Adebimpe: The Facebook Girl – Episode 164

I was at home on Thursday evening after work when Benita and I had a gist.

ME: Benita, what time will you be going for the test?

BENITA: The Test will be holding by 10am, but I should leave home very early in the morning. why are u asking?

ME: I just want to know so that I can drop you off at obanikoro in case we will be going out together in the morning.

BENITA: No problem, but since I will be going to Victoria island, it still doesn’t make any difference. I can get a direct BRT bus from Maryland. Maybe you should drop me at the junction tomorrow morning.

ME: no problem.

BENITA: so how is your girlfriend?, or you want to tell me that you still don’t have any one?

ME: hmmmmm. I haven’t gotten any one oooo. Since you disagreed to by my girl.

BENITA: common onihaxy, I thought we have discussed this thing over and over again. To be sincere, I like you so much.

ME: hmmmmmmmmmmm

BENITA: yes, you are so loving and caring. but it’s just so sad that I’m already engaged to another man. he isn’t just a man I can dump anyhow because he had really tried for me and my family in the village.

ME: poor me. its well sha.

BENITA: ***shift closer and pecked me****. don’t worry onihaxy, we are still best of friends. no one else in this world can take your place of friendship away from my heart. I have loved you as a friend and I will forever love you.

ME: hmmmmmmmmmmm.

BENITA: just do me a favour and get yourself a girlfriend. I will be friends with her and I will teach her how to love and care for you. seriously, you have everything it takes to be a good husband. I’m sure I with be jealous if I see you with another girl. but I have no choice.

ME: OK dear, how about your sister?, are you still hearing from her?

BENITA: you mean the one in Lagos?

ME: yes.

BENITA: ****Laughed**** that reminds me. let me gist you

ME: what is that?

BENITA: that her fiance I told you about will be getting married soon to another lady.

ME: how did you know?.

BENITA: he had planned a wedding with another girl before he came to visit my sister in Lagos. he only came to have a good bye sex.

ME: Benita!!!!!. how did you know all this.

BENITA: I saw my sister’s heartbroken status on Facebook two weeks ago and she had removed the relationship status with the guy on her Facebook. one of her friends whom we use to relate together was the one who told me more about what happened.

ME: hmmmmmmmmmmm.

BENITA: men are just so wicked. can you imagine?. it pained me for her sha. she really loved the guy so much.

ME: eeeyah.

Benita and I continued to have series of discussion until we both went to bed and sleep after eating dinner. I woke up the next day and I woke her up too. we both prepared and drove out of the house. I dropped her at Maryland bustop and proceeded to work afterwards. At break time, I had sessions of chat with Betty, she told me that she had already delivered my message to Henry about how I would get to meet her father. I also told her about what segun said but I didn’t let her to know that it was from segun. she told me that getting pregnant isn’t an issue but having enough resources on ground to cater for the baby and the family should be a major issue we need to look into. she told me that I should be expecting a call from Henry anytime and we suspended the chat and another chat popped up from segun.

SEGE: how far onihaxy.

ME: I’m good segun. what about you?

SEGE: I’m fine jaree. I just want to ask when Betty will be coming to Nigeria?

ME: December period. why did you ask?.

SEGE: I was thinking she would be around at the same time with Sandra. I want us to have a group outing.

ME: eeeeyah. that’s true ooooo. since Betty and I will be coming to akure.

SEGE: yeah.

ME: but I can’t say for now. we chatted together not quite long sha, maybe I will ask her later.

SEGE: how is your boss and your Benita?

ME: my boss is fine oooo. she even invited me for a lunch at her house tomorrow.

SEGE: nice one. make sure you score hatrick this time and win the man of the match award.

ME: hmmmmmmmmmmm.

SEGE: yes na. since that is what she wanted.

ME: Benita went for her test today. we spoke yesterday night and she advised me to get a girlfriend because she can’t date me or have anything to do with me due to the fact that she

has a boyfriend.

SEGE: My guy, you are deeply drowned into the sea of friend zone where you sacrifices something and your reward is been given to someone else. the earlier you get out of it, the better. otherwise, you will die of temptation and frustration.

ME: hmmmmmmmmmmm.

SEGE: yeah. After her test and eventually travels, make sure you don’t host her for too long again. when next she will be coming, tell her that your girlfriend is around.

ME: yes boss.

segun and I chatted for a while until we ended the chat and I resumed my work in the office. Funmi saw me at the close of business for the day and she reminded me of the lunch date which I promised her that I would be coming. I got back home that night and I had discussions with benita on how Saturday the next day would be.

ME: Benita, how was the test?

BENITA: It was fine. it seems we would be called for interview soon because I heard that successful applicants will be resuming before Christmas.

ME: waoooh. that means you won’t be going tomorrow?

BENITA: why did you say so?

ME: because you might be called for interview any moment from now.

BENITA: hmmmmm. I have thought of that too. in fact, I called my fiancé to inform him bit he insisted that I must come back.

ME: hmmmmmmmmmmm.

BENITA: don’t mind him, I don’t know his problem, he has started missing me within 2 days.

ME: hmmmmm, I go love oooooooo. does he know you are staying with me?

BENITA: heeeeeee. I dare not tell him. he is a very jealous type. I told him I’m staying with a female friend.

ME: hmmmmmmmmmmm. anyways, what time are you going tomorrow?

BENITA: around 12pm sha.

ME: alright. you will help me to drop my key with my neighbor when you are going.

BENITA: Why?

ME: i’m going somewhere tomorrow morning.

BENITA: OK, no problem.

At 9am on Saturday, I left my house because of the traffic on oshodi- sango otta road, I left Benita at home and I gave her three thousand naira before leaving the house. I got to funmi’s house at few minutes to 12pm and I knocked on her door, I was surprised to see who opened the door for me to enter, its was a resemblance of the picture of her daughter which was hanged on the wall of the living room.

“Good afternoon, who are you? and who are you asking of?” the young lady asked in a sweet angelic voice.

“I’m onihaxy, I’m asking of Mrs funmilayo” I answered while scanning her from her head to her chest.

“That is my mum. from where?” she asked again

” from Maryland, just tell her that onihaxy is here” I replied her again.

“please wait outside here, I’m coming” she said as she closed the main door and walked inside.

*****chaiiii, this funmi’s daughter is seriously pretty oooooo, slim and curvy***********

I was still standing outside when the door was opened again and the lady told me to enter. I entered and sat down on the sofa in the living room with her and she told me to hold on a bit that her mummy will come out soon. I nodded in agreement and while waiting for funmi to come out, I seized the opportunity to engage her daughter in a chat.

ME: eeeeeeemmm. you must be Adeola?

ADEOLA: Yes I am.

ME: waoooooh. it’s glad to finally meet you. your mummy always talk about you. “Adeola my little angel” that is what she always say”

ADEOLA: waooooh. sorry to ask, who are you?

ME: well, I’m onihaxy, a staff of the bank where your mother works and your mummy is my boss.

ADEOLA: that’s cool. I’m Adeola

ME: nice meeting you

ADEOLA: Nice meeting you.

ME: I heard you are in university. which school is that?

ADEOLA: Lead city University in Ibadan, I studied……………..****discussion continues*******

FUNMI: *****came out to the living room and met us chating ***** haba, you didn’t even wait for me to introduce both of you to each other. have you guys met before?

ADEOLA: No mummy. we met 10 minutes ago and already did the introduction.

FUNMI: waoooh, that’s cool then. so how are you onihaxy?

ME: I’m fine ma.

FUNMI: this is my daughter Adeola, she is my little angel I always told you about. and Adeola, this is onihaxy, one of the most hardworking and dedicated staff of the bank. he is more like my son.

ADEOLA: Hmmmmmm. that’s cool, he already told me.

ME: you never told me that she was around

FUNMI: Even me, I don’t know too. I just got home last night and I met her at home.

ME: that’s cool, I’m happy I finally meet her after all this while of hearing about her. she is prettier than you.

FUNMI: is that so adeola?, are you truly prettier than me?

ADEOLA: yes mum. before nko?

FUNMI: eeehn eehn?, see conspiracy ooooo. I need to upgrade my make up kits and tush up my appearance. I’m already getting jealous.

ADEOLA: ****laughed****

ME: *****laughed too***

we continued to discuss and gist until funmi and her daughter prepared dinner which we all ate together. I was still eating when my phone rang and I checked the screen to see the caller, it was a call from Benita which I picked up. she called to inform me that someone asked of me and the person was a lady. I was surprised because I wasn’t expecting any visitor, I enquired from from Benita about the details of the lady and she told me that the lady didn’t mention her name but claimed to be my neighbour. I was like “it could sister Nike”. she told me that she would soon be going and I urged him to drop my key for my landlord whenever she is going. I continued with my meal, had more funs with funmi and her daughter before going back home in the evening. I was on the road when my phone rang again, I looked at the screen and it was from adebimpe which I picked up after parking at one side of the road.

ME: hello bimpe

BIMPE: *****yelled****** weldone o ehn!!! weldone!!!!

ME: ****Surprised**** what is the meaning of this Adebimpe?

BIMPE: So this is how you have been messing around abi?, so this is how you have been cheating on my sister in law abi?, so this is how you have been sleeping around with all manner of girls abi?.

ME: Bimpe, what are you saying?

BIMPE: I had a party in your area today and I stopped by to check on you. I met the lady you have been sleeping with all this while since the absence of Betty. I saw her fully loaded leather box in the room and I even saw her wearing one of your shirt over only pants. I enquired from your landlord and he said she has been living with you for sometimes now. so this is how you wanted to repay us abi?. Henry must hear this. intact, Betty musI was at home on Thursday evening after work when Benita and I had a gist.

ME: Benita, what time will you be going for the test?

BENITA: The Test will be holding by 10am, but I should leave home very early in the morning. why are u asking?

ME: I just want to know so that I can drop you off at obanikoro in case we will be going out together in the morning.

BENITA: No problem, but since I will be going to Victoria island, it still doesn’t make any difference. I can get a direct BRT bus from Maryland. Maybe you should drop me at the junction tomorrow morning.

ME: no problem.

BENITA: so how is your girlfriend?, or you want to tell me that you still don’t have any one?

ME: hmmmmm. I haven’t gotten any one oooo. Since you disagreed to by my girl.

BENITA: common onihaxy, I thought we have discussed this thing over and over again. To be sincere, I like you so much.

ME: hmmmmmmmmmmm

BENITA: yes, you are so loving and caring. but it’s just so sad that I’m already engaged to another man. he isn’t just a man I can dump anyhow because he had really tried for me and my family in the village.

ME: poor me. its well sha.

BENITA: ***shift closer and pecked me****. don’t worry onihaxy, we are still best of friends. no one else in this world can take your place of friendship away from my heart. I have loved you as a friend and I will forever love you.

ME: hmmmmmmmmmmm.

BENITA: just do me a favour and get yourself a girlfriend. I will be friends with her and I will teach her how to love and care for you. seriously, you have everything it takes to be a good husband. I’m sure I with be jealous if I see you with another girl. but I have no choice.

ME: OK dear, how about your sister?, are you still hearing from her?

BENITA: you mean the one in Lagos?

ME: yes.

BENITA: ****Laughed**** that reminds me. let me gist you

ME: what is that?

BENITA: that her fiance I told you about will be getting married soon to another lady.

ME: how did you know?.

BENITA: he had planned a wedding with another girl before he came to visit my sister in Lagos. he only came to have a good bye sex.

ME: Benita!!!!!. how did you know all this.

BENITA: I saw my sister’s heartbroken status on Facebook two weeks ago and she had removed the relationship status with the guy on her Facebook. one of her friends whom we use to relate together was the one who told me more about what happened.

ME: hmmmmmmmmmmm.

BENITA: men are just so wicked. can you imagine?. it pained me for her sha. she really loved the guy so much.

ME: eeeyah.

Benita and I continued to have series of discussion until we both went to bed and sleep after eating dinner. I woke up the next day and I woke her up too. we both prepared and drove out of the house. I dropped her at Maryland bustop and proceeded to work afterwards. At break time, I had sessions of chat with Betty, she told me that she had already delivered my message to Henry about how I would get to meet her father. I also told her about what segun said but I didn’t let her to know that it was from segun. she told me that getting pregnant isn’t an issue but having enough resources on ground to cater for the baby and the family should be a major issue we need to look into. she told me that I should be expecting a call from Henry anytime and we suspended the chat and another chat popped up from segun.

SEGE: how far onihaxy.

ME: I’m good segun. what about you?

SEGE: I’m fine jaree. I just want to ask when Betty will be coming to Nigeria?

ME: December period. why did you ask?.

SEGE: I was thinking she would be around at the same time with Sandra. I want us to have a group outing.

ME: eeeeyah. that’s true ooooo. since Betty and I will be coming to akure.

SEGE: yeah.

ME: but I can’t say for now. we chatted together not quite long sha, maybe I will ask her later.

SEGE: how is your boss and your Benita?

ME: my boss is fine oooo. she even invited me for a lunch at her house tomorrow.

SEGE: nice one. make sure you score hatrick this time and win the man of the match award.

ME: hmmmmmmmmmmm.

SEGE: yes na. since that is what she wanted.

ME: Benita went for her test today. we spoke yesterday night and she advised me to get a girlfriend because she can’t date me or have anything to do with me due to the fact that she

has a boyfriend.

SEGE: My guy, you are deeply drowned into the sea of friend zone where you sacrifices something and your reward is been given to someone else. the earlier you get out of it, the better. otherwise, you will die of temptation and frustration.

ME: hmmmmmmmmmmm.

SEGE: yeah. After her test and eventually travels, make sure you don’t host her for too long again. when next she will be coming, tell her that your girlfriend is around.

ME: yes boss.

segun and I chatted for a while until we ended the chat and I resumed my work in the office. Funmi saw me at the close of business for the day and she reminded me of the lunch date which I promised her that I would be coming. I got back home that night and I had discussions with benita on how Saturday the next day would be.

ME: Benita, how was the test?

BENITA: It was fine. it seems we would be called for interview soon because I heard that successful applicants will be resuming before Christmas.

ME: waoooh. that means you won’t be going tomorrow?

BENITA: why did you say so?

ME: because you might be called for interview any moment from now.

BENITA: hmmmmm. I have thought of that too. in fact, I called my fiancé to inform him bit he insisted that I must come back.

ME: hmmmmmmmmmmm.

BENITA: don’t mind him, I don’t know his problem, he has started missing me within 2 days.

ME: hmmmmm, I go love oooooooo. does he know you are staying with me?

BENITA: heeeeeee. I dare not tell him. he is a very jealous type. I told him I’m staying with a female friend.

ME: hmmmmmmmmmmm. anyways, what time are you going tomorrow?

BENITA: around 12pm sha.

ME: alright. you will help me to drop my key with my neighbor when you are going.

BENITA: Why?

ME: i’m going somewhere tomorrow morning.

BENITA: OK, no problem.

At 9am on Saturday, I left my house because of the traffic on oshodi- sango otta road, I left Benita at home and I gave her three thousand naira before leaving the house. I got to funmi’s house at few minutes to 12pm and I knocked on her door, I was surprised to see who opened the door for me to enter, its was a resemblance of the picture of her daughter which was hanged on the wall of the living room.

“Good afternoon, who are you? and who are you asking of?” the young lady asked in a sweet angelic voice.

“I’m onihaxy, I’m asking of Mrs funmilayo” I answered while scanning her from her head to her chest.

“That is my mum. from where?” she asked again

” from Maryland, just tell her that onihaxy is here” I replied her again.

“please wait outside here, I’m coming” she said as she closed the main door and walked inside.

*****chaiiii, this funmi’s daughter is seriously pretty oooooo, slim and curvy***********

I was still standing outside when the door was opened again and the lady told me to enter. I entered and sat down on the sofa in the living room with her and she told me to hold on a bit that her mummy will come out soon. I nodded in agreement and while waiting for funmi to come out, I seized the opportunity to engage her daughter in a chat.

ME: eeeeeeemmm. you must be Adeola?

ADEOLA: Yes I am.

ME: waoooooh. it’s glad to finally meet you. your mummy always talk about you. “Adeola my little angel” that is what she always say”

ADEOLA: waooooh. sorry to ask, who are you?

ME: well, I’m onihaxy, a staff of the bank where your mother works and your mummy is my boss.

ADEOLA: that’s cool. I’m Adeola

ME: nice meeting you

ADEOLA: Nice meeting you.

ME: I heard you are in university. which school is that?

ADEOLA: Lead city University in Ibadan, I studied……………..****discussion continues*******

FUNMI: *****came out to the living room and met us chating ***** haba, you didn’t even wait for me to introduce both of you to each other. have you guys met before?

ADEOLA: No mummy. we met 10 minutes ago and already did the introduction.

FUNMI: waoooh, that’s cool then. so how are you onihaxy?

ME: I’m fine ma.

FUNMI: this is my daughter Adeola, she is my little angel I always told you about. and Adeola, this is onihaxy, one of the most hardworking and dedicated staff of the bank. he is more like my son.

ADEOLA: Hmmmmmm. that’s cool, he already told me.

ME: you never told me that she was around

FUNMI: Even me, I don’t know too. I just got home last night and I met her at home.

ME: that’s cool, I’m happy I finally meet her after all this while of hearing about her. she is prettier than you.

FUNMI: is that so adeola?, are you truly prettier than me?

ADEOLA: yes mum. before nko?

FUNMI: eeehn eehn?, see conspiracy ooooo. I need to upgrade my make up kits and tush up my appearance. I’m already getting jealous.

ADEOLA: ****laughed****

ME: *****laughed too***

we continued to discuss and gist until funmi and her daughter prepared dinner which we all ate together. I was still eating when my phone rang and I checked the screen to see the caller, it was a call from Benita which I picked up. she called to inform me that someone asked of me and the person was a lady. I was surprised because I wasn’t expecting any visitor, I enquired from from Benita about the details of the lady and she told me that the lady didn’t mention her name but claimed to be my neighbour. I was like “it could sister Nike”. she told me that she would soon be going and I urged him to drop my key for my landlord whenever she is going. I continued with my meal, had more funs with funmi and her daughter before going back home in the evening. I was on the road when my phone rang again, I looked at the screen and it was from adebimpe which I picked up after parking at one side of the road.

ME: hello bimpe

BIMPE: *****yelled****** weldone o ehn!!! weldone!!!!

ME: ****Surprised**** what is the meaning of this Adebimpe?

BIMPE: So this is how you have been messing around abi?, so this is how you have been cheating on my sister in law abi?, so this is how you have been sleeping around with all manner of girls abi?.

ME: Bimpe, what are you saying?

BIMPE: I had a party in your area today and I stopped by to check on you. I met the lady you have been sleeping with all this while since the absence of Betty. I saw her fully loaded leather box in the room and I even saw her wearing one of your shirt over only pants. I enquired from your landlord and he said she has been living with you for sometimes now. so this is how you wanted to repay us abi?. Henry must hear this. intact, Betty must hear this too. thank God I recorded my conversations with your landlord.

ME: *****chaiiiiiii*********t hear this too. thank God I recorded my conversations with your landlord.

ME: *****chaiiiiiii*********