The Adventure Of Kúkù Jósẹ́fù: Episode 1 - 19 : TOPSTER STORIES

The Adventure Of Kúkù Jósẹ́fù – Episode 1

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(tђ㉫ คɗv㉫ɳtµ® ㉫ ✿ƒ kμkμ ʝ✿รɛԲμ)

 

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උɦคpt㉫® 1 (INTRO)

 

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W® ¡††㉫ñ bƴ: §€üññzz¥

 

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Author’s POV

 

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” Com buy ur fish ooo, com buy ur sweet fish heia, era eja yin oo, era ja ese be eee”

 

 

 

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Joseph mother is seen selling fish by the roadside along with others selling and also drawing the attention of the people passing by her goods.

 

 

 

” Coistoma come buy naw…..e sweet ooo,fine bobo,… customer come na” she advertised.

 

 

After shouting since morning for people to buy her good only a few people came by, so as she keep advertising not long after a man came to her.

 

 

 

” Oh customer, wellu come….

wich one you want, se na titus abi panla, abi na kote, abi make i kuku give

 

you shawa” joseph mother said.

 

 

” Mama

…just give me titus, how much mama?” The man asked.

 

” Emm…

i get am for #400, #500 and emm #600″ she answered.

 

” Haha…..

mama

.. it cost ooo….. can’t you sell the #500 own for #300″ he said.

 

” Haha….

ooga…no be so na…..

titus no be like that, make i kuku sell it for you for #400 ehh” the woman

 

said.

 

 

 

 

 

” Mama #350 or i no buy again, na 3 i wan buy” the man said.

 

” Haaa….

eh..eh….

first customer since morning eh…..

oya oga kuku bring moni…..abi wetin ah go do” she

 

said pitifully.

 

 

 

 

The man handed her the money and she started selling.

 

” Mama josefu……..

mama josefu…….mama josefu…..

mama josefu” a woman is running towards joseph

 

mother.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Who be dat?….who dey call me?” Joseph mother said looking around for the person then she see a young woman coming to her.

 

 

 

” mama josefu…..na here you dey” she said as she got to her.

 

” Yes na….wetin happen?” Joseph mother asked.

 

 

” Mama……na josefu oo….he dey fight with skul boys mama, four of them mama” the woman announced.

 

 

 

” Ahhh….eehe e he…this boy no go kuku kill me ehh…..abi deyy use fight do am ni…eh…” joseph mother said.

 

 

 

” Hope say e never wound anybody?” Mama asked.

 

 

 

” I don’t know mama…..i just say make i come tell you……they dey for that JJC joint” the woman said as she left.

 

 

 

” Okay my dawter, thank you oo…..eh josefu no go kuku kill me…….dis boy no go kuku kill me ooo” mama said trying to sell for the man before her before she can go.

 

 

 

” Mama…..why you dey ask if your pikin don wound pesin, he dey fight four people and you no care if they kill am” the man said.

 

 

 

” Ehh…..my son josefu….abi no be my pikin?…..uhm…..that one wey be say if hin dey fight 20 people they no dey beat am…..e be like say fight dey hin blood……e just like to fight……na only me fit hande am” mama said.

 

 

 

” Eh eh, ah na wa oo…..your pikin na something ooo, why you con dey worry yourself” the man said.

 

 

 

” Ahh….if dis boy wound anybody na me go kuku pay for am…na why be dat oo” she said then handed

 

the man his fish.

 

 

 

” Thank you ooo” she said as the man left.

 

” Mama Qudus, abeg help me dey watch my market….i dey com” Joseph’s mother say then left the

 

place.

 

 

 

Joseph’s POV

 

My people uhm…. poverty na disease oo, na confirm disease, i dey tell you cause na wetin dey kuku

 

happen to me na hin i kuku dey tell you.

 

 

 

I know you people go kuku dey wonder wetin i dey talk but na me know wetin i dey talk, na who rat bite na hin go kuku know how well hin dey pain pesin.

 

 

 

But Before i tell you anything about me i need you to read this lyrics or song or whatever cause it correspond to what’s happening in my life.

 

 

 

E just be like say the pesin wey sing am dey sing am for me, e be like say i don tell the pesin about my life before cause na wetin dey go on for my life be dat.

 

 

 

The song na Anytime by 9ice

 

 

 

Iriri Iriri nii

 

Isesi aiye mi

 

Ni ipinle ese mi

 

 

 

This life can be funny,

 

Look aroud you and tell me what you see

 

Iya kin she omi obe

 

BABA ma je kin je iya

 

Obe pade mi ni igunpa ni ama fin je’ba

 

Pelu eja shewa

 

 

 

I dey think about those days

 

At the same time, i dey think about how

 

Mama go bitter all day

 

She use to complain alot but then,

 

 

Omo boi no get much

 

I had to move her away

 

But, awon ti’le kin

 

9ice ti sa ni ile

 

Barriga born… koma le yi pada

 

Oju apa ko le jo oju ara

 

Anytime i think about those days,

 

That when i believe that, we really set

 

the pace

 

Anytime i remeber how the street dictates, some of us can even Scale through the bondage

 

It was a very big mess, as our lives was played like chess

 

I lost my very dear friend “Saheed Ishola” orun re re

 

 

 

Anytime the rain is falling

 

Me and my mummy

 

Ni’ se la mama gbon omi

 

We dont sleep when u guys are snorring

 

No tym

 

Eni ba lo’mo

 

Ogun le inu okonu

 

We no mind

 

We no sign

 

We put through all this hard times,

 

We no crime, no crime

 

 

 

Abule Stone, taught me the basics

 

CMS grammer school add to my credit

 

 

Everytime ni mo man lo si ile keu

 

Weekends ni ma’n kiri ata lo si odo behu

 

Mummy agba, you might be little affar

 

Just wanna let you know i love u die

 

 

 

Lati pinishin ni moti ja fafa

 

E’re pa lo man mu mi jarunpa

 

Mo man o’rrun tin ba ti ni kata

 

If i cant afford medicine, maya lo epo ……pupa

 

This are my beginings

 

 

 

Iri ni

 

Isesi aiye mi

 

Ni ipinle ese mi

 

Ohun oju mi ri

 

My begining

 

 

 

 

Now, motigbon, mo to ju bo, mo ja gbon,

 

Aiye yi oole

 

No condition stays for long

 

Ni aiye ijosi, olowo ni kola

 

Ni igba ode yii, tatoo di ohun ara

 

Ohun to je tiwa komama la fi ‘we

 

Araba tun ra mu, o se ohun are’re

 

Aiye yi oole

 

Omo eda adamo losoo ile aiye di ogun

 

Won so aiye di awa’ilo

 

 

 

mo ni omo ti mo’n to

 

 

Bi adigun se n gun oke ni won gbe ogun

 

But mo ti je ki oye won ni wipe

 

Aya fi olorun

 

Kowwa ton bi yege de yin, i am close to ……grammy

 

Those that stands behind me

 

The journey is so far

 

Ki ma ise kere mi

 

Ojo ti gbagun bo

 

Ohun oji ti ri

 

Enu ko le ro’yin

 

 

 

My name na josefu but many people kuku like to call me kuku josefu, I’m kuku fair in complexion and also i get dada (dreadlock) for my head.

 

 

 

I do alot of things and also i like to fight well well, I don’t mind who it is if you find my trouble you go see my trouble.

 

 

 

I kuku dey live with my mother mama josefu and we live in the village, before you kuku ask about my papa, i don’t know who my papa is, and that one na story for another time.

 

 

 

One more important thing that you should kuku know about my family is that WE ARE POOR, ahh…we are very very very very very very pooooor.

 

 

 

Infact we are the poorest family in the village, even if we are to kuku consider the world we go be like numba 4 and that’s how poor we are.

 

 

 

Lemme kuku use the lyrics of the song to kuku let you know more about us.

 

 

 

You see the part that say ” Iya kin she omi obe, BABA ma je kin je iya,

 

Obe pade mi ni igunpa ni ama fin je’ba Pelu eja shewa”

 

 

 

That part alone tell exactly how we eat sometimes na Eba in the morning and night cause we eat only two times in a day sometimes na ones but i no even mind.

 

 

 

The stew wey we dey use no different from ordinary water, the only difference is that Maggi and pepper dey there.

 

 

 

One day i was cooking egusi stew and i don add water already and hin don almost turn water then my mama con meet me.

 

 

 

The stew don done?” Mama asked as she come meet me.

 

e kuku Remain small ma” i said then mama checked it.

 

 

 

Haha….oo b’omi si ni (you never put water?)” She asked.

 

Mama i don put water na…see as it dey do naa” i said showing her how watery the stew is.

 

 

 

C’mon put something jooor……see you kuku know say na this stew we go kuku use for four days and we must manage am……i no get any money for hand oo even market sef no move……so let just kuku manage ourself as we see am okay” she said.

 

 

 

Okay mama” i said.

 

Oya put water” Mama said.

 

mama i don put am already……sebi i just put am now now” i said.

 

 

 

Na lie, i no see you c’mon put something….. haha you wan make everybody know say we dey cook” she said then i added more water which made it more watery.

 

 

 

Rice and beans cost for our village so na one in a month we dey chop rice but sometimes we dey chop beans.

 

 

 

Even the beans…holy blood of Zachariah…..the beans na water..water, after we shop the bean, we go

 

use the water to shop Eba for the next day.

 

 

 

Sometimes if we can’t afford the stew we use ordinary palm oil, or we can just eat it just like that.

 

 

 

And also the part wey say;

 

 

 

Anytime the rain is falling Me and my mummy

 

Ni’ se la mama gbon omi

 

We dont sleep when u guys are snorring”

 

 

 

Like i said the song is totally about us, we don’t really have a house, we live in an abandoned Hut, the wooden ceiling is partly destroyed.

 

 

 

Which cause water leaking inside the house anytime the rain is falling, we have to use many bucket to collect water but that doesn’t stop the water, after the rain stopped we will be arranging the house.

 

 

 

We don’t have a bathroom or toilet not even a kitchen, we have to go inside the bush to take our bath, even if we are to defecate, we go old school which is Shot put.

 

 

 

Only few people will know what shot put is.

 

 

 

Like i said we don’t have a kitchen as well so we cook right outside the house, we don’t have a stove either, we can’t afford to buy kerosene so we use dry branch and use stone to start fire.

 

 

 

My mama dey go party after party just to go collect food….people in our village don’t like us very much,

 

they say we are cursed.

 

 

 

So my mom go to other village to sell her market since people are not buying from her in our village, i will also tell you about our village later.

 

 

 

Another place said in song says;

 

 

 

Lati pinishin ni moti ja fafa

 

E’re pa lo man mu mi jarunpa

 

Mo man o’rrun tin ba ti ni kata

 

If i cant afford medicine, maya lo epo pupa

 

This are my beginings

 

 

 

Yes I’m smart and intelligent, at least i was cause right now my head is as empty as a Calabash.

 

 

 

I went to primary school and perform well, and i did my common entrance which i passed in flying colors.

 

 

 

I went to junior secondary school and did great as well I always took first. I will tell you about my junior school later but right now i think you should know the reason I’m now a dullard.

 

 

 

It happened when i was about to write my junior waec, we were told to pay #7,000 naira in school but we couldn’t afford it.

 

 

 

My mom tried her best infact she did everything she could to get the money but it’s like a impossible thing to do.

 

 

 

I even pray to God to help me out but it’s like the heaven close on that day, this prevented me from writing the exam 6 years ago.

 

 

 

So since I can’t afford the money for my education so i gave up on my education, that’s where i put full stop to my education.

 

 

 

This saddens my mom alot all she ever wanted is for me to be educated since she isn’t, she doesn’t want me to end up like her.

 

 

But since that’s how faith plays it we have no other choice, i help my mom out in the market then after a year she advised that i should start an afternoon lesson which we will be paying #50 naira everyday.

 

 

 

So since then I’ve been attending lessons but the knowledge i had then is never the same cause it’s been so long.

 

 

 

People say no condition is permanent but not like our own….. I don’t even believe in that statement at

 

all.

 

 

 

All my clothes are the one someone gave me four years ago, since then I don’t have any other cloth than that.

 

 

 

And all the clothes are worn-out but i don’t care, even my slippers have been repaired so many times, I don’t have belt so i use rope as my belt.

 

 

 

Some even say e go better, e go better…..e don tey wey i don dey hear that statement till now e never

 

better.

 

 

 

If not that my hair is dreadlock from birth I can’t even imagine how full my hair would’ve been like.

 

 

 

Poverty has been messing with our lives for a very long time, if poverty is a degree I’m telling you we would be graduate by now, infact with master’s degree.

 

 

 

If poverty is a competition we would’ve collect many Gold medals.

 

 

 

Poverty is a disease in our lives and since we are broke, we can’t afford the money to buy the cure.

 

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TBC

 

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Hmm….lemme no kuku talk much….i don kuku sit down jejely….let me kuku sit and kuku see the

 

outcome of kuku josefu.

 

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Don’t kuku forget to kuku like and kuku comment ooo.

 

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Tank yhu.

 

 

 

 

 

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(tђ㉫ คɗv㉫ɳtµ® ㉫ ✿ƒ kμkμ ʝ✿รɛԲμ)

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