Endless Obsession – Episode 36
Episode 36
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⚘Asher⚘
I sit in my car in an old video store parking lot. I’m a couple blocks away from where Poppy is. I grip the steering wheel with white knuckles. I’m so close to her, yet so far away. I’m trying to talk myself out of going to see her, but I’m not doing a very good job. If I could just have a small glimpse of her, I know I could get control of this incessant need to be in her presence.
When I left work, I was a good little boy and went straight home. I didn’t make any detours to Olivia’s house like I desperately wanted to. I went home, took a shower, went down to the gym in my apartment building and worked out until my body felt like it was going to break. I went back and took another shower, then tried to watch a movie. Then I got hungry. I had no food in my house, so that meant I needed to go out and get something. Yes, I could have ordered in, but I was going crazy in my apartment and needed to get out. Now, my takeout is sitting in the seat beside me getting cold, and I’m two seconds away from breaking my promise to both Poppy and Olivia by going to see her. Maybe I can just take a peek in her window, see her beautiful face, then silently leave. No one would be the wiser.
She’ll never want anything to do with you again if you do. You’ll lose her trust forever, my stupid mind whispers.
I bang my head on the steering wheel, causing the already dull ache to intensify. I have got to get control of myself. I’m a grown fu.cking man; I should be able to control my emotions. I’ve always been in control of every aspect of my life, until Poppy came along. She’s stripped me of all reasoning and has turned my life into one hurricane of a mess after another. It’s a destruction on my senses that I’ll gladly live with for the rest of my life, but until I get to the part where I have her where I want her,fear I may combust.
The phone sitting up in the dock of my dash rings.
Mom calling
My knuckles hurt as I force them from around the steering wheel and grab my phone.
“Hey, Mom,” I sigh into the device.
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“Ash, honey, how are you?” she asks, her southern drawl slipping out.
I lean my head back against the headrest and close my eyes, exhaustion settling in. “I’m good. Everything all right at home?”
“It is. I was just calling to remind you of the get-together next week. You’re still coming, right?” Her voice sounds hopeful. I hate to disappoint her, but if Poppy still hasn’t accepted my apology, then I highly doubt I’ll be in any mood to be around anyone.
“I’ll have to let you know. I have some things going on at the moment that may prevent me from coming.”
“Oh no,” she says sadly. “I hope everything is okay with Poppy…”
She trails off, hoping I’ll enlighten her on the situation. I love my mom, and I’d do anything for her, but I’m not telling her my current problems with Poppy. She’ll only try to interfere. That, or I’ll never hear the end to her rants about keeping my feelings from Poppy quiet in the first place.
“I’ll let you know in a few days,” I inform her, going no further with it and changing the subject. “How well did Owen take to Kia being interested in that Noah boy?”
She huffs out a strained laugh, and I’m grateful she drops the Poppy topic.
“You should have seen his face when Bea told him. I thought he was going to pop a blood vessel. Of course he flatly refused to let her have anything to do with him at first. Kia threw a fit and screamed she hated him as she stomped off to her room. It took Bea hours to calm him enough to talk reasonably to her. He reluctantly agreed, but under the stipulation that she’s never to be alone with him.”
My lips tip up into a smirk. Owen is extremely protective of his girls, but I’m not surprised Bea was able to talk him down. He loves my sister and can never say no to her for long.
“He gave in easier than I would have. My daughter’s not dating until she’s thirty, and only if I like the guy.”
“Honey, there will never be a man that you like for your daughter. You’re setting her up to fail before she’s even born,” she notes, laughing.
“Well, then, it looks like she’s destined to never get married,” I mutter.
“Asher!” she scolds. “You can’t expect her to never marry just because you won’t accept she’s growing up.”
“Why are we even discussing this? I’m not even married yet, let alone have a kid.”
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Not that it won’t be long before that happens. Once I have Poppy back, I want to get her pregnant as soon as possible.
I hear a beep and pull the phone away from my ear to look at the screen. Pulling down the notification screen, I see it’s a text from Poppy.
“Mom, I’ve got to go. I’ll call you later,” I tell her quickly, already pulling the phone away from my ear to hang up.
“Wait!” she yells. I growl in frustration and put it back to my ear. “Whatever is happening between you and Poppy, it’ll work itself out,” she rushes out.
“I won’t have it any other way,” I say with conviction. “Love you, Mom, but I’m hanging up now.”
“Love you, too, sweetie.”
I end the call and immediately go to my messages. I leave moisture behind on the screen from my nervous, sweaty fingertips as I tap mine and Poppy’s text thread.
There are only a few messages in the folder, and the ones that are there are business related. All the others are on the phone I used as Sterling.
My heart leaps in my chest as I see Poppy’s text and a smile breaks across my face.
Poppy: I miss you.
After staring at the phone for several seconds to ensure I read it right, I drop it to the seat. My hands go to my keys, and I start my car.
She misses me. That has to say something, right? After seeing that, there’s no way I can stay away.
Two minutes later, I’m parking my car one house down from Olivia’s. The sun set about an hour ago, so it’s dark out, but the streetlights illuminate the streets pretty well. Indecision starts worming its way in. Olivia’s words from earlier has my hand slowing on the door handle. Am I making a mistake coming here? Will it push her further away?
I pull the handle and my door opens soundlessly. I’m here. I can’t be here and not see her. It’s physically impossible to just drive away now. I take my phone with me as I walk across the street, waving at the two men in the SUV parked in the empty driveway across from Liv’s house. I had Rex put another man on Poppy.
The houses and properties are big in this neighborhood, so it would be hard to spot me loitering. I stop outside the window Rex told me was Poppy’s. I don’t know if she’s inside her room, or if she’s in another part of the house, but standing here makes me feel closer to her. Instead of looking into the window, I force my back against the wall beside it. I send her a message.
Me: I’m here.
I stand and glance around as I wait for Poppy’s reply, hoping she doesn’t come storming out to tell me to leave, or worse, send Tony out. At least if Poppy comes out I would get to see her, even if she is mad. Olivia’s car is parked in the driveway so I know she’s home. I’m not sure about Tony, though.
My phone dings, and I hold my breath at
Poppy’s reply.
Poppy: Where?
I wonder if Olivia told Poppy of our conversation, and if she knows I know she’s here.
Me: At Olivia’s.
Fuck! I hope I don’t regret this.
I look down when my phone pings again.
Poppy: You shouldn’t be here.
My heart plummets to my stomach, making me feel sick. Then she sends another message.Kindly share out stories from generalloaded.com using the floating social media icon buttons on the bottom of the screen
Poppy: Why did you come?
I slowly type out my reply.
Me: Because I need to see you. I can’t think straight anymore. I tried, I swear I tried, Beautiful. Please, just let me look at you.
I sound like a pathetic obsessed creep, but I’m past the point of caring.
Poppy: Where are you?
I wonder if this is a trick question. Will she send Tony out here and have him tell me to leave? I’m not scared of him, but I’d prefer not to have to hurt Poppy’s best friend’s fiancé. That certainly won’t help my image in Poppy’s eyes. Not to mention, Olivia would get pissed, which would upset Poppy even more.
Praying I’m doing the right thing, I respond.
Me: Outside your window. And before you freak out, I haven’t looked inside. I’m standing here with my back against the wall, but it’s taking everything in me to not turn around and look.
Poppy deserves the truth and that’s what she’ll get.
Seconds later, I see a shadow appear on the ground beside me. I lift my head from the wall and turn it. I can’t see her that well, but there she is. I take a step forward and it feels like time stands still as she comes into view. The weight I’ve felt on my chest the last few days lightens dramatically. She looks more beautiful than I remember. She has on a black tank top with short white shorts. A small portion of her tanned stomach peeks out and my cock hardens at the sight. Her braid is
thrown over one shoulder. Her face is free of makeup and looks fresh. But her eyes look sad and slightly swollen. She looks broken. A piercing pain hits my chest, damn near causing me to stumble.
She stands there as I slowly walk closer to the window. I watch her reaction, making sure that my being here doesn’t upset her more. The window is slightly taller than me,so she has to look down to meet my eyes. Once I’m as close as I can get, I stop and just look at her, taking in her beauty.
I hold my breath as she lifts a hand and places her palm on the glass. Tears swim in her eyes, making my legs weak with the look. I fu.cking hate this distance between us.
I lift my hand and slowly bring it to the glass to place it over hers. I swear I can feel her heat through it. She bites her lip as she looks at our hands, so close to touching, yet still seeming miles away.
I still have my phone in my hand. I bring it up and briefly take my eyes off her as I tap her name to call her. She jerks, but doesn’t move to answer the ringing phone I can barely hear through the window. I spy it on the bed behind her.
When it goes to voicemail, I press the phone icon again and beg with a whisper,“Please.” She can’t hear me, but she can read the plea on my lips.
Pain and indecision are written all over her face. Just when I think she’s not going to answer, sending my heart to lodge in my throat, she drops her hand and walks over to the bed and picks it up. Bringing it to her ear, she turns around and looks back at me. She stays silent, but I can hear her rapid breathing. Her chest rising and falling attests to her heavy breaths.
“Poppy.” I breathe her name and hear her breath catch at my voice. “Come closer.”
She shakes her head and steps back.
“Please. Just to the window. You can keep it closed.” The pain I’m feeling at her refusal comes out in my voice.
She doesn’t move for several seconds, but then tentatively takes one step forward. My gut tightens when she stops again before moving forward another step. Three more steps has her only a couple feet away from the window, but it’s still not close enough. After a moment, she closes the distance between us. My hand’s still on the window, and I hope she puts hers back. I want that connection to her.
“Thank you,” I tell her softly.
She nods hesitantly.
“You look beautiful.”
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She still doesn’t say anything. I want to hear her voice.
“How are you doing?” I ask, trying to draw out a response from her.
“I’m okay.”
I close my eyes and rest my head against the glass as her sweet voice comes over the line. It’s been too long since I’ve heard it. It’s my favorite sound to hear, even when it sounds sad. I lift my head back up.
Her answer is a lie. I know it is. She’s far from okay, but she won’t admit that to me.
“Olivia told me about the phone call and flowers you received. Have you heard from him again?”
I feel a rush of rage at the reminder that I wasn’t there when the bastard frightened her. I have to force my hand to loosen on the phone before I crush it. I try to hide my reaction, but I know my anger seeps through.
She lifts her hand and puts it back where mine is still pressed against the glass. I immediately feel my anger waning. She calms me.
“I miss you so fu.cking much, Beautiful.” My words come out husky.
“Asher,” she whispers brokenly, only adding to my pain.
“I’m sorry.” I’ve said it before, and I’ll continue to say it until she believes and forgives me.
“Please don’t,” she begs, her eyes filling with tears, breaking my heart all over again. She drops her eyes from mine and closes them tightly. When she opens them again, a new resolve has replaced the pain. “You need to leave.”
We both keep our hands on the glass, neither making the first move.
“I’ll leave, but I won’t be far away.” Her eyes narrow, and I know where her mind goes. Before she has a chance to rebuke me, I clarify. “In here,” I tell her, tapping the glass where her chest is only inches away. “I’ll always be in there. Just as you’ll always be in here.” Now I tap my chest. “The second you need me, I’ll be here.”
A tear escapes down her cheek. Using the hand that was on the glass, she furiously wipes it away. I instantly feel the loss of connection with her hand gone. I drop mine to my side and take a step back.
“I know you hate me. I know I’ve done things that are hard for you to accept, and with good reason. I know right now you don’t want to have anything to do with me.” I take another couple steps back, putting myself in the shadows. “But I will never give up on you. It’ll kill me, but I’ll wait until the end of time if that’s what it takes.” She gets smaller as I take a few more steps back. “And if it so happens that you can’t ever forgive me, I’ll live the rest of my life alone. You are the only woman that will ever have my heart. The only woman that will ever have my body. No one, Poppy. Just you.”
Her hand comes to her mouth at the same time I hear her muffled sob. I ignore the fierce pain it causes me.
“I love you. Distrust my actions, hate me for what I’ve done, but don’t ever doubt my love for you. It’s strong, and will forever belong to you.”
She puts her hand back to the window and almost flattens her body against the glass, like she wants to call me back. I don’t let it stop me from moving back, further into the darkness.
“I’ll be waiting,” I whisper, and pull the phone from my ear.
My body trembles as I turn and walk away from her. Every muscle in my body is demanding I turn around. My heart screams at me to go back, to yank open the window and take her in my arms whether she allows me to or not. I have no doubt I could have talked her into opening the window. My words got to her. I saw her resolve weakening, but I need her to come to me. I won’t force her to make a decision she may regret later. Once she accepts me back into her life, there will be no going back.
Once I have her, I’m never letting her go
again.
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Tbc
Endless Obsession
