“Are you drunk?” my sister asks
I look up from my glass and shake my head.
“You are drunk,” she repeats herself.
I laugh, ‘I am not drunk.’
She sits on the edge of the bed and pitifully looks at me, I haven’t been myself ever since I left home I miss my children, I miss Tasha too. I don’t know if she thinks of me as much as I think of her. Do I even cross her mind? Is she even willing to make amends so we can make things work between us? I haven’t been picking up her calls lately because the last time we talked she hurled insults and curses at me. I have been trying to think of ways to make our marriage better.
“Is it wrong to love someone as much as I love my wife?” I ask draining a third of my beer in one swallow.
“You need to slow down on the bottle,’ she says
“I am okay.”
“No you are not, if being away from them affects you this much then you have to go back but when you do, take charge and be the man.”
“You know Tasha she loves to be in charge.”
“Do what you have to do as man or leave her, I know you are soft spoken and humble but your wife is too much.”
“I will see what I can do.”
“The reason I haven’t come to your house to cause havoc is because I respect you but if he this shit continues when you go back, I swear Tasha will know they are people madder than she is.”
I laugh, my sister Amelia and Tasha are not in good terms because of Tasha’s behavior, the two women don’t see eye to eye but she loves the girls to death.
“I am serious, talk things through and decide what exactly you want but don’t do things for the sake of the children, do what you think is right for you and your wife.”
“I hear you.”
“I am tired I am off to bed take it easy on the bottle you have to be in class tomorrow remember?”
She rises to her feet and walks to the door she walks out closing the door behind her back. After a minute, I grab my phone and stare at my wallpaper, there’s a picture of my wife I took the photo without her knowledge a few weeks ago. Beautiful woman she is, I can barely keep my eyes off the picture, I can’t find the right words to describe my feelings for my wife, all I know is that she is my entire life, I can’t do without her, I love her deeply.
Maybe that’s my problem, I love her too much, from the word go, I knew I loved Tasha more than she loved me, I have teased and called names for loving her too much but what can I do? Some people think she gave me a love portion for me to love her, this much but this is who I am, when I love I love with everything in me, body, mind and soul.
When I met Tasha, I thought she was the most beautiful woman I’d ever see and when she accepted to be my wife a few months later, I felt like the luckiest man on earth. I would do anything to get things to how they were when we first got married.
My train of thoughts is disrupted by my ringing phone, who would dare call me at such an ungodly time of the day I wonder as I pick up without checking the caller I.D.
“Fred,” Anna says on the other side of the phone.
“Anna,” I manage a smile as if she can see me.
“Hope I didn’t wake you.”
“No,” I shake my head. “I can’t sleep.”
“I can’t sleep too.”
“I have a lot on my mind.”
“Care to share.”
“I met someone,” she says
“Tell me about him.”
“He is a nice guy, he is cool and fun to be with, he is smart and loving, he is everything I have ever wanted a man.”
“I have never heard you talk about a man like this.”
“I love him.”
“I am happy for you buddy.”
“There is a problem.”
“He has someone.”
“Is he married?”
“Does that silence mean he is married?”
“He is on the verge of a divorce.”
“You are better than that Anna, a married man?”
“He is about to divorce his wife.”
“But he is still married to her?”
“A married man is a no go area, forget about him, you are better than this.
“Well, I like him and he says he will leave his wife for me.”
“I am serious Anna, you are a beautiful and smart woman, any man would be blessed to have you don’t rush this, you will find your own man.”
“You think I am smart and beautiful?” she asks
“And if you were single, would hint on a relationship with me?”
I burst out laughing.
“It’s just a question.”
“I only have eyes for Tasha I think that has been established.”
“What if Tasha wasn’t in the picture? Would things between us work?”
“Are you okay?”
“Yes, anyway thank you for your advice see you at work, good night,” she hangs up before I can respond.
Well that was strange, I hope she doesn’t purse that relationship with the married man, such relationships could end up draining her, most married never leave their wives for their mistresses. Anyway, i undress and crawl under the covers I need to get some rest.
I woke up quiet early today and I must say I am proud of myself because I managed to get the girls ready for school and drove them there in time, now I am on my way to Prisca’s house. I am not working today, I took the day off.
Pulling up in Prisca’s driveway, I step out of the car and head for the door.
“Girl,” she smiles as I walk into the house, she is sitting on the floor in her living room typing away on her phone.
“You are good?”
“Yes, i just dropped the girls off at school.”
“How are my babies?”
“They are fine.”
“You are glowing,” she says
“Oh please,” I roll my eyes before I sit down.
“How is Kai?”
“He should be fine,” I respond
“Let’s not talk about him.”
“Spill,” she says
“I texted him yesterday and he didn’t respond, up to now he is quiet.”
She laughs, “You are upset?”
“No, I am fine.”
“You must see yourself in the mirror.”
“I want to sort out things with my husband, let’s forget Kai I am sure he is busy with his wife.” “But when he calls you will be crawling back into his hands.”
“I do feel a lot of things for him but I am a married man and I have to take my vows seriously, I have children I have to think off.”
“What are you saying?”
“Fred must come back home.”
“And you will be that submissive wife that he wants you to be?” “Well..”
She shakes her head, “You become submissive and he will cheat on you, he will step on you.”
“Fred would never cheat.”
“You are sure?”
DIARY OF A TORMENTED HUSBAND