Adebimpe, The Facebook Girl ???? (Season 9) Episode 1 - 24

Adebimpe: The Facebook Girl – Episode 223 & 224

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As I was walking and crying along the road in ikeja, I was thinking of where next to go to.
“Should I go to Akure?”
“But what will I tell my people over there?”
“What will be my explanation for coming back home three months after travelling?”
“What will I explain to them when I arrive without any bag and luggage on me?”
“Even if I have to go to Akure, where do I get transport fare from?”
“Where next will I go to now?”
After several thoughts, I decided that I would go to my cousin’s place in Mushin where I used to live before I relocated to Maryland. But as at when I was deciding, I had no money on me and I resorted to road side begging for about three hours until I was able to raise six hundred naira, I ate at a roadside canteen out of the money and I used the rest to take transport to Mushin. I hanged around somewhere until late in the night before I eventually went to my cousin’s place because I don’t want anyone to see me. I arrived there at 10pm in the night and the guys there started hailing me.
“Onihaxy baba!!!!!!!!!!!!”
“When did you arrive?”
“Which hotel did you lodge into so that we can come and collect goodies?”
“What did you bring for us now?”
“You didn’t even call us that you are coming”.
After all their hailing and exaltations, I took a deep breath and told them that I was deported. They asked what happened and I told them that a friend kept a box at my place and unknown to me, it was drugs. cops came, searched my room, found the box and I was deported as a result. Before I knew it, the crowd that was hailing me previously started making jest of me except for few that were consoling me. I couldn’t help it but to cry so hard again that night.
The next day, I got a phone from someone and I called Segun to tell him what happened.
ME: hello Segun.
SEGE: hello Onihaxy, this is a Nigerian number. Are you roaming?
ME: I am not roaming oooo. I am now in Nigeria.
SEGE: haaaa, what happened?
ME: ****Explained all that happened*****
SEGE: eeyaah, so sorry about that. No wonder, I have been trying your number and it wasn’t reachable.
ME: ***sighed*** my brother, you won’tbelieve that I was sent back home without anything. I never expected Betty to go that far.
SEGE: I feel your pain Onihaxy. In fact, I am sharing in the suffering right now.
ME: what happened?
SEGE: you won’t believe that Sandra called me last night and called off the relationship.
ME: haaaaa, on what grounds?
SEGE: she said Betty explained all what happened to her and she couldn’t trust me anymore.
ME: haaaa, why are we having this bad luck?
SEGE: Onihaxy, what has happened as already happened. I have moved on and you should do the same. What matter most now is for you to pick up the pieces of your life and start afresh.
ME: I am so fed up.
SEGE: God knows that it wasn’t your fault. You were forced and deceived into all these things. What mattered most are the lessons we learnt. Atleast, Betty is still keeping your child and that alone is an assurance that both of you are still connected.
ME: what is the benefit of a child that I won’t be able to afford flight ticket to visit?
SEGE: don’t say that again Onihaxy, don’t ever think that you can’t make it in life. You have been on top before and I strongly believe that you will exceed your previous status with strong dedication.
ME: Alright Segun, thank you.
SEGE: I think you should call Funmi and tell her that you want to resume work at the bank; I believe she can still help you.
ME: but what will I tell people who would question my strange return to the bank?
SEGE: it’s simple, you and your wife decided to relocate back to Nigeria. And besides, you have no business what people are saying. People will always gossip and life continues.
ME: alright friend, thank you very much. I will call her and give you a feedback later.
SEGE: no problem, you don’t have to be depressed, we are into this together. And I believe something; anything that belongs to you will never be taken away from you. IfBetty is really your wife whom God choose for you, you guys will definitely get back together someday.
We ended the call and I begged my cousin to give me N200 to buy recharge card which he did, I recharged my phone and called Funmi.
ME: Hello Funmi.
FUNMI: hello, who am I speaking with please?
ME: it’s me Onihaxy.
FUNMI: Onihaxy?, this is a Nigerian number. What is happening?
ME: my wife and I relocated back to Nigeria three days ago.
FUNMI: hope no problem?, why the quick relocation.
ME: our pastor told us to come back home because our success and wealth lies in Nigeria. he said no matter how long we stayed abroad, we would never make it there.
FUNMI: eeyah, that is cool. Nigeria is a land blessed with lots of opportunities.
ME: thank you.
FUNMI: you are welcome. Youcan’t even call me since you left Nigeria.
ME: I am so sorry about that,
FUNMI: no problems, hope you are fine.
ME: No, I am not. That is why I am calling. Please, I need your help.
FUNMI: My help?, what is that?
ME: please help me, I want to resume back to the bank
FUNMI: haaaaaaa, that will be very difficult oooooo.
ME: please help me Funmilayo.
FUNMI: first, there is no vacancy at the moment. Secondly, you can’t work around me because of Adeola; she must not see us together again. She almost committed suicide when she saw us together the last time. I don’t want to lose my daughter please.
ME: haaaa. So no hope for me?
FUNMI: I am sorry Onihaxy; I can’t help you with that request.
ME: no problem, thank you very much ***hanged up*****
chai!!!!!!, the devil is really dealing with me…

Adebimpe: The Facebook Girl – Episode 224

I cried so hard immediately after Funmi’s call; my cry was so loud that my cousin had to come closer to me and consoled me. I hated myself, I hated life, I hate everything about me and I started considering suicide. I was still shocked to believe that Funmilayo just refused to help me despite our closeness and relationship in the past before I travelled out, I wondered if it wasn’t the same Funmi that I used to know. At a point, I had to check the number I dialed to see if I actually called the correct number and I realized that I actually dialed the correct number.
The following week, I wanted to start applying for jobs and I realized that I have left all my credentials in the United Kingdom, I then remembered that I once scanned copies of the credentials to my email and I had to beg people around to give me money which I used in re-printing them from my mail. I had to practically beg people for everything for the first one month of my stay in Mushin until I was able to secure a teaching job with a local nursery and primary with a salary of ten thousand naira monthly. It was hell as I was managing with that job for the next eight months because I couldn’t secure another better job, I was feeding from hand to mouth and sometimes, I ended up borrowing money before the end of the month. Segun tried his best and he always send some money to me.
I changed colour from fair to black as a result of the hot sun and poor working conditions, I also grew lean and I couldn’t afford to buy new wears anymore. In fact, it was really a “hell on earth” experience. Throughout this period, I always tried calling Betty’s phone to beg her and seek for her forgiveness but she would never pick up. Sometimes when she heard my voice, the next thing she always do was to cut me off. I sent several emails and text messages and I got no response, I then decided to take off my mind completely from Betty and focus on the next phase of my life.
After one year of suffering in Lagos without anything to show for it, I made up my mind and decided to relocate back to Akure, little did I know that I was coming home to face another round of humiliation. The people who have always been respecting me and looking up to me began to mock me and call me “UK rejected” and several other names, crying now became my hobby as I couldn’t do without crying anytime I was been humiliated and disgraced. When I couldn’t bear this anymore, I discussed with Segun and I relocated to his house where I don’t have anyone to recognize me. After another four months of walking around and looking for job, I found another teaching job with a salary of N9,000 (nine thousand naira) which was one thousand naira lesser that the one I had in Lagos. I was so happy that I now have something doing and Segun will be a little bit relieved from taking all the responsibilities in the house. The suffering and smiling continued for another two years in Akure making it a total of three years of suffering since I was deported back to Nigeria.
Towards the end of the fourth year after I was deported, things began to change for Segun and I was amazed and surprised. Segun started giving me huge sum of money, sometimes fifty thousand naira, sometimes sevevnty thousand naira and I began to wonder where he was getting the money from, I couldn’t keep to myself and I had to ask him one day about where he was getting the money from and why he started giving me huge money unlike before when he used to give me two thousand naira at maximum. He chuckled and said he said “ Onihaxy, I am now doing some business online which is paying me so well and I decided to be sharing the proceeds with you since I have benefitted a lot from too when you were rich”. On hearing this, tears rolled out of my eyes as I hugged him and thanked him for accommodating me and taking care of me. I was so happy for having him as a friend because Segun was the only person among all my friends who really looked after me since I was deported back to Nigeria.
I started dressing well since Segun started to give me Money and I began to look good. I also started saving part of the money and planning to start up a cybercafé business with it years later when I must have saved up enough capital. I got tired of my teaching job and I walked up to Segun one Saturday Morning to discuss with him.
ME: Segun, Please we need to talk.
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SEGE: really?, what is that?
ME: see, I am tired of this teaching job of N9, 000 every month. I don’t think I can continue with it again.
SEGE: then what do you want to do?, have you gotten a new job?
ME: not really. I am thinking maybe you can introduce me to your online business so that I can be earning much money also like you.
SEGE: ***laughed out loudly***
ME: ***curious**** why are you laughing now?, is it funny?
SEGE: yes na. You mean that you want to quit your job because of an online job you knew nothing much about?
ME: but you can teach me about it now?, you know I am a fast learner. Or is it a sacred job that I can’t know about?
SEGE: sacred job like what?
ME: maybe like yahoo yahoo, relationship scam, hacking, or Online cult.
SEGE: **laughed out loudly*** you are so funny Onihaxy.
ME: this is not a laughing matter Segun; I am very serious about it. Pity me now; this is my fifth year in Nigeria after deportation. No reasonable job, no future ambition, no much savings, no girlfriend not to talk of marriage.
SEGE: you are the one that doesn’t want to have a girlfriend now; there are lots of girls around.
ME: how do you expect me to have a girlfriend when I don’t even have enough to feed myself not to talk of maintaining the girl?Please now.
SEGE: ok, you know what; continue with your teaching Job. The two ladies that introduced me to the job will be visiting next month. I will introduce you to them when they are around.
ME: oooh. Thank you very much, I can’t wait.

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