Oh no, I just made a mistake I shouldn’t have told her that I’m Zack because the way she dropped the magazines made my heart skip a beat, … “what’s wrong” Valery whispered in my ear as everywhere went silent Sarah stared at me. I searched her eyes but didn’t read anything. Valery got down from my table, she’s a very sweet little girl who asks a lot of questions.. She went to Sarah ah touched her “mommy, what’s wrong” she asked
Sarah flinched and sighed “oh Valery I just had a thought of something.. She said she’s lying I know she’s sad and angry about it, she also looked very shocked and I felt like the ground should just open and swallow me.. Cause it just felt like my judgement day and I’ll do anything for her to forgive me..
A tear roll down her cheek and I tried to get close to her but she immediately muttered “don’t!! ” and I stopped in my tracks.
“I’m sorry” Zachary… Zack’s voice cracked
..i couldn’t believe I was actually this stupid, I didn’t know what to do.
“why didn’t you tell me” I cried lowly.
“Because I didn’t. I felt that it wasn’t the right time. I swear I could have told you but I was scared, but seeing Valery I felt like I should tell you, maybe she’s my child” he said
He’s not fu.cking serious.
I cleaned my tears, I have to be strong in this..
“your child? , Valery is not yours and can never be yours” I said even though they both look bloody alike.. “but..
“I can’t believe you Zack” I cut him off and stared at his glossy eyes and quivering lips..
“you know you’re such an idiot.. And is that the reason why I got this job, oh and the same reason you bought me a car, I can’t believe you, so you were trying to buy my forgiveness how can you be so low Zack.. How could you not notice you were being very stupid,” I yelled and he sighed, oh no my eyes started to water. I tried to
hold back my tears but I couldn’t the memory of me in my prom dress getting raped by a guy that I thought was my friend played in my mental screen and I couldn’t help it but cry..
“Sarah seriously I’m sorry” he said and it seemed like it wasn’t only my mouth and head that was angry but also my hand and immediately I slapped him. The door opened and someone walked in. I didn’t bother to turn to him because all my attention had been set on, Zack , I felt like ripping his head off.
“You’re sorry, you’re sorry, that’s what you’re going to say, you think when you say that you’re forgiven, no.. You’re not, ” I yelled and sniffed and cried even more. “did you even know what I went through after you did that, I felt pains for weeks , and after that I was pregnant for her, I started having this traumas about you freaking out every minute my mom thought I was going crazy , she took me to a mental institution I didn’t get any treatment because they found out I wasn’t crazy after all, ..but the doctor said Valery could die if care wasn’t taken, after taking meditation classes , it took my traumas away and I was fine and now you want me to forgive you after everything, you’re the most selfish person I’ve ever seen ” I told him and cleaned my tears. He wanted to speak but he couldn’t..
“oh and here if you think you can buy me with your car or any of these” I said and gesture my hand in the air before throwing his keys at him and dragging Valery hand and walking away, I’ve got to stay away from him..
“Sarah” I heard him calling me but I’m not a fool to answer …
I took the elevator and as the door closed I cried. “mommy what’s wrong” Valery said crying too.
I didn’t give her a reply because she was too little to understand.
I cleaned my tears and turned to her “everything’s fine, honey but don’t worry I just quit my job and I’ll be spending time with you okay” I said but she didn’t nod.. She still wore frown on her face,
As the elevator door went open I dragged Valery’s hand and walked out, we were in the cafeteria ready to burst out the exit door to get out of this goddamned building when I heard my name, Zack was calling me..
I turned and saw him running up to me and then stopped Like five feet away from me..
“what!” I yelled and my voice echoed in the whole cafeteria that the people passing stopped just to look at Me and the person I’m yelling at. They were thrilled it was Zack their ‘boss’.
“I’m sorry ” Zack yelled back.. And everyone watched the show surprisingly.. I rolled my eyes
“you’ve got to be kidding me” I said and was about to go when he slowly went on his knees ..and the people watching gasped..
“I’m so sorry” he said again and it seemed like he will break down in tears any minute “you hurt me Zack and sorry can’t fix that, I’m sorry too because I’m not the Sarah I was in high school, go look for your sarah.” I said and drag Valery out.
I took the bus even though the people in there were very crowdy, I didn’t care, I carried Valery on my thigh and I faced the glass as the bus went moving, i couldn’t help it but cry.. Zack caused a lot pains in my life, physical, emotional and mental.I thought I was going to die at sixteen when I haven’t even lived yet, but all thanks to my therapist, and meditation classes which helped me get rid of bad traumas and nightmares I was fine, I cried remembering all that happened when the bus stopped I quickly cleaned my tears and came down with Valery, immediately I opened the door and walked in with Valery my mom knew something was wrong “what’s wrong” she asked
Instead of replying I cried even more and she glanced at Valery who was dozing beside me..
“go to your room, I’ll take Valery to bed, she must have had a long day too, cause she doesn’t sleep during afternoons” my mom smiled maybe trying to cheer me up but I Just couldn’t get a hint.. As my mom took Valery to her room I went to my room and sat tiredly on my bed before my mom walked in.. “okay now.. What’s wrong” she asked
“it’s Zack.. I met..him” I cracked.
“I don’t understand” my mom eyes flutter and I cleaned my tears and cleared my throat in attempt to talk clearer..
“I.. I didn’t realise Zachary, my boss was actually zack” I cried and my mom sat beside me and rubbed my back. “so that was the reason he bought you a car” my mom said and I nodded.
“And he told me to forgive him that he’s sorry but I can’t forgive because I know what I felt mother” I cried..
“don’t say am taking his side I’m taking neither sides but I think you should forgive him” my mom said.
“what? Mom you know exactly what I went through” I yanked and my mom nodded.
“I know but, its all in the past now, everything happened for a reason sweetie and it has already happened you can’t shift time, you just have to let go and forgive him, because if you don’t the anger will just stay within you and festered and it will end up hurting you” my mom said
“No way mom. I can’t believe you’re actually saying this” I yanked and cleaned my tears, she sighed and said
“look think whatever you want to but, just forgive him, be thankful he admits, accepts and begged, be thankful because Valery was the best thing ever! Don’t you see like I said every disappointment is a blessing.. And yours is.. ” “Valery was a mistake mom” I said and regretted I said that.
“she is but not anymore she’s your pricest possession, at least she’ll have a father think about this hon huh” my mom said and sighed.
I don’t want to forgive Zack.. It’s just so hard even my mom doesn’t get me.Just then we heard the door bell go and my mom stood up and headed out to the living room.
“sarah” she called.
I sniffed and cleaned my face with my hand and headed to the living room to see Zack sitting on the couch impatiently His face looked pale like he had been crying and his hair was all rough and his nose was red and his eyes soaked and looked heavy.
If he’s here for forgiveness then he’s wasting his time..
THE SOUND OF LOVE ♥