Anything For Rachel – Episode 36

#Episode_36

Patrick stared blankly forward until his phone buzzed. He pulled it out of his pocket slowly then placed it back. “I have to get back to the kitchen.” He said sadly, coming over to rest his hand on my shoulder for a moment. “I pray for option A for you.” He told me, then walked to the door.

“Patrick, wait.” Calvin called him, then rushed over to meet him at the door. “What was served for dinner tonight?” He asked him. I thought it was strange that at a time like this he wanted to know about food.

“Steak and potatoes, lamb and greens, and a twist on fish and chips.” He said, obviously equally as puzzled by the question.

“I see.” Calvin nodded. “Who was on the line to prepare the fish?”

Patrick furrowed his brows. “My kitchen team two.”

“Two?” He repeated and Patrick nodded.

“Thank you.” Calvin said courtly. “I will call you if anything changes.”

Octavia and Logan stood from the couch when Calvin came back over to join us. “I don’t know how you handle everything so well.” Octavia told me, reaching out to hold my hands. “I wish I had half of the strength that you have.”

I shook my head. “I don’t feel strong at all.” I admitted. “I feel in over my head and like I’m slowly drowning, but I have to…need to do something to save Rose, and I need to be near her again.” Logan stepped forward and gave me a one armed hugged.

“I know, Rach.” He muttered. “I’m scared like hell.” He told me.

“Option A.” He nodded to me as he let go.

“Option A.” I repeated.

Octavia went to follow Logan out. “I will go work on setting up a meeting for you and the council first thing tomorrow.” She said. “I’m praying for option A too.”

When everyone was gone, I could see the insecure look in Calvin’s eyes creep back in, especially when he looked across the room to the bloody wall. I walked around the couch to him and I wrapped my arms around his waist. He stiffened for a second, like he was surprised, but he finally relaxed and held me tighter. “I’m sorry, Rachel.” He apologized. “I still can’t believe that I lost my temper with you the way that I did.”

“Calvin, stop beating yourself up.” I sighed. “You may be a vampire, but you’re still just a person, you get stressed just like the rest of us.”

He stepped out of my grip and looked down at me seriously. “You can’t just dismiss what I did, Rachel.” He snapped. “You shouldn’t be ok with it.”

“I’m not ok with it.” I snapped at him. “I’m choosing to move on from it. I know that you didn’t mean to freak out, and you said you’re sorry.”

“Rachel, you can’t be serious.” He said, shaking his head and furrowing his brows. “It isn’t like I lost my temper and got snippy with you.” He said, slightly angry. “I yelled and screamed, I scared you on purpose and I threatened you. I could have killed you, Rachel. This is what I am, the monster in me that you hate.”

I could feel my face getting hot with annoyance and I rolled my eyes at him. “You aren’t a monster, Calvin.” I said agitatedly.

“You have to be one of the least monsterish people I know.” I added. “You lost your cool, Calvin. In all of the times I have been around you, that was the first time it has ever happened, that doesn’t make you a big terrible person. You need to give yourself a break.”

“Give myself a break?” He repeated. “You think I should just give myself a break?” He balled his hands. “I have been messing everything up for everyone forever!” He yelled. “I’m the reason everyone is unhappy and hurting. I don’t deserve to have you standing here loving me anyway. You should be upset, or angry, anything but being cool with it.”

I reared back and slapped him across the face as hard as I could with my right hand, then I did the same with the left, both my hands spiking with pain on the impact with his face. His eyes were side with shock, but I didn’t stop. I kept slapping him over and over until he caught my hands in his and held them still.

“Do you feel better now?” I yelled. “I’m mad at you now!” I said.

“You want me to tell you that you’re such a bad person. You want me to act like I can’t get passed who you are, or like I’m afraid of you now!” I yelled into his face. “But I’m not going to, because that isn’t true. If you want me to hit you so that you feel like I’m reacting the way that you want me to, then fine, but I won’t say things that I don’t mean.” I said. “I love you, Calvin, in all of your moods, I love you.” I told him. “I’m not running away, and I’m not going to change my mind.” I turned away from him and crossed my arms over my chest. “I don’t want to fight with you. I don’t understand why you want me to. With everything else going on right now, I don’t have room in me for any anger towards you…I need you.”

Calvin turned me around quickly, yanking me back into his chest and kissing the top of my head. “I’m sorry.” He said, shaking his head. “I’m so sorry.”

“Please don’t say sorry anymore.” I whispered, looking up to him.

He gazed down into my eyes and brushed his thumb across my cheek bone. “I don’t know what’s gotten into me either.” He admitted. “All the pressure, it’s getting to be too much. I’m worried about failing you more, and I’m worried about Rose.”

“I know that you are.” I told him, cradling his red face in my sore hands. “Please, just try to relax.” I told him, then grinned a little.

“I can have you some cobbler sent up if that would help you.”

He laughed through the stress and kissed my forehead. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too.” I promised.

He sighed, leaning into me more. “You promise that you aren’t angry with me, or disappointed in me?” He asked. “When I lost my cool you looked so…terrified.”

I chewed my lip and tried to give him a reassuring look. “I promise, Calvin.” I told him. “It was scary in the moment because I’d never seen that side of you, but I don’t think any less of you.”

“You prom-.”

I cut him off by pressing my lips to his. “I do.” I whispered.

Calvin stepped away from me slightly to turn on the music player in the corner, then he came back to me, wrapping me in his arms and swaying us back and forth. “You know that option A is likely not going to happen, right?” He finally asked after a while.

I nodded my head against his chest and then looked up at him.

“I know.” I whispered. “For just for tonight, can we pretend it will?” I asked. “One more night with you where things don’t look so bad?”

“Anything for you, Rachel.” He kissed me.

“Thank you.” I smiled at him, fighting the tears. I closed my eyes and leaned into him as he danced us slowly around the living room. I imagined that the council and Lexton were both excited to be moving forward together and that this was one of my last nights here before I get to go back to my life with Rose. I knew it was a lie, but I let myself believe it for now. “Calvin?”

“Yes?” He murmured over me.

“Screw the letters.” I told him and he stopped moving and looked down at me.

“I thought you said you wanted t-.”

I put my fingers to his lips. “When Rose and I go home, I don’t just want letters from you.” I told him. “I want you to call me.

Every. Single. Day. No matter what time it is, and I also want you to visit me at least once a month. I don’t want to go back to missing you all the time, and as much as I love your letters, I love your voice even more.” I smiled up at him. “I

don’t want it to even feel like we’re apart. I want you to know that I’m forever yours.”

“As you wish, my love.” He smiled down at me, his eyes light.

“I’ll still miss you all the time.”

“I’ll miss you too.” I sighed. “But I don’t have to be missing you right now.” I added, reaching up to pull his face down to mine to kiss him and then turn his head so that his ear was at my mouth. “I never got to show you what I wanted to show you earlier.” I reminded him and he narrowed his eyes wickedly at me as he leaned back and took my hand.

“Well, I for one, think we should rectify that issue right this very moment.” He chuckled as he pulled me into the bedroom.

I knew that option A was a dream, and that soon option B or C would be taking place, but for this one night, I wanted to believe that it had all worked out for us, and that we had found a successful way to trick the council, and Rose and I could have a normal life together. Everyone happy.

What I hadn’t known was that this was the last good night we would ever have in Castrum de Petra, and that option D was coming our way.

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ANYTHING FOR RACHEL