘You have to pay off everything you have stolen.’

 

‘But how?’

 

‘How am I supposed to know? Don’t you have houses?’

 

‘The other house alone can not amount to the monies I would have to pay back.’

 

‘And the one you recently bought?’

 

‘It’s in Cassie’s name.’

 

‘You will make a plan, you are a grown up after all.’

 

‘What about this house?’ I ask

 

Mum looks at me with shock

 

‘You honestly thought we would leave it in your name?’

 

‘I know it’s in Valerie’s name.’

 

‘Not it isn’t, we gave the two of you enough room to be able to build for yourselves. We weren’t going to give you handouts.’

 

‘So you sold this house too?’

 

‘No.’

 

‘It’s in Michel’s name.’ Mum adds

 

‘What?’

 

‘We gifted it in her name, that’s the least we could do after the way we have treated her.’

 

I don’t respond

 

‘Make peace with your past Vashawn, we love you but can’t baby you any more.’

 

‘I understand.’ I say nodding my heart and then walk out as I feel the world fall on my shoulders

 

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