Adebimpe: The Facebook Girl – Episode 10
Written & Produced by ONIHAXY.
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………………8 weeks later.
SEGE: onihaxy, I don dey notice you all these days
ooooo
ME: wetin happen? ***raised eyebrow***
SEGE: since that bimpe Dam don comot, you just dey
dull this days.
ME: hmmmmmm
SEGE: this one no be the matter of “hmmmmmmm”,
you sure say that girl never wash pant inside food for
you?, infact, I dey suspect say she don lace her
pusssy with juju.
ME: not really jaree. I just like bimpe and I keep
thinking about her. I don’t know why sha.
SEGE: **** laughs loudly*** hahahahahahahahaha.
My Baddest Maga ever liveth, I know say no be the
girl dey worry you, na her pusssy, hahahahaha
****pats me on the laps and kept laughing****
ME: stop that jaree.
SEGE: hahahahahahaha. Chaii, na so her toto sweet
reach??, onihaxy talk true, e be like say that girl dey
give you special deliveries on bed.
ME: “segun je ka serious jaree” I just love this girl
sha, I don’t know why I can’t take her off my mind.
SEGE: guy, tell me say na joke!!
ME: segun, no be joke, I don tell you something like
this before?.
SEGE: ***hissed*** “ode”, instead of you to go for an
H.I.V test abi na AIDS dem dey call am, you are here
mourning about one Dam.
ME: you won’t understand sha.
SEGE: hahahahahaha, why won’t I understand?, e be
like say you were destined to be her maga for life.
ME: no segun, I always have this feelings that the
judgement we gave her was too harsh.
SEGE: and so?, “iyen o kan aye men”. That is the
minimum judgement a Dam deserves,
ME: stop it jor.
SEGE: she should thank her stars that it wasn’t in
the period that I was desperate to have money, I for
don take her do rituals.
ME: segun haba!!!.
SEGE: na so now. I no know why you carry sword-
man’s abandon Kitty-Cat for head like this?, you don
dey craze oo Mr maga
ME: segun you know what? ****adjusted my sitting
position****, I keep wondering how she would get
back to port-harcourt without T.fare as she didn’t
have money on her.
SEGE: that one simple now, no be runs girl she be?,
sebi na to sell her toto give two or three guys for
bustop and make money.
ME: segun!!!!!!!!
SEGE: yes now mr maga, or patapata e, she go sell
her phone to make money, maybe that’s why her
number no dey go again sef?.
ME: hmmmmmmmmmm!. Oga oooo.
SEGUN : ogbeni forget matter jaree, I dey go my
house to prepare for tomorrow’s work.
ME: ok jaree padi e,
SEGUN: mr maga, you no go see me off?
ME: ***frowned*** no dey call me “maga” again jor, I
no like am jare.
SEGE: you dey craze, na certified maga you be. If not
for me, maybe you for don sell all your properties
give bimpe.
ME: na you sabi. Let me see you off.
SEGE: hahahahahahaha. If you like, kill yourself ontop
one yeye bimpe ooo, you hear!!!!. Who knows?, maybe
she dey ontop another dicck right now rocking
cowgirl’s style. Abi no be that girl?
ME: wetin do am?
SEGE: chaiiii, that girl fit Bleep ontop transformer
ooooo.
ME: ***laughs*** segun, na you sabi, come dey go
your house abeg. I will branch at your place
tomorrow when I’m coming back from work.
SEGE: no wahala mr maga “hahahahaha”. My regards
to adebimpe oooooo. Hahahahaha.
ME: you no well.
Segun left my house, I sat down on my chair and
began to review all that happened between me and
adebimpe.
**********************************
After segun’s departure, I began to reason and think of
why I still loved this girl despite all what she did to me,
the more I think of her, the more I was lost in my
thoughts. I couldn’t figure out what really could prompt
such feelings. “Could she had jazzed me?”
“Maybe segun was right sha!”
“Abi she truly laced her Kitty-Cat?”
“Abi na the waist bead she used?”
“But the judgement was harsh oo”
“But she deserved it na”
“But she is pretty and cute oo”
“What if she was flirting secretly?”
“What if I didn’t find out?”.
“Who knows if she might change?”
“Who know if she had cursed me?”
“How did she get to PH sef?”
“Abi she was killed ni?”
“Maybe she is dead at the moment?”
“Her number no dey go again”
“Even her FB has been dormant”
“But I liked that girl oooo”
“She is really smart sha”
“It takes only smart girl to play game”
I was lost in thoughts and asking myself all sort
rhetorical questions and there was no one beside me to
provide answers to it.
I picked my phone to check her profile on my facebook
but I couldn’t see her on my friend list and search
results. I tried checking again and the result was still
empty. It was then that I remembered that she had
blocked me on the same day segun sent her away.
I tried logging in into her account but the screen was
showing “incorrect password”. **chaiii, this girl don
change password sha*****
I created another facebook account and searched for
her name from my new account and it was displayed,
but the account was dormant for the past 5 weeks. No
new update, no new uploads.
I dropped the phone and while I was still lost in my
thoughts about Adebimpe, my phone was ringing, I
moved closer to the bed to see who was calling and I
was shocked to see the name that appeared on the
screen.
I looked at the screen of my phone. It was kemi. I also
met kemi online before my encounter with bimpe. She
claimed to be based in lagos according to her back
then when we met 9 months ago.
She told me she was a fashion designer and also a
part time student of yabatech at the same time. After
3 weeks of chating when we met, she sent her phone
number to me on facebook after several pleas. Our
friendship became interesting that we were fond of
each other, I would always call her in the morning,
afternoon, and night. I would sent series of sms to
kemi and she would also send hers.
After few weeks of friendship, I asked her out and she
gave me a pending response. I never gave up on kemi
as I kept pressurising her to be mine, convincing her
with sweet and mouth-watering talks. I never seized to
bombard her with my specially designed love sms.
Alas, she finally agreed to be my girlfriend and the
official E-dating started 6 months ago..
At the beginning of the E-dating, everything was going
smooth, I was always looking forward to the day I
would get to see kemi face to face. We began to plan
how we would meet and I never had the feelings that it
was a distance affairs, I always have this possibility
and positivity kind of mindset that we would be
together someday no matter how long the “E-dating”
lasted.
About 2 month into the relationship, things began to
get complicated. Kemi no longer call or text me like
she used to do before, conversation began to get
boring as the day passes by and to crown it all, kemi
would always be on my neck for airtime credits.
At first, I didn’t find any fault or problem in sending
airtime to her. I had this mentality that she is my
girlfriend and I am responsible for recharging her phone
so that other guys wouldn’t snatch her from me. But
along the line, I was getting uncomfortable with the
card of a thing. Kemi would not call on a good day to
greet me on check on me, anytime my phone rings and
I picked, the conversation is always “baby please send
me card”, and the funniest thing was that she would
only flash me or call to tell me “baby, I have seen the
card, thanks” and she would hang up. It was when she
needed another card that she would dial my number
again. The whole thing got boring to me and I began to
loose interest in kemi gradually, it got to a time that I
stopped calling her also. When she calls to ask for
airtime as usual, I would promise her that I would send
it and ended up not sending anything, when she finally
realized that airtime isn’t coming forth from me
anymore, the communication was broken finally as she
no longer calls again neither do I call her also. And 4
months ago was the last time we spoke together.
Seeing her call again, I was shocked and surprised, I
was like “so this girl still have my number all this
while?”. I stopped thinking about bimpe and I picked
the call.
ME: hello
KEMI: hi onihaxy, nawa for you oooo, you didn’t even
bother to call me again. This is unfair
ME: I’m so sorry kemi, I lost my phone, and I got a new
phone and lost the former contacts.
KEMI: onihaxy!!!!!!!, so how did you know its me.
ME: I recognised your voice, I got to know that its you
when you said “hello” KEMI: ok dear, how are you?, I
have missed you ooooo.
ME: ****yinmu, “oloshi, may thunder fire you if you
demand for card again today”****** I missed you too
dear.
KEMI: I just called to tell you that I’m attending a
wedding in akure next weekend. I would see you when
I’m around.
ME: its ok, can’t wait to see you.
KEMI: are you sure?
ME: yes
KEMI: ok dear. Baby please help me with little airtime
please.
ME: ***oloshi****, ok, but not now
KEMI: when?, I need it urgently please.
ME: I’m not at home at the moment and I didn’t go
with my wallet, maybe when I get back home sha.
KEMI: thanks dear, I will be expecting it. Can’t wait to
see you next weekend.
ME: can’t wait to see you too. Bye
KEMI: bye ***hanged up******
Yeah, its time for me to get a “pension sex” for all my
wasted investment******************
