Oh! This My Husband – Episode 7

Part 7

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© Femi Oluyamoju

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SKINY DEVIL

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I would have pounced on her if not for the fact that something seems odd, she was wearing a doctor’s uniform, she was having that funny smile on her face again.

I remember watching an American movie where the arch enemy of the actor came to the ward wearing doctors’ uniform and she tried to inject the actor with a lethal injection so that he would die.

Ahhh so this is their plan, she is not only planning to take my husband, she wants to take my life also, so that there will be no need for divorce, all the shakara I have planned for divorce won’t be necessary again.

It won’t work, smart babe like me, you can’t come and inject me simply because I have had bad luck in the last twenty four hours. Never.

I shouted: Pastor, don’t let this lady come any close to me, she is the one that got pregnant for my husband, she is the one that wants to snatch my husband, she put me into the drainage and also made me spend the night in the hospital!!!

Pastor was standing transfixed at a point just staring at me as if I was the ghost of

John the Baptist, since he was not bulging, I turned to his wife and told her;

please mummy you are a woman like me, you will understand how I feel. she is the

reason for all the stress I have been through in the home and in my marriage, this is

the bastard that is pregnant for my husband, this is the devil you have been

teaching us about in the women fellowship!!!

She didn’t even turn back to talk to my skinny marriage destroyer, all she was saying was, sister Joy! calm down, don’t work yourself up, you know you are tired. Ahhhh mummy, how can I calm down, she looks innocent but she is the architect of all my woes and troubles in recent times, mummy please look at my load, see me in the hospital, they have sent my enemy to mock me and tell the stories….

Mummy came forward to hold me and try to lead me back to the bed, this time around I won’t let the bitch escape, there is no drainage in the hospital, I am not feeling faint so this time around I know I can get her, I dashed forward to grab her, but I forgot the bags were on the floor, I fell on the bags and by the time I stood up, she had been ushered by the Pastor out of the room.

Well since she was out, I can now calm down and talk. Pastor’s wife led me to the bed while Pastor came back into the room.

Sister Joy, take things easy, you know how your health is and all you have been through, don’t complicate things. Pastor said.

I replied, sir this is not a complicated issue, it’s very simple, I am fed up of my marriage, how can my husband’s concubine come to see me in the hospital.

The look on their faces was that of surprise. The both asked in chorus, who is this concubine?

It’s that lady sir/ma. That skinny stingy indomie-like of a pest, that good for nothing useless…..

Ok, ok sister Joy, Pastor said with a knowing smile on his face, he and the wife exchange a look that says, they are trying their best not to smile.

They didn’t get me, so I decided to expatiate further, the way these guys are looking at me, e get as e be, they seem to be looking at me as one kind of lunatic or that the injury in my head must have made me lose my mind. But I am not crazy now, I know what I am saying.

Maybe because I was speaking too fast before, let me speak slowly this time around,

Pastor and mummy, you see when I left your place and got home, I met that skinny

thing, that she-devil that……

Okay! Pastor stressed again,

Please sir let me explain, you don’t understand me sir….

Sister Joy, please let Pastor explain something to you please, the wife interjected.

Ok ooo, I am all ears ooo, I replied.

Pastor continued, that is sister Hamet.

In my mind I thought, Hamet, what a name!! names that church-going home wreckers bear……

It was sister Hamet that settled your hospital bill and ensured you got the best treatment from this hospital because it belongs to her father. Pastor said. Ohh I replied, is she Hamet Johnson?

Pastor said, Yes she is.

Ahhhh, Mogbe (I am in trouble!)

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OH THIS MY HUSBAND!

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