Solitude – Episode 25

SOLITUDE

 

_25_

 

In life; no one is guaranteed a Cinderella ending, we all want a little piece and peace of haven but it can never really be assured that, that is how it will end.

 

 

I look at myself on the mirror, I can barely recognize the person that I am looking at. The reflection facing me, is mad. She is angry and fierce.

 

I pat dry my face and wipe with a face cloth before walking out of the bathroom.

 

August is working from my office, I found him there when I got back from the orphanage. I had not said a word to him or anyone else except dug into work.

 

‘Did you go to the orphanage?’ He asks not looking up from his work

 

‘I did.’ I respond packing up

 

It’s already after 6PM and I have never been more grateful for a weekend than I am right now, I don’t think my body and mind can use another working day.

 

‘Whenever you are ready to talk about it, I will be here.’

 

‘Thank you.’ I say genuinely appreciative

 

I say my goodbyes then walk out. The drive home is quite draining, there is nothing at this point that is making any sense to me, a while ago everything was okay and now I am made to believe that everything I have ever believed in is a lie.

 

As if my day hasn’t been bad enough, I get home and find Mrs. Nakamba waiting for me.

 

‘Good evening.’ She says

 

I take her in, she is in a red puma tracksuit.

 

‘What do you want here?’ I ask

 

She sighs

 

‘I am not your enemy Agatha.’

 

‘My name is Nella.’

 

 

‘Agatha is your birth name.’

 

I look at her intently

 

She shakes her head

 

‘That was your birth name.’

 

‘My birth name?’ I ask my eyes as clear as ice staring into hers

 

‘I am not here to tell you that I am sorry for putting you up for adoption, I am not even here to try and make up things.’

 

She pauses

 

‘I came here to tell you how bad my husband is, he will not let this go until he destroys you. Give him what he wants.’

 

I want to laugh but my humor fails me

 

‘You wasted your time coming here.’

 

‘I did you a favor by giving you up, he was going to kill you.’

 

‘Then maybe you shouldn’t have stolen me from my biological mother.’

 

She opens her mouth to say something but then closes it again

 

‘Yes ma’am I know and I would advise you stay away from me, I will fight and protect the firm with everything in me and if and when I decide to sell it be rest assured that it won’t be to you or your husband.’

 

‘He has a good offer, Chanda thinks it’s a good offer too. Just take it so that there is no blood shed.’

 

‘Are you threatening me?’

 

 

‘No I am warning you.’

 

I chuckle

 

‘Well it seems to me that you and your husband are of the same cloth, and as such I would advise that you both stay away from me.’

 

‘Agatha.’

 

‘Leave my house.’

 

‘Ba Martin!’

 

‘Yes madam.’ My gateman shouts coming towards me

 

‘The next time this woman shows up here throw her out, if you must, call the police on her.’ I say then drive inside

 

***

 

I have been parked in the car park for the past thirty minutes, I don’t know if I am ready to get into the house because the last time I was here I discovered some ugly truths.

 

‘One way or the other you will have to face me.’ A text comes through from Chanda

 

I am guessing she is in the house and has been watching me here all the while.

 

I sigh deeply then walk to the house, the lights are turned off except the one in the kitchen. The place smells like grilled chicken and mashed potatoes

 

‘You cooked?’

 

She smiles

 

 

Chanda doesn’t cook, never has. I have always been doing that for us and if I don’t we eat out.

 

‘I wanted to keep myself busy or I was going to go mad.’ I smile at her jitteriness

 

‘I hope you like it.’ She says handing me a plate ‘Thank you.’

 

I must confess the food really looks and smells nice, plus I am hungry.

 

We start to eat.

 

‘How was your day?’ She asks picking at her food ‘It was okay, busy and productive.’

 

She smiles

 

‘And how was your day?’

 

She sighs

 

‘Hard.’

 

‘You want to talk about it?’

 

‘I want to sell the firm.’

 

I put my cutlery down

 

‘Yah I know it’s crazy.’

 

‘What is really going on?’

 

 

‘August this is bigger than me, I am losing myself.’ She confesses a lone tear escaping her eye

 

I go to where she is seated and touch her shoulders lovingly, she rests her head on my chest.

 

‘You are a strong woman Chanda, I know you will overcome this.’

 

She shakes her head

 

‘This is bigger than me.’

 

I haven’t seen her this broken in a long time.

 

‘I miss mum.’ She confesses as more tears fall

 

‘I should have been a better child, I should have loved her better. In the process of trying to be like her I lost myself, I lost the opportunity to just show her how much I loved her and appreciate her for all the sacrifices she made.’

 

‘Not all hope is lost, you can still do better to honor her memory.’

 

‘It’s too late August.’

 

‘Chanda she left you to run the firm alongside Nella, not by accident. She knew what she was doing and I am certain even in her grave she would want for the two of you to work as a team.’

 

‘She wasn’t my mother.’

 

‘What?’

 

‘Chileshe wasn’t my biological mother.’ She says with a smile

 

‘But how?’

 

 

‘I saw how she treated Nella, I was curious. I wanted to know the truth until I stumbled upon it, I don’t know how she did it but I was never really hers. So many times I wanted to ask but the more she got closer to Nella the more I felt that she would have preferred to have gotten her at infancy.’

 

‘Your mother loved you.’

 

‘She loved Nella more.’

 

‘Is that why this thing with Chibesa started? The need to be loved?’

 

She shrugs

 

‘I was a scape goat?’

 

‘I needed to put up an appearance.’

 

‘Do you love him?’

 

‘Does it matter?’

 

‘It does to me.’

 

‘Not as much as he loves the benefits of being with me.’

 

‘Does he know?’

 

‘No, never told a soul until now.’

 

‘But why did you tag me along?’

 

‘You were my sanity August, you are so different from Chibesa. Being with you was way better than being with him.’

 

‘But he was a better lover, wasn’t he?’

 

‘Come on now, you know sex is just in the head.’

 

 

‘And I guess it was love on the brain.’ I say with humor She smiles

 

‘I wish I had told you earlier.’

 

‘I wish you didn’t drag me along.’

 

There is silence.

 

‘Are you going to try to work with her? Nella I mean.’ ‘I am not promising a happy ending but I will.’ ‘You promise?’

 

She nods her head.

 

‘I guess I better get going, I will ask someone to pick my things.’ ‘So this is good bye?’

 

‘I guess so.’ She responds with a smile

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‘Hey.’ I say stopping her in her tracks

 

‘Yes?’

 

‘I loved my life with you.’

 

‘So did I.’ She responds with a smile