Adebimpe: The Facebook Girl – Episode 20

ME: ***dropped the phone and turned to kemi****.

My love, please wait for few minutes, he would be

here.

KEMI: ooooooh God, I don’t like all this things, my

family must have be looking for me now.

ME: ***pats her on her laps*** I’m so sorry my love.

Please I’m sorry.

KEMI: ok, I will wait for only 20minutes. Go and get

my recharge card for me first.

ME: ***chaii, gbese!!!!!!!!, how I go take escape this

one oooooooo!!!**** ok dear.

KEMI: please hurry up.

ME : ok, let me go out and get it.

I picked my phone, went out of the house and chat

with segun.

ME: sege how far? Where you dey?

SEGE: I dey inside the joint wey dey down the street.

ME: ok,

SEGE: wetin your babe dey talk?

ME: she say she go wait for 20 minutes for you to be

back

SEGE: funny. She go wait tire ooo. Just find means

take discharge her for today. She go come back

tomorrow.

ME: who tell you that one?

SEGE: I know her type, she no go wan miss the awuf

outing.

ME:hmmmm, I hear. But she dey demand for card

oooo

SEGE: like how much?

ME: 400naira.

SEGE: e no too much na, afterall you go pay olosho

800naira per round of sex if you go ashawo joint . Go

buy am give her.

ME: I hear.

I went to the vendor and purchased a 400naira mtn

and returned to the room to give her. She smiled

when she received it and I know that she would be

like “since recharge card don sure, shopping too go

sure ni yen oooo”. After about 17minutes of

meaningless gist, she became uncomfortable again

and she began to ask of segun. I picked the phone to

call again.

ME: sege, where are you?

SEGE: I dey on queue.

ME: please hurry up, my wife need to return on time.

SEGE: there are many people infront of me oo, it will

take me about 40minutes to be back home.

ME: ok, just hurry up. **hanged up***

KEMI: I’m not sure I could wait again, I need to

return home before my family began to look for me.

ME: if they are searching for you, they would have

called you on phone

KEMI: I didn’t come with my main line that they have.

ME: huuuuuh, eyah.

KEMI: let me go, we would see tomorrow.

ME: **yinmu***, and I wish you could stay a little ooo

KEMI: no I can’t, tell your brother that I can’t wait.

We would see tomorrow.

ME: ok my love.

Kemi stood up from the bed and we both walked out

of the door. I waved at a bikeman and told him

where to drop kemi. I paid the bikeman and kemi was

driven off. About 3 seconds later, I got a whatsapp

message on my phone from segun, ” my guy

welldone, you don dey sharp small small”. I smiled on

raised my head up to the opposite direction and I

saw segun walking towards me.

 

Segun and I went inside my room, we began to

discuss.

ME: sege, that babe tight ooooo

SEGUN: tight as how?

ME: I mean the hole still tight

SEGUN: ***hissed***, I thought you meant “she is

fine”

ME: but she fine small oooo

SEGUN: na true, pass bimpe sebi?

ME: ***got furious**** for where?, she no even reach

half of bimpe’s standard **** argument continues***

SEGE: ****counter argument*** she fine pass bimpe,

she get burst pass bimpe.

ME: “lailai” this one wey get pimples?, for

where?………..

SEGE: *** pats me on the laps****, onihaxy my guy, I

just wanted to hear what you would say. I know still

like this your bimpe.

ME: hmmmmmmmm

SEGE: its very obvious, if it could be possible, I know

you can reconcile with her again.

ME: no be so jaree. Kemi no just fine reach bimpe.

SEGE: onihaxy onihaxy!!!, “oko bimpe”

ME: you no well

SEGE: just go and do HIV test, you hear?

ME: let’s put that aside jare, how is tomorrow going

to be?

SEGE: **** re-adjusted sitting position***, onihaxy, I

dey reason something

ME: what is that?

SEGE: let’s forget about any show tomorrow.

ME: why?

SEGE: there is nothing to defend yourself with.

ME: how?

SEGE: by now, she believed I must have returned

from bank and the money must have been ready.

ME: so?

SEGE: what would be your excuse for not taking her

out tomorrow?

ME: ***hmmmmmmmm** and you have points

oooooo. So what do I do now?

SEGE: sebi you don Bleep her today, that one don

reach, just excuse her for tomorrow.

ME: give me an idea to use

SEGE: ******thoughts for a while*****. You know

what?

ME: what?

SEGE: just call her this night and tell her that your

boss called you to come to work tomorrow morning

but you will leave on time so as to have the chance

to take her out.

ME: it doesn’t make any sense, she would still be

expecting an outing.

SEGE: chai, you no get any sense at all.

ME: oya borrow me senses jaree

SEGE: when its tomorrow morning, you will keep on

calling her at intervals telling her to give you little

more time and that you would soon be through. You

would keep posting her until the time is gone and

spoilt.

ME: ***shake hands with segun***, sege baba. Chaii,

I never reasoned to that instance sha. You too get

sense.

SeGE: you no well ni. I told you, girls don’t scam me,

na me dey scam girls.

ME: sege baba ***hails**

SEGE: “oko bimpe, oko kemi”….

Segun and I had more discussions until he left for his

house. I saw him off and came back inside my room

to call kemi as instructed by segun.

ME: hello love.

KEMI: hi dear, you couldn’t even call me since

morning

ME: I’m so sorry dear.

KEMI: no problem, is bro segun back

ME: ****silent****** hello, I can’t hear you.

KEMI: I said “is bro segun back”?,

ME: ** stammered**, not yet, but he called me just

now that he is on his way coming

KEMI: ok, so tomorrow, I would come in the morning,

and please I want to return early because today, my

family members were insulting me for going out. So

I’m sneaking out tomorrow.

ME: dear, errrrrhmmmmm. There is a little problem

KEMI: what is that dear?

ME: my boss just called that I should come to work

tomorrow morning for some assignment.

KEMI: haaaaa.

ME: don’t worry dear, I would leave there on time so

as to have time with you.

KEMI: ok, where is your office located?

ME: oba adeshida road.

KEMI: no problem, I would come and meet you at

work tomorrow and we would go for the shopping

directly from there?

ME: *******yeeee, I don jam****, ok dear

KEMI: and if you weren’t able to finish your work

ontime. I would collect the money from you when I

meet you at work tomorrow and then do the

shoppings on my own

ME: ****** I don enter am*** ok love

KEMI: alright dear

ME: good night ****hanged up****