The Adventure Of Kúkù Jósẹ́fù – Episode 2
උɦคpt㉫® 2
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Author’s POV
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I was coming back from my afternoon lesson then suddenly someone pushed me down and I fell.
I turned back to see who that was and it turn out to be four of the students from the lesson.
Then I knew exactly the reason why this is happening, it’s all because of what happened during the lesson.
what happened was that they were busy singing when the lesson was going on jejely and the teacher demanded for the person.
Everyone knew that he’s the one but they are afraid to mention him, the teacher promised not to teach our class for that day if we didn’t provide the person.
Since I kuku don’t like have privilege to go to school and this is the only way I kuku get small education and everyone else is attending a day school, so I decided to kuku speak up.
After paying #50 to come here and I will now waste it, God forbid, I Kanno come and pay that plenty money and waste it because of one yeye boy, #50 too plenty to be wasted like that.
The teacher call him out and gave him a punishment then she continue teaching us.
e be like say you dey mad Abi, you b the reason why aunty beat me today” the boy called Aremu said.
haha…..wich kain talk be dat one?…….na me dey mad?….don’t find my trouble oo” I said to him.
God go punish dat ur mouth,…na dat trouble na hin I dey look for” he said then punch me again for mouth.
If there’s any good thing that poverty did to me then it’s definitely going to be my strength.
I kuku have no idea how I kuku got this strength but I use it anyways, I kuku don’t care who that person is, just kuku don’t mess with me.
Only mama Josefu can beat me flawlessly, yes of course she’s my mama but for any other person if you look for my trouble I go kuku show you my trouble.
I charged back at him and gave him two punch which cause his mouth to bleed immediately.
This took the remaining three by surprise and after they came back from their riverie they charge at me and we all started fighting.
I keep punching them at every chance I get and they keep coming back at me, after a while all of them are bleeding from their mouth or nose and I didn’t even get a scratch on me.
I beat them all to the ground and they couldn’t come at me any longer, then I felt someone gave me a hot slap from behind then I turn immediately to punch the person only for me to see my mother.
” haha….maaami” I said.
” eeehhh…..josefu…you want to beat me abi…..kuku kill me…..kuku kill me oohs…. Josefu” mama said clinging to my cloth.
” mama….see no be my fault ooo…..na dam start am……i no do anything” I said pouting as she beat me.
” shut up dia….you dis tupid chide” she said then went to meet the boys.
” my pikin abeg you no go kuku vex…ehh……see as your mouth dey comot blood ehh…..this chide no go kuku kill me one day” mama said.
” lemme take you to mama Caro place…..make she kuku help you treat am” mama said.
” but mama….na dem cause am na” I said.
we u kip kwayet ” she shunned me.
go to the market and dey watch my fish” mama said then took the boys to mama Caro place so I kuku go straight to the market.
There’s something else you need to know about me which I said i will explain later and that’s about my father.
My full name is Josefu Olawale Edwards, yes Edwards…..you must be wondering how a village boy like
me dey bear josefu and also got the name Edward.
Edward na my papa name at least that’s what Maami kuku tell me, this is the story of my mama and exactly what she told me.
She told me that she has once been to Lagos before to work as a maid in one rich house.
She told me about the son of the man who own the house, also how the son confessed his love for her and was ready to marry and how he pressed countless buttons just to make her agree and like a dummy she accepted him.
The parent of the man didn’t know about their affairs until my mother became pregnant.
The owner became very angry when they find out about it and became more furious when they find out that their son is responsible for the pregnancy.
Their son accepted the pregnancy and was ready to marry my mother just as he promised but the parent forbid it and sent my mother packing.
My mother went back to her family in the village but her parent rejected her as well saying that she was a disgrace to them and they sent her away and that was how we ended up in this village.
When my mom told me this I was more than surprise and angry at how dull my mother was.
aaahhh…..ah swear Mama josefu dull small sha….infact she dull plenty plenty?” I said to myself.
How can you allow yourself to be played by one yeye rich boy who call himself my father.
Is that how olden days women Dull?” I asked myself as I still find it funny.
You wey be say you be servant and one rich pikin con dey tell you say hin like you and you just open your leg for am…gbaaaa……ehn…..just like dat……ahh.
Even for this village no girl go allow something like that, she kon dey let one Rich pikin give you belle kon dey born me for this place kon make me dey suffer.
I keep thinking about this alot of times and I will nodded my head for my mama dumbness.
Something else you need to know about me is that when I turned eighteen last year I started experiencing some things.
Things like a premonition or just for me to dream about evil things that’s about to happen.
But first, Lemme kuku tell you something about this our village, plenty people get charm for this village no be small.
Infact almost everybody for this village dey do juju, from man to woman, from old to young even students dey get kuku wey dem dey use.
Something happened when I was still going to school, I was in jss2 and we were writing exam at that time.
Like I explained earlier that I was bright and intelligent when I was in school, so as I look at the question paper and I smiled because I know everything.
So I decided to start writing but suddenly I don’t know what to write anymore.
I became surprised and scratch my head for me to remember something but nothing happened.
I can’t remember anything anymore, this because a mystery to me then it occur to me that a student is behind it.
The student behind it is using my brain to write her own exam, I look around for who it may be but I can’t tell so I stood up.
if anyone of you here is doing something to my brain, the person should stop Now” I said but no one say anything.
josefu, what are you doing?…..what do you want?” the teacher asked.
unculu….someone is doing something to my head….and I can’t write my exam ” I said to the teacher.
what are you talking about?…..will you sit down and write your Exam” the teacher said then I sat down.
I tried to concentrate but no luck nothing is coming in then I stood up again.
the person should stop naw……i want to write my exam” I said in teary eyes.
josefu….. what’s wrong with you?….are you okay at all?…….sit down now or else I will send you out” the teacher said then I sat again and bent my head on the desk.
Then I saw a vision which is the first time I will be seeing something like that.
In that vision I saw a goat eating the food that I’m supposed to eat then I got angry and took a big plank and hit it on its head.
I heard a loud scream which brought me out of my vision, I saw that it’s a girl not far from my sit and I knew that she’s the one behind my empty head because all the knowledge started rushing back in.
Everyone in the class stopped their writing and rushed to her asking what happened but I didn’t even take a step away from my seat so I continue writing my exam.
As she was screaming out loud in pain, the other students and teachers in other class came over to our Class and they asked her what happened but instead she pointed at me and everyone attention down on me but I pretended that I didn’t see them so I continue writing.
” josefu, what is she talking about?……what did you do to her? ” one of the teacher asked and I stare at
the teacher.
” e be like say your destiny get fault……u see me do anything ” I thought then I answered.
” haha unculu, shebi u see me say na here I sit down,……i no do anything na…..abi you see me do
anything?” I defended.
” then why is she pointing at you?” he asked again.
” ha ah….This unculu dull sha….see his Doughnot head” i thought.
” ah no no naw…..ask her?” I said.
Then they asked her again what’s wrong and she pointed at me again and I got angry.
” come se o mad ni…..eh…oya were ni……oloriburuku ni e ni ( are you an unfortunate person), Abi aye e
fe baje sha (or do you want your life to ruin), you see me do anything?…..abi dis wan dey craze ni?” I
said angrily.
” shut up Josef, are you mad?…..why are you acting like a mad man?……now tell me why she’s pointing
at you? ” the teacher asked.
unculu, you know say na your presence I dey shout say somebody dey do something for my head” I said.
” yew what has that got to do with this? ” he asked.
” ehh…..she’s the one nah” I said and they all turn to the girl.
” omoshalewa, is that true? ” the teacher asked and she nodded.
“yyyeess…..yess oh…….aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh” she said screaming and everyone was shocked and they moved back.
” Uhh…..yeye people” i thought.
” mtcheeeeeeew…….shioooor” I hissed.
” you this girl eh……sorry josefu, no vex ehh… so give her something make she use for her to be Better…….or tell us wetin she go do to make her better” the teacher said and I stare at him.
unculu, se ori yin o buru ( unculu are you okay at all) ” I thought.
unculu, ah no no nah, do I look like babalawo ni (herbalist)?” I said.
” aaaaahhhhhh……take me to my mama……aaaaahhhhh……take me to my mama…… Take me to mama
shalewa…….aaaaahhhhhh” the girl shouted then the teacher and some students took her home.
Ever since then everyone has been scared of me, they labelled me a wizard after the incident, even the girl didn’t come to school anymore cause I heard she was okay.
Everyone hated me in school including the teachers, it got to a point that if they planned on beating everyone when they get to me…. I will be spared.
My unavailability to pay for my waec form gave everyone at school a joy and which make none of them consider to help me despite my intelligence.
The full version of the premonition started last year, when I had a dream about some people that are in a junction, they started incantation and call out someone’s name and I heard the person screamed out loud which woke me up.
That dream was very scary and I have no Idea or meaning to that dream, so I just slept back.
On the next, when I was following my mother to the market we saw some people crying right in front of a house.
So my mom went there to make enquiry about what happened and then she came back.
maami, watin happen?” I asked as I noticed her expression as we dey go.
na one woman wey kuku dey live for that house, na she die na…..and the woman still small……omo Kekere ni” Mama said sadly.
Eyya……na wetin dey say dey do am? ” I asked.
dem say nothing dey do am oo……shebi na sleep she kuku sleep for night……bo se pariwo niyen lati oju orun (and she shouted from sleep)” mama said and I snapped.
hope say no be the woman from my sleep for night” I thought.
Mama wetin be the name of that persin?” I asked.
na mama ishola na hin dem dey call her…..uhmm…..death you no do good oo” she said.
o boy, na the name I hear be dat ooo, haha…how dat one kon possible? ” I thought as we got to the market.
For the next few days I didn’t have any of that dream again until another night, I had another dream about someone carrying sacrifice for hand and went to a orita-meta (t-junction) and put it down then started incantation on it then left and I heard another person voice screaming and I woke up immediately.
haha, which kain thing be this now…. Eh…. Pesin no fit sleep again ni” I said then lie down back.
I tried getting back to sleep but I was unable to so I stood up and went outside.
We don’t have a clock in our house so I don’t know the time, but We are still in the middle of the night, I decided to go over to the place I saw in my dream.
As I was walking in the lonely road looking around from time to time like a thief, no sound could be heard only the shrilling sound of the mouse.
I got to the t-junction and I quickly hide as I see a man dressed in a red cloth carrying a sacrifice just like the one I saw in my dream.
He chanted on the incantation then left, when I noticed that he has gone I move closer to the sacrifice and wonder what I had to do to stop their evil work.
Then I noticed that I was pressed so I decided to urinate on it and I did, after doing that I carry the sacrifice and go inside the bush and throw it inside the bush then I went back home.
The next day I was happy that it worked cause I heard no news about anyone dying or anything strange.
Ever since then if I had a dream like that I always went out in the middle of the night to stop their evil deed without the knowledge of my mama.
Things got more funny and interesting one day, just like every other times that I had the dream.
so I went to the place I saw in my dream and waited for the evil doer to leave before going over there.
I saw the sacrifice and my Tommy make a joyful sound. I only drink garri to sleep and the garri no even plenty.
The sacrifice before me is enticing and salivating, before me is a well prepared porridge, anointed with red oil and we’ll decorated with alot of boiled egg.
so na all of this go just waste like that…….na lie” I said then sat beside it.
all this better food go just waste all in the name of sacrifice ” I said then I started eating it.
Me dat na only garri…i drink before i sleep” i said.
I continue eating without minding if anyone sees me, I continue then I thought of taking some for mama then I decided against it.
” Mama go kill danu danu” i said.
I ate till I finished it all and I even lick the calabash join.
oh boy this one na enjoyment ooo……ah swear I don miss, ah for Don they chop am since all this days na” I said then it down on me that there’s no water.
ah..ah…..dem no do am well na…..how dem go bring food and no put water join……e no good na ” I said as I throw away the calabash .
I went back home to drink water and wash my hands, then I jejely enter the room and lie down.
I was so happy on that day that I sleep happily.
This is how I started eating the sacrifice they brought, sometimes I eat only meat or full chicken, or sometimes only egg, sometimes I also see money which I pick.
This keep happening until one day these herbalist finally knew that I’m the one behind their failure.
Then caught me doing it and they told my mother about it.
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TBC
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Am I the only one that think this guy is actually crazy…..Imagine.
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