Endless Obsession – Episode 33
Episode 33
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⚘Asher⚘
I close the door behind me, making sure to lock it. I’m still in a state of shock at what I just witnessed. Asher wasn’t lying when he said he had cameras throughout my house. I followed the tall blond man, Wyatt, as he went to each room and pulled out tiny cameras from small hiding places I would have never thought to look. Wyatt went to each one, like he knew just where they were. I’m hoping that Asher told him where he placed them and didn’t know their location because he’s seen the footage. I wouldn’t think that Asher would allow that, but what do I know? With each camera revealed, the churning in my stomach grew. Every single room had a camera, except for the bathroom. Knowing I kept that small bit of privacy doesn’t help make me feel better.
I turn and watch out the small window in my front door as Wyatt climbs in his big truck. Before driving off, he pulls his phone out and speaks with someone for a couple minutes. I’m sure he’s probably telling Asher that the cameras have all been removed. When he first knocked on my door, I was reluctant to let him in. Anyone to do with Asher makes me nervous, especially with the reason why he was here. But my need to have the cameras gone had me pulling the door open and allowing him entrance. I don’t know for sure if he got them all, but for some unknown, asinine reason, I don’t think Asher would allow him to leave any behind. I may not trust him anymore, but it’s obvious he’s in pain as well. I just don’t know if it’s because he lost something he considers his property or if it’s because he genuinely cares about me.
Last night was hard. I was constantly looking over my shoulder, knowing there were cameras all around me. I didn’t even try to find them, knowing that even if I did manage to find any, I wouldn’t have been able to find them all. I hated being here, in my own home, knowing Asher could have been watching me at any given second. I wonder if he did. I actually hid in my shower to change my clothes, and I sure as hell didn’t sleep naked. It’s been years since I slept with clothes on. I don’t know if it was that that kept me up last night, knowing everything that I do now, or if it was the dreams I had. Either way, I got maybe an hour of sleep, and now I’m exhausted.
My phone rings from the kitchen, pulling me from my thoughts. Even hearing my phone ring frays my nerves. Each time it does, my stupid freaking heart leaps, knowing it could be Asher. I don’t want to talk to him, but I still can’t help but miss him. I miss Sterling too, with his slight accent that I feel a fool falling for.
I grab my phone with sweaty palms and look down at the display. Disappointment and relief both play in my head at seeing Liv’s name. I push ignore instead of answering it. She’s called several times since yesterday, but I’m still not ready to talk to her yet. I hate keeping her in the dark, she’s the closest thing to family I have, but there’s no telling what she’ll do once she finds out what Asher did. Today’s Monday, so I’m sure she went to work. I’m sure Asher did as well. After all, we’re no longer in Texas anymore, so there’s no reason for him to stay home. I don’t want to do anything to jeopardize her job, and I know she’ll freak out and feel obligated to say something to him that may cause just that.
I called in first thing this morning. I purposely waited until ten minutes after eight to ensure that someone else was in the office besides Asher. My excuse was that I was sick, but I’m sure once Asher found out I wasn’t coming in he saw through my ruse. Stupid he is not. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to go back to work for him. It would be too hard to see him every day and not touch him.
I try to occupy my time by doing mundane things. Rearranging my living room, cleaning the spare room, going through and discarding old clothes, sitting out on the back porch and reading. Nothing works. The only thing I manage to do is picture Asher in each room I go to. My visions moved from him wandering around, plundering through my things, to us both sitting on my couch, snuggled up, watching a movie. Or me standing at the stove cooking dinner while he sat at the bar, watching me. Us cozied up in bed, murmuring nonsense to each other as we wait for sleep to come for us. Me sitting on his lap in a lounge chair on the back porch, him drinking his nasty beer while I drink my wine.
It was those visions that kept me on the verge of tears. I want those things to come true so much. Both Asher and Sterling were everything I wanted in a man. Protective, sweet, kind, smart, hardworking, tenacious. Although his intense belief that I was his as Sterling could come off as too strong sometimes, I still loved that he felt that strongly about me. Besides my parents, I’ve never had that feeling before. I’ve never been so completely wanted by a man.
I pull myself from my thoughts as I make my way to my room. It’s probably futile to even attempt, but my body is running on empty. I lay down on my white comforter and roll to my side. Gathering my pillow, I hug it to my chest. I try to push thoughts of Asher aside, but they just won’t leave me. Why can’t I get him out of my head? You’d think after what he did I’d despise him, but my stupid heart won’t let me. Yes, I’m angry and hurt by his actions. I hate knowing how vulnerable I was with him, and I still feel a small bout of fear, but I can’t help but wonder if I’m making a mistake by pushing him away. What if what we had was real? What if he truly does love me? What if his actions were born out of desperation, or if the excuse he has for not coming to me is sincere and reasonable? What if my fears and anger are keeping me away from the best thing that could ever happen to me?
But what if he’s dangerous? my mind taunts me.
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That’s what’s holding me back. The unknown. If he’s capable of putting cameras in my house, sending me on dates with jerks, following me around in his car, and breaking into my house at night, what else is he capable of? It’s strange, really.
When I knew him as just Sterling, someone I didn’t know at all, my desire to know him more far outweighed my fear of the unknown. But now that I have a face to go with the name and it’s someone I knew all along, my fear is keeping me from moving forward. It’s the pain of betrayal that won’t let me accept him for who he is and what he’s done. That’s what I can’t get over.
My phone at my hip jingles an incoming text. My heart pounds heavily in my chest when I read the message.
Asher: I miss you.
I squeeze my eyes shut and try to force the tears back, but they fall anyway. I miss him so much it takes my breath away until I can’t breathe. I only had him for two days as Asher, but I had him for weeks as Sterling. I didn’t recognize it at the time, but the two are the same. Their mannerisms and attitudes are so close; I’m surprised I didn’t see it before.
I don’t answer him, but I tuck my phone close to my head, just in case he texts back. I’m torturing myself with wishing he’ll reach out again. It’s stupid of me and only confuses me more, but my heart won’t let me feel anything else.
I throw a punch at my pillow, pissed he took away my happiness, then stuff my face in the damn thing, using it to muffle the broken sobs I know will take me a long time to overcome.
I don’t know how I managed it, but somehow I fell asleep. When I pull my eyes open, they feel swollen, and a piercing pain shoots through my head. I roll to my back and stare up at the ceiling, trying to get the pressure to go down. This is what I get for crying myself to sleep.
Once I’m reasonably sure that I won’t fall flat on my face when I get up, I slowly get up from the bed and go to the bathroom. I groan when I see my face in the mirror. I look an awful mess with my hair tangled, my face blotched with red, and my eyes bloodshot. After rinsing and drying my face, I walk out of my room, just as a knock sounds at my door. My steps are slow as I walk over to the door and peek out my window. A man in a white dress shirt, black slacks, and a black tie stands on my stoop. It’s what he’s carrying though that has me sucking in a breath. I thought he wouldn’t send them anymore, and it’s certainly not the day he normally does.
Confused, touched, and a little miffed at his audacity, I reluctantly pull open the door and see a big vase filled with pale purple roses. The man greets me with a charming smile. “Miss Lexington?”
“Yes, that’s me.”
“I have a delivery for you. Would you like me to carry them in for you?”
As much as I enjoy getting the beautiful flowers, I can’t continue to accept them. I don’t want him to get the wrong idea if I do. This madness needs to stop. He promised to give me time, but him doing this isn’t that. Time really doesn’t matter anyway. I can’t go back to him.
“I don’t want them. Take them back,please,” I tell the guy.
He looks confused, like he’s unsure how to proceed. I’m sure it’s not every day that someone refuses a beautiful vase full of flowers. I certainly never thought I would.
“Umm… I-I’m not sure…” he stutters. Clearing his throat, tries again. “I’m not supposed to take them back. You’re supposed to keep them,” he finishes with a frown.
I blow out a breath and reach for the flowers, just wanting the guy to leave. I accept them, but they are going straight into the trash.
I bump the door closed with my hip after the flustered guy turns on his heel, eyeing me strangely over his shoulder. I try really hard not to look at the flowers I’m now holding as I walk to the kitchen, but my eyes won’t listen to my mind. My damn feet won’t take me to the trash can either.
Instead, they lead me over to the bar and my treacherous hands put them down on the counter. I spy the card that’s attached to the plastic clip and before I can stop myself, my hand is reaching for it and sliding the card out. I loathe myself when my heart jumps at seeing the message inside.
I miss seeing your beautiful face.
Forever yours,
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Asher
Why does this have to be so hard? I tip my head back to blink away the tears and silently plead for God to answer me.
I stuff the card back inside the small envelope and set it down on the counter. I run a finger down a petal, missing the softness and scent of the roses. The ones I had before I left are all dead and thrown out in my garbage can outside. That was one of the first things I did when I came home yesterday, not wanting the reminder of what I briefly had. I don’t think I can get rid of these, though.
I turn my back on them and walk aimlessly around my house. I feel lost. I’m used to being at work right now, not sitting around at home with nothing to do. I’ve always worked, from the time I was fifteen up until the bank took the hardware store away and the small amount of time before I started working for Asher. I need something to do, but I don’t know what. I’ve done all the cleaning I can. I’m not in the mood to work on the family tree. Reading and watching TV doesn’t appeal to me at the moment. I didn’t realize how boring my life was until now.
The park.
I can go to the park and feed the ducks. That always cheers me up when I’m down. I just hope it holds my attention today. My stomach grumbles, reminding me I haven’t eaten yet, so I make myself a sandwich to go along with me. I slip several extra slices of bread into the clear container for the ducks and walk back to my room for my phone. It rings, just as I pick it up from the bed.
It’s Liv again. Guilt eats at me as I press ignore. I’ll call her this evening. If I don’t, I’m sure her and Tony will be banging down my door. I look at the time on my phone and notice it’s after five, which means she’s off work by now, which also means she could show up any minute.
The phone dings with a new message.
Liv: Why in the hell are you avoiding me? Can you at least let me know you’re alive. I’m worried about you.
Damn it. I can’t do this to her. She’s always been there for me. I can’t leave her completely in the dark. I hate knowing she’s worried about me and there’s something I can do to relieve that worry.
I type as I walk down the hallway back to the kitchen.
Me: I’m fine. I’ll call you this evening. I’m sorry.
That should tie her over until tonight, or at least I hope it does. I know I’m being a shitty friend. She would be here for me in a heartbeat. She loves me just as much as I love her, and I’d do anything for her.
I close out of the text app and am just getting ready to slip it back in my pocket when my phone rings again.
What the hell is this, Grand Central Station?
It shows up as a private number, and an eerie sense of foreboding washes over me. Could it be the same guy that sent me the threatening message in the car in Dallas? Asher said he wouldn’t bother me anymore,but how can he be so sure? The ringing stops, but before I can feel relief, a shiver races down my spine. I don’t know how I know, but I know there are eyes on me, watching me. I look around the room, zeroing in on each window I can see. My feet carry me backwards until I’m in the mouth of the hallway, just out of sight of all the windows. If I can’t see them, then they can’t see me. I jump and shriek when my phone rings again in my trembling hand.
Private number.
I know it’s him. It has to be. He’s taunting me and he knows it.
I hit accept and bring the phone to my ear, my hands shaking so much I’m barely able to keep hold of it.
“W-what do you want?” I ask. Even to my own ears, I can hear the tremors in my voice.
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“You know what I want,” a deep, gravelly
voice responds, making my already quivering legs shake more. “He may have already had you, but I’ll be the last one that ever touches you again.”
I sag back against the wall with tears welling in my eyes.
“What do you want? Why are you doing this?” I cry.
“Because you’re mine,” he says resolutely, sending my fear skyrocketing. “I’m coming for you, Poppy, and I won’t be as nice as he was.”
There’s a click on the line, and all I hear is silence. I feel like I weigh a thousand pounds as my body slides to the floor, my legs no longer able to hold me up. I wrap my arms around my legs and try to get my trembling body under control. I sit in my dark hallway, contemplating on what I should do. I’m scared as hell. I want to call Asher and tell him what happened, but I also don’t want to see him. I know he’ll protect me, but I’m not ready to face him yet. And if I’m being truthful, I’m also worried about his reaction. I may be pissed at him, but I don’t want to see him get into trouble. And I have no doubt he’ll go off the deep end if he finds out this guy is still harassing me.
I pick my body up off the floor, my legs still wobbly, and creep down the hallway. The feeling of being watched is no longer present, but that doesn’t mean he’s no longer there. I peek my head around the corner and look out into the living room. I look to each window and see nothing out of place. Shivers still race up my spine though. I don’t feel safe here anymore.
I turn on my heel and rush to the bathroom that’s connected to my room. Locking the door behind me, I find Liv’s number and push send. I don’t want to involve her and Tony, but I have no one else I can call.
A rush of relief slams through me when I hear her voice, almost bringing me to tears again.
“What the hell, Pop? Why haven’t you been answering my calls?” she demands, hurt evident in her voice. “I’ve been worried sick.”
“Liv,” I whisper, fear making my tears impossible to hold back.
“Poppy? What’s wrong?” she asks, worry replacing the hurt.
“I’m scared.” I don’t know if it’s because I’m scared whoever may be watching can hear me, or if I’m just not capable of talking louder. “I think someone’s watching me.”
“Where are you?” she demands.
“In the bathroom,” I answer shakily.
I hear a shuffling sound and murmurs in the background before there’s a thump, then Tony’s voice comes on the line.
“What happened?” he asks harshly.
I cringe at his tone, but know it’s not aimed at me. Tony is very protective of Liv and will do anything for her. As her best friend, that protection includes me.
“N-nothing. I just had a c-creepy phone call from someone. Can I come over?”
There’s more shuffling and then I hear a door slam.
“Are your doors locked?”
“Yes,” I whimper pathetically.
“We’re on our way over. Just stay in the bathroom and on the phone with Liv until we get there, okay?”
I nod, then realize he can’t see me. “Okay. Please hurry.”
“We will.”
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Seconds later, Liv’s voice sounds over the line. “Are you okay?” she asks.
I squeeze my eyes shut and rest my head back against the tile wall behind me. I take in a few deep breaths, trying to force back the bile rising in my throat, and wrap my arms around my middle.
“Physically, I’m fine. I just don’t understand why this is happening to me.” My voice is still shaky.
“Just take a deep breath, Pop,” Liv says calmly, trying her best soothe me. “We’ll be there in a few minutes.”
I suck in a deep breath through my nose and blow it out through my mouth. My racing heart pounds in my chest, and I can feel the beat in my ears. The top of my head prickles and my skin turns clammy. I’m on the verge of a panic attack. I’ve never had one before, but I’ve seen them firsthand and know the symptoms. I sit down on the toilet and put my head down between my knees.
The sound of Liv breathing on the other end of the line is the only thing keeping me rooted in place.
I don’t know how long I sit there before Liv asks, “You still there, Poppy?”
“Yes.”
“We’re pulling in your driveway now. Come meet us at the door, sweetie.”
I get up on laden feet and frantically fumble with the lock. It takes me several tries to get the damn door open, then I’m rushing down the hall and over to the front door. As soon as I pull it open, I’m wrapped up in Liv’s arms. I don’t know who embraces who first, I’m just glad she’s here. I soak Liv’s shirt with tears as we stand on my stoop. Feeling Tony’s hand run up and down my back gives me comfort.
Several minutes pass when I feel Tony nudge both of us forward.
“Let’s go inside. Go grab Poppy a glass of water, Dolcezza,” he murmurs, and leads me to the couch after closing and locking the door.
I’m shivering when I take a seat and Tony grabs the throw blanket off the back of the couch and lays it over my shoulders. He rubs up and down my arms, trying to knock the shivers out of me. Liv comes out with a glass of water and I unclasp my tight hands and take it from her, gulping down several swallows before handing it back to her.
“Thank you,” I say. I try to smile, but I’m sure it comes off as weak.
Tony sits down beside me and leans forward so his elbows are resting on his knees. Liv sits on my other side, grabs my hand and brings it to her lap. I soak up the warmth of her palm in mine.
“Tell us what’s going on?” Tony says quietly.
I give my head a shake and sit up straighter in my seat. My fingers squeeze Liv’s. She grips mine tighter in comfort and it helps lessen the anxiety I’m feeling. I keep my eyes forward when I start talking.
“About a week ago, I think someone broke into my house and rifled through my lingerie drawer. At the time I thought I had just forgot to close it the last time I was getting something out, but now I’m not so sure. A few days ago, in Dallas, I got a
weird text from a private number. It was threat, but I’m not sure if it was more for me or Asher. Asher knows about it and assured me he’d take care of it. Then today, I got a phone call.” I start shivering again. “H-he told m-me he was coming for me.”
“Jesus Christ,” Tony mutters, raking his hands through his hair. He turns to me. “Asher is your and Liv’s boss, right?”
“Yes,” Liv answers for me.
“Do you know what he’s done with this?”
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“No, just that he’s taking care of it. I don’t really care what he does, as long as it stops. I don’t feel safe in my own home right now, and I hate that feeling.”
“Does he know about the phone call from tonight?”
I look down and pull at a loose string on the throw blanket that’s partially sitting in my lap.
“No.”
Tony gets up from the couch and pulls out his phone. “Liv, you and Poppy go grab a bag with a couple days’ worth of clothes. You’re coming home with us.”
“Tony, I don’t…” I start. I don’t feel right encroaching on their home. I know they wouldn’t care, but it still feels wrong to bring this to their doorstep. This isn’t their problem. I shouldn’t have called them.
“Do you know what he’s done with this?”
“No, just that he’s taking care of it. I don’t really care what he does, as long as it stops. I don’t feel safe in my own home right now, and I hate that feeling.”
“Does he know about the phone call from tonight?”
I look down and pull at a loose string on the throw blanket that’s partially sitting in my lap.
“No.”
Tony gets up from the couch and pulls out his phone. “Liv, you and Poppy go grab a bag with a couple days’ worth of clothes. You’re coming home with us.”
“Tony, I don’t…” I start. I don’t feel right encroaching on their home. I know they wouldn’t care, but it still feels wrong to bring this to their doorstep. This isn’t their problem. I shouldn’t have called them.
“It’s not up for debate,” Tony says, his eyes hard. “We don’t know who this guy is or what he’s capable of. Not only will Liv kick my ass if something were to happen to you, it would devastate her. You know I don’t like when my woman gets hurt.
Now, go with Liv and grab some clothes.” His eyes soften slightly when he sees me worriedly biting my lip. He walks over and looks down at me. “Poppy, please, just do what I say. This is going to be taken care of, but I need to know you won’t get hurt in the process.”
I look over at Liv and see her watching me. The worry on her face breaks my heart. These two people are my only two friends, and friends help each other, protect each other. There’s no way either will give in on this, just like I wouldn’t give in if it were Liv in this situation.
I nod and Liv pulls me up from the couch. I close my eyes when Tony leans down and kisses my forehead, not realizing how much I needed them until just now. With Asher out of the picture, I have no one I can ask for help. And I don’t think going to the police will do much. You hear all the time when victims contact the police and nothing happens until it’s too late. If something were to happen to me, I would just be another statistic.
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Tbc
Endless Obsession
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