Anything For Rachel – Episode 21

Episode_21 ✔

 

 

 

The night, or day, not quite sure which, had been long and restless.

 

Talking to Rose had only helped marginally because I missed her so much that hearing her sweet little voice only made me hurt worse once the call was over. She was still enjoying her time.

 

She couldn’t tell me where she was, but apparently she and Pedro had been having all sorts of adventures. She told me about riding ponies, and going swimming, and that she had apparently acquired a new puppy, although I had always told her no when she asked for one. I’d only been able to talk to her for a few minutes before

 

 

she was in too big of a hurry to go get ice cream to be bothered with her boring old mom.

 

I was glad she was happy, but I wished so badly that I could see her face. I wanted to actually see her smile.

 

I got out of bed, not sure how long I had really slept for. The clock on the bedside table had apparently died a long time ago, and since no one was allowed into the room, the batteries went unchanged. I padded across the carpet and went into the bathroom, glad that the little music player that Calvin had gotten me was still sitting on the counter. I walked over to it and flipped through the selections before finding something that I thought might raise my spirits.

 

I turned the music loud, not wanting to have any ability to think over it.

 

I stripped down and hopped into the gloriously large shower. I might not have missed much about this place, but the showers, and my old tub, were definitely high on my list of the few things I did. I set the water to a high heat and climbed in, scrubbing away all of the bad feelings and regrets that I’ve been carrying around with me since I got here. I needed to get out of the funk. I needed to feel alive again.

 

I took my time, pretending I had no place else to be as I used all the hot water taking extra time to deep condition my hair, before finally stepping back out of the shower with red but clean skin. All of my old things were still here. My soaps, brushes, clothes, shoes, everything was here. I washed my face and brushed my teeth before digging up my robe and adjusting it to my body, realizing that my blue silk robe was something else that I had in fact missed.

 

I was about to rummage through the closet when a noise at the door made me jump, pulling the robe tighter. The door pushed open and Octavia stuck her head in. “Sorry.” She smiled. “I knocked, but I didn’t think you heard.”

 

“I didn’t, but you can come in.” I told her and she walked in, a large paper bag in her hand.

 

 

“I thought you might want some newer things.” She shrugged, passing it over. “Some of it is mine, but we are about the same size, so it should all fit you.”

 

I glanced in and was beyond thankful to see a pair of jeans and another pair of dark grey sweats lying on the top, two things I was never given in my first stay here. “Thank you.” I grinned at her.

 

“No problem.” She shrugged. “I know most of your things are pretty formal.”

 

She brushed her long black hair over her shoulder and pursed her lips. “I really like that lipstick.” I complimented her.

 

She grinned from ear to ear, tilting her head, then reaching over into the bag, digging down into the bottom and pulling out two tubes of lipstick and handing them to me. “Matte color wasn’t really in five years ago, so I figured your makeup collection could use an upgrade.” She laughed. “Want me to help you get ready? Or do you want me to call for some maidens?”

 

“No, I don’t mind doing it myself.” I told her. “Although,” I said as I took a closer look at her makeup. “I wouldn’t mind if you’d teach me how to get my eyes to look like that.”

 

“It would be my pleasure.” She smiled, pointing over to the vanity. I sat down and she brushed my hair back and looked down at me carefully. “So have you been told yet?” She asked softly.

 

“Crap, what now?” I asked.

 

She smiled while biting her lip. “There is a ball tonight.”

 

“Already?”

 

She nodded. “We haven’t done anything like this in so long, so the people are pretty excited about it.” She grinned. “It’s a ball in your honor, but we will also be announcing the competition, so it’s kind of a back handed honor.” She shrugged.

 

 

“Great.” I groaned, the only thing getting me through the thoughts of how terrible this sounded was the memory that the balls typically have pretty great spreads of food. “What time?”

 

“Not for a few hours.” She smiled.

 

I closed my eyes as she brushed my hair, and though I had said I could get myself ready, I relaxed in my chair and just enjoyed being pampered for a little while. “Can I ask you something?” I smiled.

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“Anything.” She replied.

 

“You said that Logan is staying in a room near yours?”

 

“Yes, and I am assuming you want to know how he was after the fight and your talk?” She looked down at me and I bit my lip and nodded. “Well, he was obviously very upset.” She said gently. “But when I talked to him, he did seem like he kind of understood.” She told me. “He’s a tough guy, and I hope you don’t mind, but I had talked to him about how your last visit here had gone and we watched some of the old footage. I think he honestly knew what was coming, and I know that won’t make you feel better, but I think he’s going to be alright.”

 

I sighed, thinking of that sad look he had on his face when he left here. “I really hope he will be.” I said. “He deserves to be happy.”

 

Octavia nodded her head. “Yeah.” She agreed and I narrowed my eyes at her but she recovered her cool. “So, do you also want to know about the other man in your life?” She asked.

 

I looked up at her as she spun my chair around and started to do my makeup. “You know that I do.” I smiled.

 

“He was pretty shaken after the little confrontation.” She said.

 

“He thought that Logan had made some fair points and he started wondering if maybe he had stolen your feelings and got off on a big thing about how Stockholm syndrome was a real thing and that maybe you had suffered it. Blah, blah, blah. I

 

 

talked him off that ledge, but then of course what Logan said about Rose really hurt him too. I told Logan that he was really hitting below the belt with that comment.”

 

“Yeah, he was.”

 

She shrugged her shoulders. “That one was harder to get him to move on from.” She said softly. “You have no idea how much he loves Rose, even if he’s never met her. He has done everything he has to try to protect you and her both, and he beats himself up over it when he feels like he is failing you.”

 

“He’s not failing me.” I told her, dropping my eyes and frowning.

 

“He’s too hard on himself.”

 

Octavia nodded her head, then flipped her hair back over her shoulder. “I tell him that all the time.” She said nonchalantly.

 

I bit my lip as she applied my eye makeup, fanning it out dramatically like hers and making my eyes look fuller and more dynamic. I watched her face as she put her things away and I couldn’t help noticing again how gorgeous she was. “You and Calvin…?”

 

She titled her head and frowned at me. “Everyone is convinced of the idea that we have a thing together, but he is literally like my brother to me. The council always gives me a hard time even though I am a member too because they think I’ve got the king’s ear.” She shrugged. “I promise you, you have nothing to worry about. I don’t have any interest in stealing someone else’s guy, I want my own love. Plus, Calvin only has eyes for one girl.” She smiled down at me and I hated myself for feeling insecure.

 

“Can I talk to him before the stupid ball?” I asked. “I told him I’d come talk to him but after breaking up with Logan I just couldn’t.”

 

“Of course.” She smiled then checked her watch. “You’ve got time. He should be coming back to his room in a few minutes, but you can go ahead and go over if you want. I will send someone in about an hour to do your hair and bring you your dress.”

 

 

I stood up and reached out to hug her. She was a little surprised at first, but then she giggled, her laugh infectious, and she hugged me back. “Thank you for everything.” I told her.

 

“Of course.” She grinned at me as we separated. “I’m glad that you are here.”

 

“You are?”

 

She smiled shyly. “I was a big fan, if that doesn’t sound too weird.”

 

“Nothing strikes me as weird these days.”

 

We walked to the door together and she pushed the button for the elevator when we went out into the small corridor. As she climbed in she looked back over to me and winked. “Go get your man.”

 

I laughed and rolled my eyes as I turned the knob to Calvin’s suite.

 

When I walked in I was struck again at how much had really changed around here in five years. The suite was transformed just like everything else. It no longer looked like a posh decorated cavernous suite, but instead it looked like a real apartment. There were white walls with various paintings hung around, and the old living area/bar, was now a big open living room with a thick grey fur rug and a black sectional sofa that wrapped around a nice wooden coffee table and a large flat screen on the wall.

 

I walked further in to poke my head into the study, which I was pleased to see hadn’t been touched. The walls were still dark wood paneled, and there were large bookcases around the big desk in the center of the room and the two chairs in front.

 

Octavia had said he’d be here soon, but I still wanted to look around a little. Knowing this was the place that Calvin spent the majority of his time made me want to take everything in one by one. I wanted to see his life here, but nothing was very personal feeling. It was all very nice and had a cozy feel, but I wandered where Calvin was in this place.

 

 

I walked to the back of the suite and pushed open the door to the bedroom that was cracked. I took a sharp breath as I walked in. The room was smaller than most around here, but he had a large four poster bed with thick steel grey blankets and duvet in the center of the room. In the corner was a small three shelved bookcase that was packed with books and had even more stacked on the top, most of their spines were too damaged from being read multiple times to even tell what the titles were. His closet door was open with the light still on and there was a pile of dirty clothes in the bottom while the rack boasted a multitude of nice button up shirts and pants hung nicely in a row. What caught my eye the most though was the dresser on the left side of the room, and the bedside table. On the dresser there was a stack of envelopes and as walked over I could see my own handwriting across the paper. They were all the letters I had sent him while he had been away battling the rebels. I ran my fingers over them slowly, remembering how much I had missed him and how worried I was for his safe return, which only led to my thoughts of the night he did return and our muddy reunion in the garden.

 

The single most striking thing about his room wasn’t the letters, but the single framed picture that was sitting on his bedside table, angled to face the bed. I sat down on the bed, reaching out to pick up the silver frame that had little roses etched into the sides and tears stung my eyes as I stared at the picture it held.

 

“Rachel?” I heard Calvin’s voice call through the suite.

 

“In here.” I whispered back, knowing he’d hear me.

 

Instantly he was in the doorway, looking over at me as I continued to admire the photo in my hands. “She’s beautiful.” He whispered from the door and I glanced up to see him leaning against the doorframe with one hand in his black pants pocket and his white button down buttoned all the way to the top instead of the first three open like usual.

 

I swallowed hard and turned back to the frame. “How did you get this?” I asked him. “Did Pedro get it for you?”

 

He shook his head as he walked over slowly, looking more beautifully handsome than any being should be allowed, and he took the picture from me, looking down at it. “I took this myself.” He whispered. “You were so strong.” He sighed.

 

 

My breath caught in my chest and I wanted to cry, but for once my tear ducts where way behind my feelings. “You were there?” I choked out and he sat down on the bed beside me, passing the photo back.

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“The whole last month because I was afraid I would miss it.” He sighed softly. “I bribed the staff to make sure that you had a room on the first floor so that I could see in through the window. I prayed for weeks that you’d go into labor at night.” He told me.

 

“I did.” I nodded.

 

“She came into this world at 9:30pm on Wednesday June 19th. It had been raining that whole day, but it stopped just before she was born. She weighed 6lbs 7oz, and she was 21 ½ inches long.” He said, every bit of it right.

 

I looked harder at the picture and now it was obvious to me that from the angle you would have had to have taken the photo from the window of my hospital room. The picture was taken not long after Rose arrived. She was still covered in gunk and swollen with a slightly oblong head from all the pushing, but she was beautiful. I was holding her against my chest, looking down at her with tears in my eyes and sweat all over my face. “You came.” I whispered.

 

Calvin reached out and put his hand on the side of my face, turning me to look at him. “Of course I did.” He whispered. “I would not have let you go through that alone.”

 

“Why didn’t you come inside?” I asked.

 

He looked into my eyes and held my face. “I wish I had.” He said. “I struggled with it, so much, Rachel. I fought myself the entire time I was there to keep myself from bothering you. I had every intention of truly letting you go, but I had to be there for this, and I…Rachel, I know that I hurt you, but I swear I had the best intentions behind it. I thought the only way for you to be happy would be away from this place and these people. When I watched you giving birth to our perfect daughter, and I saw how strong and happy and beautiful you were, I thought I had made the right choice. As much as I wanted to be with you both, I saw how you

 

 

and your mother were so close and fawning over Rose, and I knew that my showing back up would only complicate your lives.”

 

I nodded slowly as he spoke and I tried really hard to put myself in his position. I tried to imagine if I was the vampire and the danger lurked around me, would I have made the same decisions to do what I thought would be saving him. I knew without a doubt that I would do anything for him if I thought it meant I could protect him, and I wanted to scream at myself for taking so long to come to this conclusion. “I understand.” I whispered and I could see the surprise on his face.

 

He held my face in both of his hands firmly and pulled me forward, resting his forehead to mine. “Rachel, I need you to know, I never wanted to hurt you.” He said. “I am so sorry for every second of your pain, and I was wrong.” He professed, looking me right in the eye. “I never should have sent you away. I never should have thought I knew what was best for you, and I should have trusted you to tell me if you were unhappy here.” He sighed, leaning against me harder, putting one hand on my back.

 

“I was wrong, and I’m sorry.”

 

The tears finally caught up, but I smiled through it. “That’s all I ever wanted to hear you say.” I muttered before quickly pressing my lips to his, afraid if I didn’t do it right now, I might not ever get a chance. I had expected to give him a quick peck, just to let him know I was going to forgive him, but I got carried away. His smooth cool lips on mine made my mind run wild and before I knew I was going to do it, my hands were up tangled in his hair and he was holding me tightly to him, kissing me back with a furiosity I hadn’t expected in our first kiss.

 

I parted my lips and let him in, and just like that, five years of hurt, loneliness, and anger all evaporated into nothingness and nothing in the world mattered but this kiss, us, and our little family. He’d been there. As crazy as it sounded on the day I had Rose I had felt like he was there, I felt it in my bones but I had myself convinced that it was just because Rose was a piece of him. Now I know the truth. Calvin never abandoned me or Rose. He just kept his distance trying to make us happy, and trying not to mess up any more than he already felt like he had.

 

 

The kissing kept on for a long time and I was breathless when he finally pulled away from me. I laughed a little as I looked at him, his hair sticking up in crazy angles and his shirt practically ripped open. I hadn’t even noticed that I had unbuttoned it. I was lost in him. He smiled at me, his eyes bright and his dimples digging deep into his cheeks. “I missed these.” I said, putting my hands on his cheeks.

 

 

 

 

To_be_Continued

 

ANYTHING FOR RACHEL