Solitude – Episode 22

SOLITUDE

 

-22-

 

AUGUST

 

I don’t know what to feel, they are so many emotions that are going through me. I want answers desperately but I also know another minute in this place is going to make me sick.

 

‘Baby please let’s talk.’ She begs holding her gown tightly

 

I almost want to laugh, I look at how her well done nails are holding on to the red satin material; oh how I love those fingers trailing my skin. Now I have questions, how long has this been going on for? Was it me? Was it what I did? Have I been doing anything wrong and she was too afraid to talk to me?’

 

‘Baby please.’ She begs again bringing me back from my reverie

 

‘What exactly do you want to talk about?’ I ask wanting to laugh

 

‘Anything, just anything you want to find out but don’t shut me out.’

 

‘Chanda just tell me one thing, why would you do that to yourself?’

 

 

‘Babe it’s baby not Chanda, call me baby.’

 

I want to laugh, I am really amused right now.

 

‘Let me get going, I don’t want to drive in the dark.’

 

‘So, you are going to cheat on me with her when you know how much I hate her.’

 

‘Cheat on you?’

 

‘August I am sorry, I can’t change what you just saw. I am not even about to start explaining what it is exactly that is happening but all I want you to know is that I love you.’

 

‘You should be in a circus, because you are such a clown to think that I am going to stand here and believe every word you have to say.’

 

I walk out without giving her another chance to talk, I know this is my house that I am leaving behind but I would rather be away from her and leave her with the place than try to get answers out of her because I don’t trust what I might end up doing.

 

I drive back to Nella’s in silence, I have some clothes in the back and I am hoping she won’t think that I am taking advantage of her.

 

‘Hai.’ She says shock registered on her face when I show up at her door step

 

‘I am sorry Nella, but I didn’t have anywhere to go to.’

 

‘Excuse me?’

 

‘Something happened at home and I thought maybe I can crush here.’

 

She looks at me sympathetically

 

‘August this is wrong.’

 

 

‘I know and I am sorry but if I stay in a hotel room, I might just end up drowning myself in alcohol and I don’t want to walk that path.’

 

‘Don’t you have friends? Anyone?’

 

I shake my head

 

‘You are only spending the night here on one condition.’

 

‘Anything.’

 

‘That I know what is happening.’ She says

 

I don’t know if I am ready to open up because it still seems like it is not real even to me.

 

We get into the house and surprisingly she doesn’t ask me anything.

 

‘I am working on something in the bedroom, please make yourself at home.’ She says

 

I don’t see her again the entire night, Chanda has been trying to call me but I keep cutting her calls. I am not interested in anything that she is going to tell me.

 

The following morning, I wake up pretty early, I want to pass through home first so that I can get a few things.

 

‘Good morning.’ Nella says

 

‘Good morning.’ I say noticing the dark circles under her eyes

 

‘You don’t look okay.’

 

‘I barely slept, kept turning and tossing so ended up working the entire night.’

 

‘And you want to go to work?’

 

 

‘I have a company to run August.’ She responds then keeps quiet ‘It’s finally kicking in.’

 

‘What other alternative do I have?’ she questions walking over to the coffee machine

 

She makes two cups and hands me one. ‘You look nice by the way.’ I compliment ‘Thank you.’ She responds

 

She is wearing a navy-blue dress that hugs her figure well, on top is her gown; obviously because she doesn’t want to mess up her dress.

 

‘What happened to you last night?’ she asks sipping on her coffee

 

I knew one way or the other this question would pop up and I wasn’t exactly ready to give out the answers

 

‘Chanda is cheating on me.’

 

‘She is?’

 

‘Yes.’ I say with a sigh now standing up

 

‘Did she tell you that?’

 

‘I caught her in the act.’

 

Nella almost chokes on her coffee, spitting it all out as she coughs ‘Drink some water.’ I offer giving her a glass ‘Are you okay?’

 

 

‘I am fine now.’ She responds clearing her throat

 

‘But I thought you drove home yesterday.’

 

‘Yes.’

 

‘You found her in your house?’

 

‘Unfortunately.’

 

‘Wow.’ She responds

 

‘Chanda is cheating on me with Chibesa.’

 

‘Oh, that.’ She responds shocking me

 

‘Nella?’

 

She stands up and puts the mug and glass cups in the sink

 

‘Nella what do you know?’

 

‘Nothing that you don’t already know August, let me get to work before I delay.’

 

‘Nella please tell me what you know.’ I beg

 

She sighs

 

‘I don’t know how deep this thing is between them but one-time Chileshe came to my house in tears, it was the first time I ever saw her that vulnerable. She cried so hard I didn’t know what to do, so I just let her spend the night. The following morning, she told me she had caught the two in the act.’

 

‘How old were they?’

 

‘Chanda should have been twenty or nineteen I can’t quite remember.’

 

 

‘So, it has been going on for that long?’

 

‘I don’t want to agree to that but that is all I know, Chileshe never mentioned anything after that. I don’t even know if they talked about it afterwards but if she didn’t say anything to me it was because it was none of my business and I didn’t ask.’

 

‘I was hoping it had stopped hey.’ She added going to her room

 

Now I was left more confused, so this thing didn’t start today and I was so sure that there was nothing I could do that would make it stop.

 

‘I mean if she loves you then the two of you are cool right?’ Nella asks now carrying her things ready to go out

 

‘Nella.’

 

‘August you have a choice here, to leave her or to stay with her. From what we have both seen this is not a habit that was birthed today, and I am sorry if I sound like I don’t have hopes in her changing but do you think Chibesa will let this go without a fight?’

 

I just look at her

 

‘Chileshe could have fired Chibesa, she could have disowned him. But that was her real relation, her sister’s son and we all know the story with Chanda.’

 

‘But how come Chileshe kept quiet?’

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‘That is what I am trying to find out and I am pretty sure it is about to get dirty so I hope you are ready to tuck your emotions away whilst we get to find out the truth.’

 

‘I love Chanda.’

 

‘August sometimes love is not enough.’

 

‘But.’

 

‘Do yourself a favor and think critically about all this, if you need a friend a talk to, I will be here.’

 

‘Thank you.’

 

Anytime