Mr Irresistible: Episode 1 - 16???? : TOPSTER STORIES

Mr Irresistible – Episode 9

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✓✓Episode 9


**The next morning**


Me: who is that, that want to bring down my expensive door with knocks?


Adamu; sir, is me Adamu.


Me: the door is not locked, come in.


He comes in smiling….

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Me: can you stop showing me your brown teeth and tell me the reason, you are here this early?


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He entered the room smiling like those he


goats that have just finished eaten fresh.


Adamu; there are many girls outside.


Me; is that why you are smiling like you won lottery, see warn yourself ohhh… this is not Chidimma. I will cut off your Hausa carrot. Oya vamoose!


One thing I love about Adamu is his ability


to speak correct English mixed with thick


Hausa accent, that guy voice will just make


You smile even if your day has nothing to smile


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about, both of us are glued for life. I raise


my d**k up and wage it with my boxer band


I’d not like it to misbehave during the interview.


I went outside to meet 10 beautiful clean


girls with dangerous asses and biggacious


and sweetacious boobs, ahhh… I said it


my enemies and Village People have returned


from holiday with full force to destroy


my life.


Is not model audition for goodness


sake na housegirl job, Nigeria and no job.


Me: good morning, girls.


Girls: good morning, sir.


Me: you are all welcome, make yourself comfortable, you will be employed and also won’t be employed, the interview will commenced shortly, good luck.


I need to go and check what Adamu pasted


outside, am not seeing any ugly girl here oohh..


How will I survive with those sweet girls


Inside without s*x. Staring at the paper


I asked Adamu to paste, someone have


just sellotaped the ugly from it, this sellotape


have just taken my d**k peace.


I went


inside and proceed with the interview.


thank my master plan, I was interviewing


with my mouth cause my head is picturing


how I will bleep them when I employ


two girls to be my housegirl, my d**k was just


getting hard for nothing.


if not that we are outside I’d have banged one of the daughters of Eve, I finished 10bottles of water cause I was on heat, I must commend Nkiru and


Ejiro, both of them did well but with their


numbers with me, I don’t think I will employ


any of them, I will just go to church to ask


pastor to give me one of the prayer warrior


and devoted sister that will be my housegirl, Sambisa call came in interrupting my thought.


Me: Hello idiot


Sam: oga coma.


Me: Sambisa, the f****r in the forest.


Sam: hmm.. hmm. . Your new hot chick is starting work tomorrow, so when are you starting?


Me: who be my new hot chick? I never see housegirl, if I never employ one, I no go near office.


Sam: your new sextary, if you like dey f**k this one upadan, I trust Chibaby na 6ft sentence she go give you.




me Oh Lord from the daughters of Eve


and I’ll become ardent christain, I no even


ask Sambisa make em arrange two hot


holy holy sisters from em church.


Me: Sambisa, commot for my line *hissed*


Call cut… I called back


Me: hello, Sambisa


Sam: aahhh.. oga coma, why you dey call again, or you lost small memo due to coma?


Me: I no get time for your wahala, Sam. Which church you dey go?


Sambisa: L.W.F.S. ministry.


Me: thank God.


Sam: For?

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Me: you manage dey go church.


Sam: hmm…never thank am first oohh….


Me: na you sabi, you fit arrange two holy holy sisters from ona church to run my house package, I wan repent.


Sam: I fit arrange two sister M for you.


Me: I no want people where dey bear Mary as name.


Sam: who tell you say sister M na Mary.


Me: so na Mirabel?


Sam: no.


Me: Miracle?


Sam: no


Me: oboy, na who na?


Sam: two sister Monkey.. *line death*


Your father


Sam, the only option left is to call pastor


Jeremiah, hope he isn’t prophet of doom.


we have beautiful sisters and semi ugly


holy holy sisters, I dialed his number.


Me: Good Morning, pastor


Pastor: aahhh… brother Victor, you didn’t attend this past service, why?


Me: am just coming back from the hospital, have been sick.


Pastor: brother say you will never fall into the hands of sickness.


Me: I will never fall in the hands of sickness


Pastor: good, am coming to your house tomorrow.


Me: eehhnn… sir, I need a good sister that will help to keep my house clean, and I will pay for her services.


Pastor: no problem, am coming with one tomorrow.




Me: thank you, sir.


Pastor: you are welcome *called off*


I trust pastor Jeremiah, hope am not going to


be seeing monkey as my house girl in my


dreams to night.


what is the full meaning


of L.W.F.S ministry? Hmm.. Sam. Sam.










Mr irresistible


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