Confessions Of An Escort – Episode 9

CONFESSIONS OF AN ESCORT

 

_09_

 

As I drive home I can’t help but think of what Francis told me, his words linger a little longer than they should and I am almost allowing them to depress me but I quickly suppress them by playing some beyonce tracks, I love her with a passion but I don’t do any of her songs justice each time I sing along because my voice is horrible.

 

I am home in the next twenty minutes and I find Sean sleeping on the couch, Chisenga is busy putting things in place.

 

‘He couldn’t sleep without saying goodnight to you.’ She says looking at him

 

 

I feel a tag at my heart, God knows how much I love this boy. He is my life and my sanity and I don’t even know if there is much I could do without him.

 

‘Are you okay?’ Chisenga asks

 

‘I am.’ I lie with a smile

 

‘Hey baby.’ I say kissing Sean on the forehead

 

‘Mummy.’ He says in his sleepy state getting up to wrap his hands around me, he sighs deeply and kisses my cheek

 

I smile

 

‘Let us go to bed.’

 

‘After you princess.’

 

I chuckle

 

‘Brush your teeth and wear your pajamas, I will be waiting for you.’

 

He rubs the sleep off his eyes quickly

 

‘I get to sleep in your bed?’

 

‘Yes baby.’ I say

 

He runs off to his room and I see the smile on Chisenga’s face.

 

‘You have just made his dreams come through.’ She says

 

‘I know.’ I say with a smile

 

 

I say my goodnight then go to my room, I immediately hit the shower. Take a quick bath, brush my teeth then wear my pajamas before going to bed. Sean is already tucked in.

 

‘This bed is heaven.’ He says and I can’t help but laugh

 

I switch off the light then get into bed.

 

‘I love you.’ I say kissing his forehead longer than intended before switching off the side lamp

 

‘And I love you.’ He says in the dark

 

I feel a certain pain, it’s so sharp I am almost breaking down. I have built walls so high and guided myself against anyone who wanted to come close, but now I am not so sure if I can do this on my own. They are days when I have cried myself to sleep, when not even the numerous sex with men gave me any satisfaction. Days when I wondered if I would ever meet a man that would accept me for me and learn to love my child as his own. Then again I wondered what Ezra was doing, how he had lived his life. Was he married now? With kids he knew about and a loving wife? All these thoughts bugged me and my only comfort was knowing that I had Sean, Urah and Chisenga.

 

‘Mummy?’

 

‘Yes baby.’

 

‘Are you ever going to tell me about my father?’

 

That is my last straw, all the tears I have been holding back finally fall. Not once has Sean ever asked me this question, I often wondered if he would ever get to this point and now I just don’t know what to tell him. The tears freely fall, rapidly and I almost want to let out an agonizing cry but I have promised myself more than once that my son should never see me like this.

 

As if sensing it, he holds my hand in the dark locks his fingers with mine then moves close and lays his head on my chest.

 

 

‘I love you.’ He says and the cry I have been holding back finally comes out.

 

‘I love you’ he repeats and I can almost feel each and every wall I have built collapsing

 

‘I love you mummy.’ He says again

 

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His voice is crystal clear, it has this strength that is assuring me that it doesn’t matter what we go through as long as we are together we will be okay.

 

‘I love you.’ I tell him

 

‘Get some sleep, you will fall sick.’ He commands me like I always do him

 

I smile in the dark, with tears on my face.

 

When I wake up the next morning, Sean is not in bed. I don’t remember the last time I slept that peaceful, I look at the wall clock and it’s eight.

 

‘Shit.’ I cuss trying to get out of bed because I know we are late for church

 

‘Good morning.’ He says coming into the room with a tray of food

 

‘You didn’t go to church?’

 

‘I wanted to spend time with you.’ He says nicely placing it on my laps

 

Chisenga walks in with a tray and still in her pajamas then gives it to Sean as he settles back in my bed.

 

‘And you?’

 

‘Let’s just say it’s a breakfast date.’ Urah responds also in her pajamas and a tray of food

 

Chisenga returns with her own tray and joins us on the bed.

 

 

‘Oh you three.’ I say tears betraying me

 

‘Now stop with the tears or we will leave.’ Urah threatens with food in her mouth

 

I wipe them with the back of my hand and we all dig into our food, when done we play 30seconds charades before Sean decides it’s time to water his plants. Chisenga says she is going out too to meet someone and now it is only me and Urah.

 

‘Babe are you okay?’ she enquires

 

‘I guess so.’ I respond

 

‘What are you doing here?’

 

‘Sean called me asking if I wanted to have breakfast with you guys in bed.’

 

‘He did what?’

 

‘Yes he did.’

 

‘Weren’t you supposed to be with Mark?’

 

‘He brought me here.’

 

‘And went home?’

 

‘No, he made himself busy in your house.’

 

‘Mark has been here all the while?’

 

‘Yes.’

 

I eye her

 

‘With Francis.’

 

 

‘Babe.’

 

‘What?’ she asks getting out of bed

 

‘Now let’s go you say hi.’

 

‘And Sean has met them?’

 

‘Yes.’

 

I sigh

 

I follow her to the living room where I find the men have invaded my space ‘The princess is finally up.’ Mark says with a smile coming to hug me ‘Good morning.’

 

‘Good morning.’ He responds

 

‘Hope you don’t mind us.’ He apologies

 

‘No.’

 

‘Your son is very intelligent by the way.’

 

I smile

 

‘Good morning Francis.’ I say

 

He looks at me once then goes back to his phone I sigh

 

‘Babe no.’ Urah says

 

I go to where he is, and grab his phone.

 

‘What the?’

 

He doesn’t finish his sentence

 

‘You don’t come into my house and disrespect me, my house my rules. We talk to each other and not phones.’ I say

 

He stands up to square me and I really look like a midget standing this close to him but who cares.

 

‘Let me go and pick up Chomi and his fiancé at the airport, I don’t have time for this drama.’ He says talking to Mark over my head

 

‘Sure.’

 

He walks away from me, removing another phone from his pocket.

 

‘Don’t be late for lunch.’ He says stopping to look at me

 

‘Don’t leave Sean by the way.’

 

The way he says the last part I can almost swear he has a soul but who am I kidding? It’s Francis

 

‘Who is Chomi?’ Urah asks

 

‘His bestfriend, marrying next weekend. Initially this afternoon’s lunch is just a welcome to him and his fiancé.’

 

‘But why Chomi?’

 

‘That’s what they used to call each other growing up and it hasn’t stopped.’

 

‘Oh.’

 

‘We are meeting more people.’ I say with a sigh

 

‘Don’t worry babe after this you will never have to see him again.’

 

‘Yeah.’ I say