Solitude – Episode 6

SOLITUDE

_6_

When I opened my eyes it was pitch black outside, the curtains were still open and lucky for me the headache was gone. I slowly got up realizing that I wasn’t in the right house, I needed to go home.

‘Good evening.’ August greeted

He had changed into a pair of shorts and a t shirt, it was only now I was realizing how good looking he was.

‘Good evening.’ I responded looking at the wall clock

I didn’t realize I slept that much, I guess it was because I had not gotten any sleep the previous night.

‘I cooked you something.’ He says not looking away from his lap top

‘You didn’t have to, I need to go home.’

‘After you eat.’

‘That is not necessary.’ I argue

He puts his laptop down then looks at me.

‘Fine.’ He responds

‘That went well.’ I think to myself

He tells me he needs to change into something more comfortable before he can drop me home, so I wait in the living room for him.

When he is back, he is clad in a sweat pants and slippers with a long sleeved shirt. The drive to my place is quiet; I don’t know this man and just because he helped me doesn’t mean that I have to be friendly to him. I don’t even want to log into Facebook because I have enough hate mail to handle.

‘Thank you for the ride.’ I say when we park in front of my place

‘You are welcome.’ He responds

‘There is something I have been meaning to tell you.’ He says just before I open the door

‘I am your Lawyer.’

He says it with no emotion attached to it.

‘Lawyer?’

‘Mrs. Chanda left all that information with me.’

‘But why didn’t you share it in the meeting yesterday?’

‘Because it wasn’t for Chibesa and Chanda, it was for you.’

‘This is all too much to take in.’ I said with a deep sigh

‘I don’t know why she put you in charge of her firm and I don’t want to know why but I guess she had a good reason.’ He says

I don’t respond, I can clearly see that it’s all professional work with Augustin. I thank him for everything then get off the vehicle, he drives off even before I enter the gate.

I am starving when I get in the house, I haven’t had anything to eat since yesterday morning. I know it will be hard to stomach anything so I make some mushroom soup. It is cooking as I take a bath. After finishing I settle into my pajamas, I doubt I will get any sleep because I have been sleeping all afternoon.

I get my soup, as the first spoon hits my mouth thoughts of Chileshe hit me.

*

‘Please eat this.’ I said to her

‘Please don’t force a grown up woman to eat soup, what nonsense is this?’

I want to smack her head but she is older than me so I decide against it.

Chanda walks in on us and eyes her mother.

‘What is happening here?’

‘She is running down with a fever.’ I respond

‘Then why doesn’t she see a doctor?’

‘A doctor will just prescribe medicine to her and she already has enough in her system.’ I say feeding her some more

‘Stop babysitting her, if she can’t see a doctor why not get to work?’ An irritated Chanda asks before she walks away

I see the sadness in Chileshe’s eyes, she loves her daughter with everything in her but Chanda hasn’t exactly been the child any mother would wish for.

‘She will come around.’ I say in defense

‘She won’t, I don’t know where I went wrong with her.’ She complains

I rubbed her shoulders just to make her feel better, I saw her relax before she grabbed the plate to feed herself the soup.

‘Your mother was a fool to put you up for adoption, I would give anything to have you as a daughter.’

That had caught me by surpise but I didn’t respond.

*

I couldn’t finish because the soup had gotten cold from reminiscing, this was going to be hard for me.

I picked up a book from my bookshelf and decided to read it, I needed to keep myself busy because if I continued like this I would lose it. Yes Chileshe was gone and as much as it hurt I had to find a way of learning to live without her. Also, I needed to make her proud wherever she was, I had to make sure the firm was still running.

*

It had been a week since the burial, I don’t know if she knew that her death was coming because all her emails were now copied in my name.

I looked at myself in the mirror to make sure I was looking okay; I was in a mustard high waist skirt, an army green shirt and matching shoes. My hand bag was mustard. I sighed knowing this is a look that Chileshe would have gone for any day, picking up my coffee flask and car keys – I walked out of my house. I knew what I was up against and I was prepared to face it all.

I took a deep breath as I walked into the glass walls, it felt different. It was void. I remember a time when I was excited about coming through but now I owned it, I was terrified at the realization.

Chileshe’s schedule was still at the back of my head, I knew Mondays were for meetings. She had always filled me in and now it was beginning to make sense.

I didn’t greet anyone as I walked, I was a wreck but I walked as if I owned the place, duh I did. The few people I walked past whispered things to each other, others smiled at me whilst others looked at me with pity.

‘Look who decided to show up.’ Chanda said just as I walked into the boardroom

‘Good morning Ms. Chanda.’ I responded instead and I saw her face tighten

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‘Since everyone is here, I would like for us to get started.’ Brian began, I had heard so much about him from Chileshe. He was a booty licker and I was so sure this time around he was in Chanda’s favor

‘Sorry to interrupt you Brian but I think I will take over this meeting.’ I said getting up and I saw how Chanda looked at me