Confessions Of An Escort – Episode 42

 

_42_

 

(Unedited)

 

 

The universe gives us what we ask for – all you have to do is put it out there and the universe will do the rest. *Mils*

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I stand as Ezra and everyone else leaves, I can’t believe that this is how cruel he can be even after knowing that Brianna is his daughter. But the words that keep ringing in my head are ‘you made your bed now you have to lay in it.’

 

 

I swallow hard as I think of them deeply again, there is truth in them but I just wish in this case he had taken a different route. I know how karma can be real, how it comes to bite us in the back when we least expect it. How somehow our sins always come back to haunt us.

 

 

There is nothing that Joan hasn’t done to piss me off, it’s like the devil specifically sent her to try and ruin my life but she has not succeeded. I have hated her and wanted what she did to me to be done twice to her but in this moment I feel nothing but pity for her, no mother deserves to see their child sick and not know what to do about it.

 

 

I walk back inside the hospital and the crying from Joan startles me, i have heard that cry before. Is familiar in these walls. It is the cry of a bereaved mother, a grieving mother, a mother who has no idea what else she will live for because she couldn’t protect her child from the cold hands of death. I walk quickly to where she is and my heart shutters seeing her like that.

 

 

There is just something about proud people coming down to their knees, it’s not a beautiful sight to watch.

 

 

‘Mummy I have killed my child.’ She cries, honest tears falling

 

 

I stand against the wall and watch on as all this happens, Dr. Clinton looks at me with a face that I recognize. I have taken time to study Brianna’s case, what they doctor didn’t tell Joan was that her child’s condition was really taking a tow on her healthy and if the surgery wasn’t done soon enough; she would give up.

 

 

‘Mummy she is gone.’ Joan cries sending a cold chill all over my body

 

 

I look at her and feel the need to hold her, I am a mother and I would never wish death of a child upon anyone.

 

 

 

In my six years of practice, I never thought a day would come when I would break down this much after losing a patient. I am a mess, I am hurt and God knows I am in a very bad place right now. After Ezra refused to donate the blood, Joan begged Dr. Clinton that Sean donates his but he is not eligible because of his age. I would have loved to help her but I couldn’t, and God knows I will try my best not to hold it against myself because in that moment there was nothing much that I could have done.

 

 

I stand against the wall as more tears fall, I see her there screaming and whimpering on the floor but I can hear nothing. My hearing is shuttered with all the emotions that she is pouring out as the tears continue to fall, I want to hold her. To tell her that this is not the end of the world but how do you comfort someone who has just lost a greater part of them.

 

 

I look at dad, the piercing look that he always has is not there any more. All I see is glass that is about to break and I am broken even more to be looking into the face of the man that once loved me to the coil.

 

 

We had been the best of friends, dad and I. We are inseparable, I was his favorite daughter, his girl and I always strived at doing right by him but life happened. I let him done and instead of correcting me as a parent he shunned me off, expecting me to grow up alone in a cruel society and still be a normal adult.

 

 

He comes close to where I am and I feel my insides let loose, I have wanted to be held by my father again. I have longed to feel like he could protect me and this moment right here when emotions are all over the place I go into his arms and cry my heart out.

 

 

I cry so hard it hurts, I cry for all those years I hated myself for having let him down. I cry for the questions I had and yet never got answers, I cry because despite everything I am still my fathers little girl.

 

 

‘Look at them all dolled up.’ Joan says with laughter

 

 

I lift my eyes to look at her

 

 

‘You think you are perfect right?’ She asks again laughing this time on her feet

 

 

‘Joan.’ Mum says with worried eyes

 

 

‘Joan this, Joan that. What mother?’ She asks her eyes popping

 

 

‘Joan don’t do this to me.’ Mum cries

 

 

She grabs the wrapper that mum was wearing and wraps it around her waist.

 

 

‘Now we are going to dance, you and I.’ She says forcefully holding mum on both hands

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‘Katie give us some music because you are the winner here.’

 

 

She is now shaking her waist and I am trying so hard to comprehend what is happening but I can’t

 

 

‘Joan please.’

 

 

‘You told me I would be dad’s favorite, you took me to that man mother.’

 

‘Joan.’ Mum cries some more

 

 

‘I slept with him daddy, I slept with the man at the shrine. Your did did too.’

 

 

‘What is she talking about?’ Dad asks

 

 

Mum looks at him without a word, fear written on her face.

 

 

‘Mother was barren, mother couldn’t bear children.’ Joan songs making circles

 

 

‘You know what mother did? Mother slept with a man at the shrine to have us and I was the sacrificial lamb.’

 

 

She laughs whilst scratching her head

 

 

‘You did what?’ I ask now in tears

 

 

‘She made me sleep with him when I was ten and that has been happening since, the man at the shrine is my god. The man at the shrine is my king. Look at me now.’

 

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I can’t believe I came from such a messed up family, my twin sister has lost her mind just like that. And my mother had a hand in it.

 

 

‘I am done with all of you.’ I say and walk out