Confessions Of An Escort – Episode 15

CONFESSIONS OF AN ESCORT

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I want the ground to swallow me, I want the wind to blow me off, anything but not be here in this moment.

The little whimpers continue, I know he is waiting for answers but I don’t know just what to say.

I see Chisenga tighten her grip on his shoulders, now more than ever I need someone to just come and bail me out of this situation.

‘Sean hunny.’ Urah begins going to his side with tears in her eyes

‘Baby I want you to listen to me real well.’ She says again going to kneel by his side

‘Your mother loves you, everything she has ever done has been for your own good. She has sacrificed anything and everything that she could just so you could have the life that you have now. I know you didn’t ask her, I know you didn’t even expect her to. But she is your mother and it was her duty and responsibility to take care of you.’

‘But is he my father?’ Sean asks with tears falling

‘Yes baby he is, right now I want you to come with me so that your parents can sort this out okay?’

He looks past her and looks at me, I really can’t read what he wants to tell me but I am appreciative that Urah has taken it upon herself to bail me out. She stands up and walks with him outside, I see Chisenga rush to his room and I am sure it is to get his school uniforms and other things he might need.

I throw myself on the chair and allow the tears to fall, the tears that I have been holding back for too long. I never wanted for my child to find out about his father like this, I had no intentions of him ever finding out about his father but how do I begin to explain to him things that happened eight years ago without him feeling like I didn’t do enough looking for his father.

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Chisenga walks out, there is silence in the room except for my silent cries.

I stand up to go to my room.

‘I know you are hurting but sooner or later we need to talk.’ Ezra says

I turn to look at him.

‘Are you listening to yourself?’ I ask

‘Ezra you will be marrying in four days, are you sure you have it in you to want to have this conversation?’ I ask

‘This is my child we are talking about here.’

‘A child that you have only known about now, so don’t make it sound like you give a rats ass about him.’

‘I will not allow you to disrespect me!’

‘Or what Ezra? What could you possibly do to me that you didn’t do eight years ago?’ I scream back

‘Katie I will say this for the last time, I didn’t know that you were pregnant. I didn’t even think of that possibility. That wasn’t our first time.’

‘Blame it on your mother then, she chased me. Ezra I made an effort by telling her that I was pregnant, she called me a gold digging black girl who just wanted to milk her son of whatever riches he was coming from. Both you and I know I came from money, from filthy money there was no way I could have trapped you by saying I was pregnant. But I thrived through it and here I am. And no, I don’t want you in my son’s life. Have as many legal babies as you want with Mer’vis, Sean is mine. And if you want to go to court make sure you bring the best lawyers because even if it means fighting you with my blood I will.’ I say and angrily walk to my bedroom

I stand in the mirror and allow the angry tears to fall, the pain I am feeling is beyond me. Memories of when I was just pregnant hit me, I didn’t have anything to my name. My family had just disowned me and Ezra had left the country. I was emotionally broken and I had no one to lean to except Chisenga, I didn’t give up. I remember the ugly stares from people, I remember everything like it were yesterday but I never gave up. I raised my child like my life depended on it and now someone just wants to come and claim that he is his?

More angry tears fall, I don’t even hear Francis walk in until he is standing behind me. I hate that he is seeing this broken side of me but I care less because Sean is my life and I don’t care what anyone thinks of me when it comes to him.

He wraps his hands around my neck and pushes me to him without a word, more tears fall. And some more, when I can’t cry anymore I sigh deeply and ask that I go to the bed and lay down a bit.

He gets into bed with me, except he sits upright and I rest my head on his laps. We are like that for a while without any of us saying anything.

‘Katie.’ He begins

‘Yes.’ I say sniffing

‘What do you think Ezra wants?’ He asks

‘To get my son.’ I say tears falling again

‘Is that what he has told you?’

‘But.’

‘Baby is that what he has told you?’ He asks again this time playing with my hair

I shake my head

‘I just figured.’

I stop before I can finish my sentence

‘I need you to hear me, don’t make this about you because it isn’t. Sean is human, his got emotions and a life ahead of him. How you and Ezra build his foundation now is going to play a major role in how he turns out as a man.’

I sniff

‘I am sure you don’t want to raise a broken man.’

I shake my head

‘Or a man who is lost either.’ He adds

‘I want you to forget what Ezra did, not that it’s right or anything but it’s in the past. Forget about it and look at the future, what he is going to tell his family or his fiancé is his business. You two need to sit down and decide how you will co parent.’

‘I don’t want to share my son.’

‘You are not sharing him, you are being his mother and allowing Ezra to be his father. Let him fail on his own, we don’t want Sean growing up and accusing you of now allowing him to be with his father not so?’

‘No.’ I say

‘Good, now clean up and go and get your child.’

‘I want the dust to settle, I want to sleep.’

‘You sleep, I will be here when you wake up.’ He says kissing my forehead