Adebimpe: The Facebook Girl – Episode 10

Written & Produced by ONIHAXY.

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………………8 weeks later.

SEGE: onihaxy, I don dey notice you all these days

ooooo

ME: wetin happen? ***raised eyebrow***

SEGE: since that bimpe Dam don comot, you just dey

dull this days.

ME: hmmmmmm

SEGE: this one no be the matter of “hmmmmmmm”,

you sure say that girl never wash pant inside food for

you?, infact, I dey suspect say she don lace her

pusssy with juju.

ME: not really jaree. I just like bimpe and I keep

thinking about her. I don’t know why sha.

SEGE: **** laughs loudly*** hahahahahahahahaha.

My Baddest Maga ever liveth, I know say no be the

girl dey worry you, na her pusssy, hahahahaha

****pats me on the laps and kept laughing****

ME: stop that jaree.

SEGE: hahahahahahaha. Chaii, na so her toto sweet

reach??, onihaxy talk true, e be like say that girl dey

give you special deliveries on bed.

ME: “segun je ka serious jaree” I just love this girl

sha, I don’t know why I can’t take her off my mind.

SEGE: guy, tell me say na joke!!

ME: segun, no be joke, I don tell you something like

this before?.

SEGE: ***hissed*** “ode”, instead of you to go for an

H.I.V test abi na AIDS dem dey call am, you are here

mourning about one Dam.

ME: you won’t understand sha.

SEGE: hahahahahaha, why won’t I understand?, e be

like say you were destined to be her maga for life.

ME: no segun, I always have this feelings that the

judgement we gave her was too harsh.

SEGE: and so?, “iyen o kan aye men”. That is the

minimum judgement a Dam deserves,

ME: stop it jor.

SEGE: she should thank her stars that it wasn’t in

the period that I was desperate to have money, I for

don take her do rituals.

ME: segun haba!!!.

SEGE: na so now. I no know why you carry sword-

man’s abandon Kitty-Cat for head like this?, you don

dey craze oo Mr maga

ME: segun you know what? ****adjusted my sitting

position****, I keep wondering how she would get

back to port-harcourt without T.fare as she didn’t

have money on her.

SEGE: that one simple now, no be runs girl she be?,

sebi na to sell her toto give two or three guys for

bustop and make money.

ME: segun!!!!!!!!

SEGE: yes now mr maga, or patapata e, she go sell

her phone to make money, maybe that’s why her

number no dey go again sef?.

ME: hmmmmmmmmmm!. Oga oooo.

SEGUN : ogbeni forget matter jaree, I dey go my

house to prepare for tomorrow’s work.

ME: ok jaree padi e,

SEGUN: mr maga, you no go see me off?

ME: ***frowned*** no dey call me “maga” again jor, I

no like am jare.

SEGE: you dey craze, na certified maga you be. If not

for me, maybe you for don sell all your properties

give bimpe.

ME: na you sabi. Let me see you off.

SEGE: hahahahahahaha. If you like, kill yourself ontop

one yeye bimpe ooo, you hear!!!!. Who knows?, maybe

she dey ontop another dicck right now rocking

cowgirl’s style. Abi no be that girl?

ME: wetin do am?

SEGE: chaiiii, that girl fit Bleep ontop transformer

ooooo.

ME: ***laughs*** segun, na you sabi, come dey go

your house abeg. I will branch at your place

tomorrow when I’m coming back from work.

SEGE: no wahala mr maga “hahahahaha”. My regards

to adebimpe oooooo. Hahahahaha.

ME: you no well.

Segun left my house, I sat down on my chair and

began to review all that happened between me and

adebimpe.

 

**********************************

After segun’s departure, I began to reason and think of

why I still loved this girl despite all what she did to me,

the more I think of her, the more I was lost in my

thoughts. I couldn’t figure out what really could prompt

such feelings. “Could she had jazzed me?”

“Maybe segun was right sha!”

“Abi she truly laced her Kitty-Cat?”

“Abi na the waist bead she used?”

“But the judgement was harsh oo”

“But she deserved it na”

“But she is pretty and cute oo”

“What if she was flirting secretly?”

“What if I didn’t find out?”.

“Who knows if she might change?”

“Who know if she had cursed me?”

“How did she get to PH sef?”

“Abi she was killed ni?”

“Maybe she is dead at the moment?”

“Her number no dey go again”

“Even her FB has been dormant”

“But I liked that girl oooo”

“She is really smart sha”

“It takes only smart girl to play game”

I was lost in thoughts and asking myself all sort

rhetorical questions and there was no one beside me to

provide answers to it.

I picked my phone to check her profile on my facebook

but I couldn’t see her on my friend list and search

results. I tried checking again and the result was still

empty. It was then that I remembered that she had

blocked me on the same day segun sent her away.

I tried logging in into her account but the screen was

showing “incorrect password”. **chaiii, this girl don

change password sha*****

I created another facebook account and searched for

her name from my new account and it was displayed,

but the account was dormant for the past 5 weeks. No

new update, no new uploads.

I dropped the phone and while I was still lost in my

thoughts about Adebimpe, my phone was ringing, I

moved closer to the bed to see who was calling and I

was shocked to see the name that appeared on the

screen.

I looked at the screen of my phone. It was kemi. I also

met kemi online before my encounter with bimpe. She

claimed to be based in lagos according to her back

then when we met 9 months ago.

She told me she was a fashion designer and also a

part time student of yabatech at the same time. After

3 weeks of chating when we met, she sent her phone

number to me on facebook after several pleas. Our

friendship became interesting that we were fond of

each other, I would always call her in the morning,

afternoon, and night. I would sent series of sms to

kemi and she would also send hers.

After few weeks of friendship, I asked her out and she

gave me a pending response. I never gave up on kemi

as I kept pressurising her to be mine, convincing her

with sweet and mouth-watering talks. I never seized to

bombard her with my specially designed love sms.

Alas, she finally agreed to be my girlfriend and the

official E-dating started 6 months ago..

At the beginning of the E-dating, everything was going

smooth, I was always looking forward to the day I

would get to see kemi face to face. We began to plan

how we would meet and I never had the feelings that it

was a distance affairs, I always have this possibility

and positivity kind of mindset that we would be

together someday no matter how long the “E-dating”

lasted.

About 2 month into the relationship, things began to

get complicated. Kemi no longer call or text me like

she used to do before, conversation began to get

boring as the day passes by and to crown it all, kemi

would always be on my neck for airtime credits.

At first, I didn’t find any fault or problem in sending

airtime to her. I had this mentality that she is my

girlfriend and I am responsible for recharging her phone

so that other guys wouldn’t snatch her from me. But

along the line, I was getting uncomfortable with the

card of a thing. Kemi would not call on a good day to

greet me on check on me, anytime my phone rings and

I picked, the conversation is always “baby please send

me card”, and the funniest thing was that she would

only flash me or call to tell me “baby, I have seen the

card, thanks” and she would hang up. It was when she

needed another card that she would dial my number

again. The whole thing got boring to me and I began to

loose interest in kemi gradually, it got to a time that I

stopped calling her also. When she calls to ask for

airtime as usual, I would promise her that I would send

it and ended up not sending anything, when she finally

realized that airtime isn’t coming forth from me

anymore, the communication was broken finally as she

no longer calls again neither do I call her also. And 4

months ago was the last time we spoke together.

Seeing her call again, I was shocked and surprised, I

was like “so this girl still have my number all this

while?”. I stopped thinking about bimpe and I picked

the call.

ME: hello

KEMI: hi onihaxy, nawa for you oooo, you didn’t even

bother to call me again. This is unfair

ME: I’m so sorry kemi, I lost my phone, and I got a new

phone and lost the former contacts.

KEMI: onihaxy!!!!!!!, so how did you know its me.

ME: I recognised your voice, I got to know that its you

when you said “hello” KEMI: ok dear, how are you?, I

have missed you ooooo.

ME: ****yinmu, “oloshi, may thunder fire you if you

demand for card again today”****** I missed you too

dear.

KEMI: I just called to tell you that I’m attending a

wedding in akure next weekend. I would see you when

I’m around.

ME: its ok, can’t wait to see you.

KEMI: are you sure?

ME: yes

KEMI: ok dear. Baby please help me with little airtime

please.

ME: ***oloshi****, ok, but not now

KEMI: when?, I need it urgently please.

ME: I’m not at home at the moment and I didn’t go

with my wallet, maybe when I get back home sha.

KEMI: thanks dear, I will be expecting it. Can’t wait to

see you next weekend.

ME: can’t wait to see you too. Bye

KEMI: bye ***hanged up******

Yeah, its time for me to get a “pension sex” for all my

wasted investment******************