Good Isn't Good Enough: Episode 1 - 42 : TOPSTER STORIES

Good Isn’t Good Enough – Episode 35

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#35

 

27|06|18

 

11:37AM

 

A coin has two sides.

 

 

Head.

 

Healing can never be done in the same place that caused you pain.

 

Tail.

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The very place that caused you pain is the best place to find full closure and subsequent healing – Wangu-Endike

 

*

 

I parked the car in front of the house and took a deep breath, I had inherited it from my late father. The man who had taken my innocence, killing the only life I had in me.

 

A tear escaped from my eyes, not once had I ever thought that I would get back to this place. I had made sure to live it all behind and my now here I was, finding solace in it and my now to be ex-husband didn’t even know it existed.

 

I slowly got out of the vehicle and allowed my mind to wander to how it had been living here, I had dreamt of the day I would take my father’s life. Each and every other day I got a step closer and meeting Oswald had been a blessing in disguise.

 

He helped me through it all and despite his faults he never walked away from me. Most people would actually tell me that I was a coward for giving up quickly, that there was no way that I could just walk away from my marriage without putting up a fight but honestly I had more emotional battles to fight than those that were visible on the physical.

 

Jason had hurt me, a whole lot and I wasn’t going to start defending him for the things that he did but in as much as he did; how I reacted to it all was two hundred percent on me. The Azure lady was just another factor that contributed but had my husband behaved himself she wouldn’t have been in the picture; I mean I had learnt way so much to start fighting her. She wasn’t my enemy and so I wouldn’t even bother about her; what I just couldn’t comprehend till this day was why Jason had cheated. I had heard everything he had to say, yes he was sorry, yes he wanted me back but have you ever felt like someone telling you they were sorry wasn’t what you needed to hear? That the only thing that would make it all better would be them telling you why they cheated, why they found comfort in another and yet you were always there willing to whine and grind and jump and bend.

 

 

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Good isn’t good enough right? Imagine asking for grace every day to be able to stick with someone who has nothing to their name, imagine being the sole foundation on which they build their empire only for your efforts to be thrown back to your face like girl I didn’t ask for you to stay.

 

I was with Jason through the grit because it was with him I wanted to be with when the pearls came.

 

Had he told me that I was getting too old for him it would have made perfect sense. But I mean I did my best to stay in shape, I did my nails; boy I even changed my hair twice a month. I was the perfect traditional and modern wife, I was the best mother that my kids deserved but no he still had to cheat.

 

I felt a lump on my throat as I thought of the many ways I would have killed the two, I could have put pills in his drink or pulled the trigger; hell would I have even strangled him with my bare hands but I was too damaged to do more to him, to them or myself so I just decided to walk away.

 

Giving up was never a thing for me but I had to pick my battles wisely this time. Battles that I had left unfought all those years, battles I thought packing away would have died not knowing they were birthing greater and bigger demons; demons that were slowly crushing me.More interesting stories on Topster Stories App

 

Burying my past at some point made me feel like I had totally let go of everything not knowing that I had just built myself up for distraction. Both my husband and I couldn’t sacrifice to make our marriage work, my pain was selfish and his love was inconsiderate; both of which had us peeling off of each other with bruises that would leave a lasting impact on us, an impact that would shake even the life of our kids and make them question anyone that tried to get close to them because how can they believe in love when their first example of perfect is their parents?

 

I dragged my cases inside and pushed the door shut behind me, I could feel some bad aura but I just told myself that I had to walk through this in order to find my healing.

 

I went to what used to be my bedroom and the dust hit my nostrils first, no one had stayed in the house after dad and even though Oswald had advised me to sell it I thought against it because somehow I knew I would need it someday.

 

I removed the plastic that that was covering the bed and sat on it, my phone had been off the whole time. I wasn’t ready to talk to anyone; I just wanted to use this time to reflect on myself and my life.

 

In as much as I still wanted to fight for Jason or fight him, I didn’t have that much strength in me left. I was messed up as a human and working on myself was the only thing that would help at the moment.

 

**

 

Whoever came up with the phrase keep your friends close and your enemies closer must have been sisters with Lucifer, I could feel my blood boiling as I walked out of the President’s office and everyone was looking at me like I was never one of them; like we didn’t dine or wine together.

 

I walked to my office and banged the door behind me, I was fuming and I needed to vent my anger somewhere and I knew just the culprit. Jason was to blame for everything, all my life I had just wanted to have everything run smoothly but no! He just had to show up from the middle of nowhere and take everything right out of my hands.

 

I was just about to start packing my things when the door flew open; it was the President’s security.

 

‘Yes?’ I asked

 

‘The President asked us to escort you out.’ One responded I laughed, a bitter laugh

 

‘You are not joking?’ I asked when none of them shared in my laughter They just looked at me

 

‘Can I at least finish packing my things?’

 

‘That won’t be necessary, someone will pack them and send them to your apartment.’

 

I sighed then straightened my jacket.

 

I started to walk out of the office with the security people walking behind me, this was worser than it had been the time Jason was suspended. Oh how I loathed him even more, I got to where my car was parked and got inside. The first thing I did was to call Melisa but her line was off. I tried it a million times over but it was still telling me that it was off and I found that strange because she never kept her line off no matter the circumstance.More interesting stories on Topster Stories App

 

I drove straight home feeling the weight on my shoulders but I told myself that I wasn’t going to allow this situation to define how the rest of my life would play out I would make sure to make each of them pay starting with Jason.

 

Winnie

 

 

 

 

 

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#GOOD_ISNT_GOOD_ENOUGH

 

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