ME: will it look like the real one?
SEGE: at least 80% real
ME: so how do we go about it?
SEGE: the time is just 8pm. Let’s rush down to the
cafe down the street to make the print outs
ME: Are we still going to find a cafe by this time?
SeGE: hopefully, we should.
ME: but I don’t have much on me at the moment
SEGE: don’t worry, I still have like 1k on me.
ME: ok, how about the original credentials with
Adebimpe?, am I going to forget it just like that?
SEGE: my guy, when we find a successful alternative,
then we can now talk about how to retrieve the one
your wife is holding.
ME: which wife be that?
SEGE: your lovely Adebimpe **laughed**
ME: you no well, the girl wey be say I go kill any day
I see her
SEGE: the onihaxy that I know will always fall again
and again on Adebimpe’s lap anyday anytime.
ME: **laughs**. Seriously sege. You know well
SEGE: na lie?
ME: honestly, e be like say that girl dey use charm on
SEGE: no be charm, na her juicy honeypot dey kill
ME: abeg forget bimpe matter jaree. Let’s go to the
We walked out of the room and I locked my door, we
walked down the street and found out that the cafe
had closed. We trekked to the next cafe and we
found out that it had been closed also.
ME: sege, what do we do now?,
SEGE: maybe till tomorrow be that.
I saw segun off and I returned back to my house. I
felt relieved and eased. I began to get hungry and
regaining appetite for food. I dropped my phone on
my bed and went to my kitchen to prepare noodles. I
was about to empty the sachet of the noodles into
the pot when my phone was ringing. I rushed to see
who is calling and it was my uncle. I picked up the
ME: hello sir
UNCLE: aburo, how are you?
ME: I’m fine sir
UNCLE: ehn ehn. My chairman said he is travelling by
10am tomorrow morning,
UNCLE: you know what that means?
ME: no sir
UNCLE: you have to follow early morning bus. You
must be here latest 8am in the morning so that he
can attend to you before travelling.
ME: ok sir. Thank you very much sir.
UNCLE: ***hanged up*****
I suddenly lost appetite again and I began to
soliloquies, “this must be the handiwork of the people
from my village”.
After few minutes of soliloquies, I looked up to the
wall and the time was few minutes to 10pm. What
will I do now?, I have nobody else to talk to apart
from segun. I picked my phone to chat with him.
ME: sege, how you dey?
SEGE: I dey fine ooo. Hope you don dey prepare for
ME: prepare kee?, wahala don dey ooo
SEGE: wetin happen?
ME: my uncle just called me now.
SEGE: na wetin him talk?. He say the job no sure
ME: he talk say the chairman dey travel tomorrow
morning by 10am. So I must reach b4 8am.
SEGE: haa!!, how you go do your credentials stuffs
ME: I no know ooo.
SEGE: ok, there is an alternative.
ME: what is it?
SEGE: use your phone to access your mail and
download them from your email and save it on your
ME: how will I print it then?
SEGE: I will come to your place very early tomorrow
morning around 5:30 to give you a card reader. You
will insert your memory card inside it and print the
stuffs at any computer centre when you get to Ado.
ME: ok jaree. That’s ma boy
SEGE: that’s my guy too. Bimpe’s surest husband
ME: I no like am ooo.
SEGE: no worry, na me go best you on your wedding
ME: you no well.
I logged into my mail and found my Bsc and NYsc
certificates only from my sent box. I downloaded
both of them. I then realised that it was only the
frontpage of my Bsc result I scanned. I didn’t
scanned the backpage and the bagepage has my
school logo and text imprint on it just like that of the
front page. I logged in back to my whatsapp to
SEGE: how far guy?. You don download am.
ME: yeah, but there is a problem
SEGE: what is it?
ME: my oracle certificate wasn’t scanned along
during that period.
SEGE: what about the B.sc and NYSC?
ME: I was able to retrieve those ones.
SEGE: that is cool. You can generate an excuse for
the missing oracle certificate when you get there
ME: ok, but the Bsc result I downloaded doesn’t have
SEGE: backpage as how?
ME: on our certificate. The logo of our school and
some text imprints are on the back page with two
SEGE: is the backpage the same for every
ME: yes, just the logo and the school name written
imprinted on it.
SEGE: don’t worry. I have a guy who schooled and
graduated from your school 2 years ago and serving
presently. I will get intouch with him and scan the
backpage of his document and send to your
whatsapp before you reach Ado.
ME: **took a deep breath***, thanks jaree my guy.
You are too much
SEGE: what are we friends for
ME: my mind just settle small
SEGE: start rehearsing a genuine excuse you will
provide for the missing oracle certificate
ME: ok jare padi mi.
SEGUN: abeg, I wan post something on my blog, we
go chat later.
ME: ok, goodnite.
I slept off few minutes later until I heard a knock and
a harsh voice on my door around 2am to open up or I
loose my life. I thought I was dreaming, it was when
the knocks and threat was getting intense that I
realised that they are armed robbers. Behold, I
opened out of fear and my laptop and my Blackberry
phone was carted away.
I just couldn’t cry. I was just dump and clueless.
“No doubt, Adebimpe has been going spiritual on me,
I don dey suspect say this girl na Emere” I thought.