#28 (Pre Final)
I knew mum would be totally upset with me but I had to do this, my conscious just couldn’t let me if I didn’t do it.
I kissed Xenia on the cheek and told Kelvin to drive her safely; I was taking a detour and I was really hoping that the two would somehow try to fix what couldn’t work out between them.
The drive to intercontinental hotel was something that got me totally thinking about my life; it was the first time after my getting rid of the baby that I was taking some time alone to think. I wasn’t proud of the choices I had made in the past but I didn’t have the time or the energy to cry over spilt milk.
I pulled into the parking lot of the hotel and took a deep breath, this had to be done. If I was going to start over with my life, I had to apologize to certain people and it began here.
I removed the heels from my feet and settled for the slippers that I always kept at the back of the vehicle. She was staying in room E500, through my connections I had managed to get all the information I needed about where she was booked.
I walked into the hotel and talked to a few people that I recognized, I had given up my dog life but people never forgot that easily. I bet they still viewed me as that lady that came in drunk every Friday night with a different man and walked out alone on a Saturday morning. I wish I could have made better choices but hey; experience is a lousy teacher right? Allowing you to fail first before you can learn. I was standing before the door of E500; it was the best suite that the hotel had – the queen’s suite and I wasn’t shocked that it was the one she was booked in.
I knocked once and waited for someone to come and open, footsteps were fast approaching and I braced myself.
‘Can I help you?’ the lady asked
I took her in; she was what you can say almost like me. She was a yellow bone, the dress that hugged her perfect curves made me guess that she was one of the bridesmaids. On her feet were nicely painted nails. Her lips were a ruby red and she had a tattoo on her shoulder with the letters NT.
‘I asked you a question.’ She said this time impatiently
‘Sorry but I need to speak with the bride.’ I said realizing I had taken too much time looking at her
‘She is not expecting anyone.’ She told me this time banging the door in my face ‘Phew.’ I said wiping the invisible sweat from my forehead
I knocked again.
‘What the hell do you want?’ she asked this time screaming in my face
Isn’t it funny how same sides repel? I mean here was someone that looked like me and with an attitude like mine and yet she didn’t seem to get along with me. I knew she was the angry type and if she wanted to go ghetto I prepared myself for that
‘I told you the first time that I want to talk to the bride and since you are one of her maids; tell her that someone is at the door.’ I said angrily now squaring her
She looked taken back but I had no time to apologize because I wasn’t there for her.
‘Make it quick, the wedding is about to start.’ She said leaving some room so that I could go in
I walked into the room and I heard the door bang behind me, that was one angry bridesmaid. I noticed the bride sitting just before the huge mirror. From her reflection I noticed just how perfect she was, she was flawless. Whilst I struggled with acne and black heads her skin was just pure perfection, her makeup was well done. It was actually nu.de and her lipstick was a bright red; if I didn’t know better I would have guessed she was dressing up for a party and not an important ceremony like her wedding.
‘Babe someone is here to see you.’ The angry bridesmaid said
The bride stood up, she let the towel on her body drop to the floor. She was in black lingerie, had I not been straight I would have been drooling over her body. ‘Oops.’ She said bending over to pick it up
From the mirror we were able to see her behind, I noticed the change in attitude in the bridesmaid but she quickly shielded it, but it wasn’t in my place to start making assumptions so I just let it slide.
‘Xenosah right?’ she asked
I was caught off guard, I had no idea she knew my name.
‘Oh we met during the lunch at your father’s place.’ She quickly pointed out ‘Oh yeah.’ I responded now remembering that it was the first time I was meeting her
‘I bet you didn’t come here to congratulate me right?’ I smiled nervously
‘Can we have the room? Alone?’ I asked turning to look at the bridesmaid
‘Trisha please leave us.’
‘Excuse me?’ she asked
‘You heard me.’ Nandi said
I saw the hurt on Trisha’s face but Nandi was not changing the expression on her face.
When the door closed with a bang Nandi didn’t stop looking at it.
‘She will be back.’ She told me
True to her word it opened again
‘Don’t forget the ceremony will start in twenty.’ Trisha said
‘Now she is gone.’ Nandi said when the door closed with another bang She led us to the bed and sat down. I followed suit and sat next to her.
‘So will you tell me why you are here or maybe you want to help me dress up for my wedding?’ she asked angrily
Her voice was cold and it sent shivers down my spine, this was one hell of an angry bride.
‘I came to apologize for coming between you and Nthando.’ I managed to say She laughed, a laughter so loud I was afraid people in the other room heard it. ‘What are you finding funny?’ I asked when she couldn’t stop laughing ‘You do realize that this is my wedding day right?’ she asked
‘I know and I thought what is the best gift to give you than coming clean?’ She laughed again
‘I have heard so much about you Xeno, but I had no idea that you are a coward.’
She said now on her feet
She lost me there.
‘What did Nthando see in you anyway? I mean you are the town whore and you don’t have so much brains. An interior designer yes, but one that is trying to imitate her mother.’
The pain I was feeling was beyond me, I had made a share of mistakes but what right did she have to judge me?
‘Nandi you have no right to judge me, you don’t know what I have been through.’ I said my voice almost breaking.
‘Xenosah, first born in a family of two. Your mother had you when she was sixteen, she was abandoned by her parents. Poor woman. But that didn’t stop her from working towards her goals. She raised you girls in the best way possible but unfortunately your little sister was diagnosed with a heart problem that needed your mother’s attention and life.’
She paused as if trying to read my mind.
‘You were the jealous one amongst the two of you, when your mother was trying her best to stay sane for you two; you went on to being the promiscuous type. The one whose family was supposed not to be proud of but they never left your side.
You hated them and they continued to love you even more.’
‘What have I left out?’ she asked as I felt the hot tears burning my cheeks
‘Oh I almost forgot, you have never had anything close to love in your life because you shut your family out. Finding comfort in men who didn’t belong to you, as they came they released their bad omen in you and morning after did the trick not so?’
By this time I allowed more tears to fall, she had just opened wounds that I was trying so hard to make heal. My life flashed in my face in that moment, I saw those moments when I settled for less. When I used my body to try and get something like sanity and yet every other morning it left me more empty than I was.
‘I am sorry Nandi.’ I managed to say
‘You shouldn’t be apologizing to me, you should be feeling sorry for yourself for making such lousy decisions in your life. You should be trying to find ways right now to make up for everything you ever did.’ She said now screaming ‘You have no right to yell at me!’
She came to where I was and slapped me hard across the face
‘I have every right to be angry at you! At Trisha and every other girl that has had sex with Nthando whilst they knew he was with someone. Do you have an idea how much effort I put into our relationship? Do you have an idea what I had to do just to make him the man that he is today?’ ‘Nandi I swear I had no idea that he was engaged.’
‘And that is because you were just another loose whore on the street not so? That is because you were caring about getting sexually satisfied without thinking if anyone was going to get entangled in your mess.’
By this time she was also shedding some tears
‘At what point did you find out about me?’ she asked after cleaning her face ‘When I found out that I was pregnant.’
The words blurted out of my mouth, I didn’t want to say it but there was no turning back. I had come this far and now more than ever I had to tell the truth. I saw the blood drain from her face.
‘You were pregnant for my husband to be?’ she asked pointing at my belly I just nodded my head
‘And the baby? What happened?’
‘We got rid of it, I wasn’t ready to be a mother and his wedding to you was in a month. We couldn’t keep it.’
She laughed, it was like she loved laughing or maybe laughing made her sane. ‘You aborted your child because a man told you to? You killed an innocent child because you were selfish? You do realize you are a mother to dead child right?’ she asked with seriousness
‘I made my bed and now I will lay in it, I would have never been okay with myself if I let you get married to him with all these secrets.’ I said now on my feet I wiped the tears from my face and smiled at her
‘You will make a beautiful bride Nandi, you are beautiful.’ I said then walked away
I felt the strength in my joints drain immediately the door closed, this is not how I had expected my wedding day to go. Yes I had had bad dreams about it but I had no idea that Nthando’s ex fling would be the one to clear my mind.
I couldn’t end up with a man like him, I mean he was good looking and intelligent but never was I going to spend the rest of my entire life with a man like him.
I walked to the closet and picked out my little black dress, Trisha had stopped me from buying it saying that it was too revealing. Whore had the guts to tell me that when she was sleeping with my man. I was one hell of an angry bride and I was going to make sure that I burnt the whole place down before walking away.
I slipped into it, it was a tight short dress with lace on each side exposing my skin. I put on black heels and a black fascinator in my hair, my lips being the only different color. Nthando had made a fool out of me for too long and now I was ready to show him that he couldn’t anymore.
I grabbed my phone from the bed and car keys, the walk to the garden where the ceremony was taking place felt like a walk to freedom.
It was decorated in ocean blue and Azure, I had done everything on my own. Picking out what I liked, going for the cake tasting, looking for vendors whilst my would have been husband was busy with the lady I once called my best friend. She was the first to spot me, she came running towards me with a worried look.
‘Babe what are you doing?’ she asked
By this time people had spotted me and were walking in my direction
I met a waiter halfway with glasses of Champaign and got a bottle from him ‘Thank you.’ I said popping it open and drinking from it
Nthando’s best man signaled for him to look in my direction and now he was running towards me
‘Nandi what is the meaning of this?’ he asked looking scared ‘Babe please you need to get dressed.’ Trisha said ‘Babe?’ I asked followed by laughter
‘Aren’t you two ashamed, pretending to be my closest friends whilst you sleep with each other?’ I asked causing them to look shocked
I laughed again
‘Well dear husband to be, I will not be married to pieces of you. I am not ready to give my whole to half of you. All my life I have been taught to wait for the right man, the man that was going to sweep me off my feet and make me his woman. I was taught to work tirelessly in the kitchen so that he wouldn’t go to bed on an empty stomach, I was taught to whine my waist and move so swift so that his sexual needs would be satisfied. Hell was I taught to keep my legs closed for him. And what were you taught?’ I asked allowing the tears to stain my face with the black mascara in mixture
‘Babe we can talk about this.’ He begged
‘No Nthando, there is nothing to talk about. You hurt me, you did wrong by me and by yourself and you were willing to make a covenant before God and your family with all these lies. You are not the man I will spend forever and a day with. You need to grow up, you need to work on yourself.’ I said then turned to Trisha ‘I have loved you like a sister, treated you like a part of me. But how can you be fighting for equality with men when you are willing to lay under another woman’s man? I wish you nothing but the worst in life and I do hope that karma comes knocking at your door soon.’ I said then drunk from the bottle of champagne and walked away like a boss.